Servant Boy
by KaGoMeS-kId-TrEaSuRe
Summary: He is her everything, and she is the reason he's still alive. But will their love survive the fact that she is a Princess, and he's... her servant? -Bella/Edward, All human, slightly OOC **COMPLETED**
1. Bella

**A.N. Ok! This is my first story.. so please don't hate ^.^ Thanks in advance! :P**

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I remember when I was young and life seemed so much simpler. I grew up in a castle filled with servants who would tend to my every need. Although my parents barely had time to spend with me, I cherished the time I had with them. It didn't matter to me anyway, I understood. They were King Charlie and Queen Renee. Rulers of the land. Besides, I had tons of people waiting to please me. I knew that none of them actually loved me, but all of them were willing to do what I asked because I was a Princess. There was nothing else I felt I **needed**. You may think me rude and spoiled, and even though I was, I was understanding. The consequence of growing up in such a huge place and having anything I wanted at my finger tips with little affection from the rest of my family, made me grow up sympathizing with those who were also unloved or unwanted. My heart ached for those just like me.

I was seven years old the first time I laid my eyes on Edward Masen. The sun was nearly setting off in the distance, and there was a feeling of ease floating through the castle. Mother was sewing a blanket somewhere in the castle, and Father was sitting on his throne, reading. It was the first time that month that he wasn't busy and so I decided to see if he could tell me one of those silly stories of his, or even have a little tea party with me. As I peered into the crack of the tall wooden doors, I saw him flipping slowly through he pages. I wasn't really supposed to be there, watching him. I was supposed to be practicing the piano; playing the same little scale over and over again... it bored me. My overly happy piano teacher didn't make it any better. Her sense of cheerfulness made me resent playing even more.

"Come on! You can do it! Play it again," She cheered me on with a fake smile. I was ten minutes late for my piano lesson and she was probably looking for me now. What a pain. Only I could see that it was an act not to be fired. Deciding to enter, whether or not I got scolded for missing classes, I quietly opened the door to-

There was a bang as the double doors opened, slamming against the wall. Three guards dressed in red, wearing big, black boots and carrying swords entered the room. They were holding a thin person between their arms.

"What is the meaning of this?" Father's voice rang with full authority.  
"Your Highness, we found this boy trying to steal apples from the Royal Garden," the guard closest to me said.

_'How dare they?'_ I thought, _'Interrupting my precious time with Father, for a stupid, pathetic little boy who-' _Father stood up and approached the thin figure, struggling to get free from the guards' grasp.

I gasped as I looked more carefully at the boy. He was covered in dirt, from his face to his uncovered feet. His clothes were tattered and old and hadn't been changed for days. He wasn't much taller than I was, and, although he was so thin and fragile looking, he didn't look like he was a little boy. His eyes were the colour of topaz gems and his hair, flipped and standing in every direction, was bronze with a light tint of red. Bruises covered his arms and legs, and he had a deep gash right under his right eye. His face was hard, and his eyes held no fear or pain, only hate and distrust. Despite that, there was no denying his Godlike beauty. Underneath all the dirt and scars, there was definitely something about him that captured me.

"What is your name, boy?" Father questioned. The boy continued to look at Father with those cold, amber eyes. The guard smacked him in the head.

"His Highness is speaking to you, beggar!"

The boy bowed his head in defeat and said in a soft, velvety tone,

"Edward Masen, Sir."

Father asked, "Why are you stealing apples from the Royal Garden, Edward?"

"I- I was hungry, Sir," Edward replied

"Hungry?" The Guard huffed, "Stealing from Royalty, all because you're HUNGRY? Ha, you're in for it this time, boy!"

"Enough," Father ordered, "Just send him to the dungeon then." Father said. Worry fleeted across Edward's face as the other two guards grabbed his arms and carried him away. I could hardly mask my dismay.

"Father! You can't throw him in the dungeon for APPLES! Father, have mercy!" I cried.

"Isabella, he stole from us, from the Kingdom. I can hardly let him go unpunished,"

"But, Father... Guards! Stop! Bring the boy here!" Not sure who's order to obey, the guards looked at Father, who nodded. They brought the boy towards me.

"Boy," I said in a brave voice, "How- how old are you?"

Not looking me directly in the eyes, he simply stated," Nine, miss"

"And when was the last time you've eaten?"

"A little over three days, Miss."

"Lies!" yelled the Guard

"Silence!" I ordered. Turning to father, I looked at him with pleading eye and said,

"Papa, it's not _his_ fault. Please, let him off easy." Father observed the boy with skepticism on his face. Father looked as if he was being strangled by something. He gaped at me for a couple minutes.

Breaking the silence, I asked,

"Boy, where are your parents?"

He shook his head, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Gone," He said

_'Gone?'_ It was as I feared. This beautiful boy standing in front of me was also unwanted in his own home.

"But Bella-" Father started,

"Father, please, PLEASE, forgive him..." I begged, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"I... I supposed I could just let him off with a warning...Very well. Send him out of here. Boy, I wish never to see you again," he commanded.

"But Father!" I gasped.  
"What is it now, Bella?" He asked, slightly amused.  
"It's- well it's almost dark, and he has no one else to turn to... can't- can't we let him stay? Perhaps he could be a servant boy?"

Knowing that I would never let it go, father chortled. He looked at Edward and questioned him.

"Do you know how to cook, boy?"

"Yes Sir"

"Clean?"

"Yes Sir"

"And you wouldn't mind living here for the rest of your life?"

"No, no Sir, I would not"

"Aha! I see! Very well then. I know that I cannot stop Isabella once she puts her mind to something, and she seems to really want to save you. You aren't much older than she is either... Humph. Well, it's settled then. Edward, for now on, you shall be a servant boy here at the castle. You will be like any other servant, you will eat when all the other servants eat, do what all the other servants do and you will make, my little Bella here, your first priority. You shall keep her safe and make sure she gets whatever she wants. Understood? It is, after all thanks to her that you're still alive now. Aside from that, whenever Isabella feels like she doesn't need you, you will tend to other things like helping the chef to cook and cleaning up around the castle. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Ha, very good then, boy. CARLISLE!" Father called. Carlisle was our best servants, and the only servant I actually liked. He had porcelain skin, blonde hair a wonderful smile. He was only about twenty but he was definitely the best servant we had, and the most handsome. Carlisle walked in obediently, as soon as Father called.

"You called, your Majesty?" He asked.

"Yes. Carlisle, your newest task is to train this boy, Edward, into a servant. Edward, if I hear any complaints about you from Calisle or anyone else in the castle, you will be back on the streets again. You are to listen carefully to Carlisle's instructions and follow anything her says. All right now, you best be off, both of you."

"Yes Sire," Carlisle bowed, "Come along now, Edward"

I watched as Edward walked away with Carlisle. _'Please,'_ I thought, _'Please help Edward stay.'_


	2. Gone

**A.N. OMG! Thanks everyone for reading && reviewing :D It really made my day. I'd like to dedicate this chapter in three ways. For my BEST FRIENDS, Sam and Leena for helping me out of a very sad and tough situation, and encouraging me to post this story on fanfiction, (with out them I don't know if I would have), To everyone who reveiwed/favourited/added this story to their alerts (very much appreciated) ;) AND to you, because you are reading my story right now. Thaaaaaaanks everyone ! ^.^**

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I never knew my dad. He died when I was about three. My mother said that he was handsome, intelligent, and easy to love. He was the only one who could make her laugh even when she didn't want to. I never really mentioned him because she always got sad when she talked about him, and I hated to see her like that. She never told me how he died. She said that I didn't look much like him, but we had the exact same eyes. She used to tell me that whenever she missed him, she could just look into my eyes and find him there.

They first met when her parents thought that she was old enough to get married. My mother was opposed to it, of course, because she hated getting dragged into something against her own will. But when her families introduced them, they looked each other in the eyes, and instantly fell in love. He became her strength and her happiness.

When my father died, my mother's world was lost. Even I could tell that she missed him. At one point, she even locked herself up in her room all day long. Then she remembered that she still had me. I was still there, and once she realized that, I became her everything.

My mother was beautiful. She had a smile that could easily warm anyone's heart. With her beauty and kindness, she made many of the villagers fall in love with her at first sight.

One of my favorite memories with my mother was when I was five and she was drawing a picture of a tree outside. It was simply amazing. Not just the picture, but she herself; the way the wind played with her hair and the way the sun reflected off of her with a warm glow. When she caught me staring, she gave me one of those frequent smiles of hers, and called me over.

"Would you like to draw too?" she asked me. I nodded. Every afternoon after that, she taught me how to draw. I thought that I was lucky if I could master even half of her talent.

Mother used to rely on Father to bring home money. When he died, we didn't receive a lot to live off of. We were running out of money, and Mother soon became ill. Worried about what would happen to me if she followed the same path my father did, she got remarried to a man who promised to take me in if anything happened to her. The man loved her to death, but could care less about me. Whenever she wasn't around, he would treat me unkindly. Of course, my mother didn't know about this, but there was no way I could tell her, even if I wanted to. She would never let it continue. I thought that if she knew, she would probably leave the man. I knew I could not let that happen because Mother needed to get better and we needed him and his money to do so. There was no way I would tell her what he did to me if she needed him so much. Mother always came first.

A few years passed, and she got more and more ill. Soon, she was bound to her bed. She stopped eating and her body became tired and weak. Even her smiles appeared less often. One day, I was sitting in the corner of her room, drawing. It was quiet and the only other sound was her raspy breathing. She tossed around in her bed.

"Edward?" she called. I put my things down and walked over to the side of her bed. Kneeling down, I replied,

"Yes, Mother?"

"Edward, I'm so sorry that I couldn't give you more. Look at you. You're only a boy. Oh Edward, I- I love you so much"

"As I love you, Mother," I said.

"My dear boy, you're still so young. I'm so sorry Edward. Please forgive me," she begged.

"Forgive you Mother? What for? You haven't done anything wrong." I reassured her.

"It's such a shame," she continued. "You are so handsome, my son. I've only been with you for a couple of years and I barely know you. You are always so calm and collected, and I can never tell what you're really thinking. Now I'll never get the chance to. Please Edward if I could ask of you, sometimes, you have to tell someone how you feel. Please, let someone inside of you. I love you… Edward…"

"Mother? Stop it! Stop talking like this! Nothing is going to happen to you. You are okay. You'll get well soon, I'm sure of it! This isn't the end, it can't be!" I said, frustrated that she was speaking this way.

"My son…" she smiled. Looking me in the eyes once more, she grabbed my hands, and, using whatever strength she had left in her, she gently squeezed them.

"Remember what I said, understood, Edward? Please? I… love… you…," she breathed.

"Mother? Mother? Mother no! Mother, please! Mother, wake up! Open your eyes, Mother! Mother, Mother...please? For- for me?"

That night happened over a year ago. Yet still I remember the man coming home that day and seeing me crying over her body. He blamed me for her death, for 'killing the woman he loved'. He locked me in my room and drank the night away. The next morning I woke up realizing that she was gone. My mother left me alone in this world, and she would never come back to me.

The man reluctantly obeyed her last wish. He took me in, treating me like a slave. I was trapped inside the house for the whole day, eating only a loaf of bread and a glass of milk. I was to do what ever he wished for and I was to sleep on the cold floor at night. Often he got drunk and beat me. He yelling at me, telling me it was my fault she died; that I was the one who killed her. I was imprisoned to a hateful man, in my once happy home.

My mother was…gone.

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**A.N. Sorry this chapter wasn't as long as the first. Yeahh it was kinda random, but I thought that you should get to know where Edward came from. Please R&R :)**


	3. Swing

**A.N. OOOOOOKAYYYY! LOL Uhmm yeah this is kinda a random chapter... but I thought it was cute! XD If you're wondering, the POV's go from Bella to Edward and back to Bella again... :) Please R && R ;) ^.^ **

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"Carlisle... I want a swing!" I said.

"Certainly Princess…Wait, a swing? What?"

"Yes, you heard me correctly… a swing." Carlisle looked at me, stunned.

"Of course, Princess, right away." He bowed and then practically sprinted off to the castle.

The cool breeze and fresh air soothed me. I was sitting on a white chair in the garden, drinking tea and listening to the sounds that came with the spring. Sipping my tea, I heard a nest full of robins chirping in a branch close by and some bees buzzing around, coming together in harmony. Around the yard I saw a couple workers trimming the hedges and adding more fish into the pond. None of them dared come near me. Why would they? It wasn't as if they cared about me. To them, I was just a Princess. That's the only reason they wanted to make me happy, because I was a Princess.

I heard footsteps approaching. Carlisle was back.

"Princess?" Carlisle said.

"Carlisle," I answered without looking at him.

"There seems to be a problem with the swing…" he said.  
I groaned, "What is it now Carlisle?"

"You see Princess, we can't make a swing right now. A proper swing will take at least a day to make and a few hours to bring to the castle. Even if we made it in the castle, it would take just as long to hire workers to build it... That will not be a problem, will it? Surely, it will not matter when the swing is built, as long as it's built. Tomorrow morning is a great time as any, is it not? We couldn't just make one here without experts, it would be unheard of. We would never make one if it were not good enough for you."

"I. Want. It. Now." I demanded.

"But Princess-"

"No. I will not stand for it, Carlisle. I want a swing, and I want it now!"

"What's the big deal? It's just a swing?" a new voice interrupted our conversation.

"Edward!" Carlisle hissed. I turned around to see Edward standing beside Carlisle. He wasn't covered in dirt like the last time I saw him. Instead, he was dressed in servant clothes and was staring at another direction. Annoyance was clear on his face. I was surprised that I hadn't noticed him there.

"Edward, we've gone through this already. Princess, please forgive him. He hasn't become accustomed to living here yet. There's still so much for him to learn," Carlisle said. He was right. Only a week had passed by since Edward started living here. Since then, Carlisle had been showing him the ways of the castle.

"I don't see the point. Not only is she a girl, she is younger than I am too, and all she ever does is run around the castle, ordering people around. Why should I show any signs of respect towards her, when she doesn't respect anyone?"

"Edward, please-" Carlisle tried to reason with him.

"Let him speak, Carlisle." Turning to Edward, I said, "What did you ask me boy?"

"Edward," he said, pronouncing his name slowly. Finally looking at me, he mumbled, "What is the big deal about this swing of yours? Why is it so important? It's just a _swing_. You are a _Princess_, you can have anything you want and yet, you ask for a _swing_? What makes it so important that you need to boss people around to get it?"

'_Why?' _I thought to myself. No one has ever spoken to me like that. Most of them were afraid that I would tell Father and they would get fired, so no matter how I badly acted, none of them ever dared to talk back to me. _'He's right. Why __**is**__ it so important?'_

I spent most of the afternoon 'with' Father on our carriages, riding through town. Father told me that he had some business and invited me to come along. Thinking that I would get to spend some time with him, I decided to go. For the most part, it bored me.

That's when I saw them. As we were strolling down the road through some town houses, we came across a house with a swing. It was a long plank of wood that was tied to a tree with some rope. Three little girls and who I assumed where their parents were pushing each other on the swing with a smile pasted on their faces and their laughter echoing in the air. Whenever we passed through a town, most people stopped and bowed to us, or waved at us. But not these people. They were the only ones who didn't notice us passing by. They were caught in their own little world. That was why. Those girls were filled with so much happiness, all from a swing. Maybe a part of me was hoping that I could gain some of that happiness one day.

"Why, you ask? You said so yourself, Edward. I am a Princess. What ever I want goes. Now tell me, what gives **you** the right to speak to **me**, _ROYALTY_, like that? Know your place," I sneered. Edward glared at me. He looked at Carlisle, eyes pleading, wanting to cuss back at me. Carlisle just shook his head.

As soon as I realized what I just said, I wanted to take it back. What would it matter though? Why did I care so much if Edward was hurt? It was true. I am a Princess and he is only a servant boy.

"Princess," Carlisle said, "It's time for your piano lesson." I looked up at the sky. He was right, the sun was nearly setting. Standing up from my chair, I walked right past them without saying a word and headed straight to take my class.

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This castle had too many rules. For the past couple days, I was flooded with things to say or do in front of Royalty. It wasn't that they were hard to remember, since Carlisle was able to list all of them. It was that there were too many.

"_You must follow me until you fully understand what you're doing."_

"_Servants are not meant to be seen or heard unless called."_

"_When the King and Queen or Princess calls, you must answer immediately."_

"_When you are called, you must respond with a polite, 'You Highness or Your Majesty' "_

"_Since you are in placed to watch the Princess, you must be near her at all times."_

"_The Princess is your main priority so you must do as she asks you." _

"_Eat before attending any duties, unless you are called."_

"_Never speak directly to the Princess or any other Royalty unless spoken to first."_

"_Bow when you are leaving Royalty."_

"_Never call Royalty by their names, only by Princess, Your majesty or Your Highness"_

"_Never show your feelings or loose your temper in front of them."_

"_The Princess is ill-tempered, but you must set that aside. What she wants must be given to her. And if there is one thing to remember, you must never, __**ever**__ talk back to the Princess. You will follow me around until you fully understand what you're doing."_

It was a very long week, but still... _"This is where you will be sleeping Edward. Welcome to your new room." _Carlisle said.

He smiled, "You may sleep when you wish to but, you must wake up at exactly 6 a.m. sharp, have a change of clothes, and head to the Kitchen.. There, one of the other servants will give you some food. Please be timely. At exactly 12:30, you must report back to the Kitchen to have lunch. Diner will be at six."

I sat on my bed and looked at my new room. It was small and slightly dusty, but I didn't mind. I could have shared a room with five other people, and it would be heaven._ 'I have my own room again and my own bed. Not only that, I get to eat again,' _I thought. I fell asleep that night with a feeling of ease. I was home.

She didn't even turn around to look at Carlisle as she demanded for a swing. I didn't understand her. She was a Princess for Heaven's sake. She could have anything and she asked for a swing? Doesn't she understand how some people in the world are begging for food right now, while here she is, begging for a swing? This brat was spoiled to the core.

"What's the big deal? It's just a swing," I said.

"Edward!" Carlisle hissed. She finally turned around, looking at me in disbelief. "Edward, we've gone through this already. Princess, please forgive him. He hasn't become accustomed to living here yet. There's still so much for him to learn," Carlisle said.

"I don't see the point. Not only is she a girl, she is younger than I am too, and all she ever does is run around the castle, ordering people around. Why should I show any signs of respect towards her, when she doesn't respect anyone?" I said.

"Edward, please-" Carlisle tried to reason with me.

"Let him speak, Carlisle." She said. Turning to me, she asked, "What did you ask me boy?"

"Edward," I said, pronouncing my name slowly. It bothered me the way she called me 'boy' when I obviously have a name. Looking at her I muttered, "What is the big deal about this swing of yours? Why is it so important? It's just a _swing_. You are a _Princess_, you can have anything you want and yet, you ask for a _swing_? What makes it so important that you need to boss people around to get it?"

She looked shocked that I was speaking to her. As she pondered on my words, her face grew troubled.

"Why, you ask? You said so yourself, Edward. I am a Princess. What ever I want goes. Now tell me, Edward, what gives **you** the right to speak to **me**, ROYALTY, like that? Know your place," she jeered. I scowled at her, then looked at Carlisle, wanting to cuss back at her. Carlisle just shook his head. Why did what she say hurt me so much? It's not like I should care about what she thought of me. She was right, though I am just a servant boy, and she is a bratty little Princess.

"Princess," Carlisle said, "It's time for your piano lesson." She looked up at the sky. The sun was nearly setting. Standing up from her chair, she walked right past us without saying a word and headed straight inside the castle.

Once she left, Carlisle frowned. "Edward," he groaned.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I won't do it again." I said, and I walked away. She wanted a swing? Then it was my duty to give it to her.

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My piano lesson was finally over and I had an hour or two before diner was served. I decided to walk around for a bit. I hummed to myself as I roamed around the empty halls. You'd think that in a castle, there'd be a ton of people walking around. Not true. That's when I looked out the window and saw him. It was Edward and he was in a tree, tying a rope to the tree branch.

'_Is he out of his mind?' _I thought as I rushed outside to the garden. By the time I got to him, I was out of breath, and he was finished tying the knot.

"Edward!" I yelled. He immediately came down the tree and dusted himself off.

"Yes Princess?" he asked in a mock tone.

"What-what's the meaning of this? Why in the world were you sitting atop a tree?"

"You asked for a swing, Your Majesty," he said. I looked at the rope, and followed it all the way down to the wooden plank. It was a swing; he made a swing with his own two hands. He went all through that trouble, because of me? There was a difference when a stranger was paid to make one, but when someone goes out of there way to make one for me… Not even Carlisle went through all this trouble...

"Let's get this straight," Edward said, breaking my train of thought. "I didn't make this swing because you are a Princess. I made it because I owe you one for saving me from the dungeon. Consider us almost even."

Tears started forming in my eyes. He didn't care that I was a Princess, he did this to say thank you. I took another good look at the swing. It looked exactly like the one I saw that family playing with, their happiness overflowing as they played. That's when I realized that I too, was happy.

"Hey," Edward looked at me, concerned, "Are you crying?" I shook my head.

"Oh, ok. Well then, why are you just standing there? Aren't you going to try it out?" Nodding, I ran up to Edward and hugged him. "Thank-you," I whispered.

His tone soften when he said,

"Just get on. Here, I'll push you." I smiled. I was filled with so much happiness… all from a swing.


	4. Suprise Surprise? SURPRISE!

**A.N. Ok! So sorry for updating so late, but at least I did! :P Ok so yeahh thanks to everyone again for reading, reviewing, alerting and favouriting! Here is Chapter 4! ^.^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (haha I just had to since a lot of people do this) But I DO own that song/poem, Happily Ever After. I wrote it, therefore I own it && so does one of my besties cuz she wrote the music to it && yeahh just so my other bestie doesn't feel left out of this little disclamier, RAWWR! && Die With A Friend cuz imma blow yer freaking head off Thayym less than 3 **

**So yeahh these author notes are getting longer and longer haha ;) Please Enjoy P.S. I LOVE LILACS.**

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This was it, the day that I've been waiting for since a year ago. It's all I could talk about for the past month and it's been driving Edward and the rest of the castle crazy. My birthday. To be honest, I didn't care at all about the presents or getting older, this was the only day that Mother and Father took time off of their busy schedule to spend the day with me. Today, Mother and Father **promised** to spend the whole day with me doing what ever I wished, which was to have all their attention on me. I couldn't wait.

"Princess?" a high-pitched voice whispered. One of the maids came into my room to see if I was ready for breakfast. "Are you awake yet, Princess?" It was Alice, Carlisle's daughter. She had short, spiky black hair that flipped at the ends and big, round eyes. She was tiny and slim and when she smiled, it reminded me of what I thought a pixie should look like. She wore a tight-fitting black dress that ended at her knees, and matching black shoes. Alice was like my big sister, my best friend and was one of my most favourite people in the world, like most of Carlisle's family. I even liked Alice's mother, Esme, her brother Emmett and her adopted brother, Jasper. Her adopted sister, Rosalie, was another story though.

"Yes of course Alice! Why wouldn't I be? Today is going to be splendid! Oh Alice, I'm so excited!" I hopped out of my bed and stood up, arms in the air. Almost every morning, Alice would come wake me up and get me dressed. She of course would pick out what I would wear. Alice came over and took off my night gown. Then, she grabbed a blue frilly dress and pulled it over my head. She turned me around and tied the red ribbon on the back of my dress. Taking a step back, she told me to spin around so she could get a good look at me. As I twirled about, I giggled.

Giggling with me, she said, "Looks like someone's in a good mood today. Here, sit down and I'll brush your hair." I sat down on a chair in front of a mirror and watched Alice fix my hair. It didn't take too long for me to get excited again.

"Mother and father promised to spend the entire day with me today. I can't wait anymore, Alice! Please hurry up and let me go," I pleaded. She laughed and said, "Please calm down Princess, I'll never be able to fix this tangled mess of hair if you keep moving like this!"

"I'm sorry, I- I just can't wait!" Alice laughed her lighthearted laugh and leaning in closer to me, she put her hands on my shoulders. Looking at her in the mirror, I watched as she whispered, "Happy Birthday, Princess." I stood up and Alice bowed, I flashed her a brilliant smile and sprinted off to Mother and Father's room. As I left, I heard Alice sigh.

I knocked loudly on their door. "Mother! Father! Wake up!" I yelled. There was no answer. I looked at the clock. It was already ten o'clock. 'They're probably having their breakfast,' I thought, and I skipped happily towards the kitchen. As I approached the kitchen, I heard plates clattering together and dishes being washed. As I got closer, I could smell the scent of sausages and bacon sizzling, and muffins cooling off. My favourite!

I pushed the doors open and called excitedly, "Mother! Father!" Silence. The whole room literally froze and went quiet. Only the sound of the food being cooked was heard. Some people looked at each other anxiously, but no one moved.

"Happy Birthday, Princess!" Esme greeted.

"Yes, yes, happy birthday Princess," the rest of the room applauded, then began talking in harsh whispers.

"We made your favourites, Princess, just like your Mother and Father told us to!" Esme said cheerfully. A little too cheerfully. I let my eyes wonder, searching for my parents.

"Well?" I insisted, "Where are they?"

"You see Princess," Esme began, "The King and Queen, your parents, are- are awfully busy and-"

"Where are they Esme?" I implored, raising my voice.

"Now, now Princess," Jasper said in attempt to calm me down, "Please sit down and eat. Esme and the other kitchen workers have spent a great deal preparing your meal. If you don't eat it, you might hurt their feelings. The King and Queen have both been called down for duty somewhere in town. They are very sorry and promised that they would come back as soon as they can. They said to tell you that you should eat, keep yourself busy and that they will take you out as soon as they come home. Look, they even left you a present!"

"What do you take me for? A fool? They'll come back at night, when I'm fast asleep and wish not to speak to them. I should have known. This day was too good to be true. too great to last. Please excuse me everyone, I'm not very hungry. Please help yourself though," I excused myself and dashed outside. I ran to the swing Edward made me and started swinging.

'_I knew it,' _I thought,_ 'I can't blame them. I'm just a kid and they have much more important things to do. They are the King and Queen anyway. It's not like I could be more important than anything else they did._' I let my bangs cover my eyes and started weeping.

A few minutes later, I heard several footsteps coming from behind me.

"Princess?" a velvety voice mumbled.

"What do you want Edward?" I asked without looking.

"It's just that, Princess, your parents took time and spend quite a lot of money buying you a gift. I heard them pacing at night, muttering, 'what's good enough to buy our little girl for her eighth birthday?' and, you wouldn't want their efforts go to waste, would you?"

I sighed, "What do you really want, Edward?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, your present ate some of the Royal carrots from the garden so I decided to bring him to you so you two could get acquainted," he muffled a laugh.

I was confused. 'My gift...ate carrots?' Finally turning around, I saw a huge white horse with blue eyes, and Edward holding its rope leader. I gasped.

"What do you think, Princess?" he chuckled.

I jumped off of the swing and shuffled my way towards the horse.

"Look Princess, I know that you're upset, but your parents are honestly sorry. I saw some people having to drag the out this morning because they refused to go away from the castle. They didn't want to break their promise and upset you, that was the last thing on their mind. Please don't be mad at them anymore," Edward said. We both sat down beside the horse.

"This is the fourth birthday they're missed. I should have known better not to count on them to be free for one day. I should have known that they couldn't keep their word," I sobbed quietly.  
"Princess, you must understand that they tried," Edward reassured me. We continued to sit together.

"So what's his name?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Pardon me?" I asked.

"Your horse. What's his name?" I thought

a second and quickly said, "Jeluby!" Edward snickered.

"What kind of name is that?" he demanded through his laughter.

"A different name. Hey, quit laughing at him! It's my horse, I can name him anything I want," I said, miffed.

Sobering up, he agreed. "Yes, very...unique." Suddenly he stood up. Lending me a hand, he said, "Come on, I'd like to show you something." He pulled me up and then helped me get on Jeluby. Then, grabbing the rope, he lead Jeluby and I into the forest that surrounded the castle. As we got deeper and deeper into the forest, Edward told me to close my eyes. When we finally stopped, he helped me off of Jeluby and sat me down.

"You can open your eyes now, Princess," he said. I obeyed and opened my eyes. I looked around. We were in a meadow. It was stunning. The trees were all bent and twisted in different ways, yet all looked so symmetrical. Thin, green grass swayed with the light breeze as sunlight shined through the tree canopies. To the east, I could hear a stream bubbling quietly. Wildflowers covered most of the area, and there was a scent of lilacs in the air**.**

"Edward, this place, it's...it's amazing!"

"Yeah, I thought so too. I found it a while before I started living in the castle. I used to come here all the time to think. I just thought that you would appreciate its beauty as much as I do. I'm glad you like it," he added.

"Like it? I love it! Does anyone else know about this place?" I asked.

"Not that I know of. Let's just keep this place to ourselves, our meadow," he said in a hushed tone.

"Our meadow," I repeated and smiled.

"Oh yeah! I forgot," Edward said, abruptly digging through his pockets. He took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me. "This is for you. Happy birthday!" he smiled.

I unfolded the piece of paper. It was a drawing of me, swinging on the swing. The lines made the picture seem so real, you could see the emotion. It was brilliant. "Edward," I gasped, "Did you draw this?" He nodded.

"It was the only thing I could give you that I thought you would want. It's nothing, really," he shrugged.

"I love it Edward!" I cried and gave him a hug. He blushed. "Thank you so much. You made me look so pretty-"

"You are pretty, Princess. Sometimes I don't think you see yourself clearly." It was my turn to blush.

"How did you learn to draw like this, Edward?" I asked.

"My...my mother taught me how..." he said softly.

"I'm sorry..." I said, ashamed. I made Edward sad again.

"Don't be," he said shaking it off, "I loved my mother. Go ahead, ask whatever you want."

"How... what happened before you came to the castle? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I've known you for months now, and I consider you my friend... and you still haven't told me," I said quickly.

"What happened before the castle? That's a lot," he chuckled. "This is a long story, ok, so no interruptions." I nodded and he continued.

"My father died when I was really young, my mother got very ill and remarried because she was worried that she would die too. She didn't want to leave me all by myself if she were to die. The man she married loved my mother a lot, he hated me. He thought that I was the one coming in between his relationship with mother. When mother died about two years ago, the man died inside too. He still kept me under his house, but became even more horrible and started beating me. One day, he came after me with a broken bottle of alcohol. He slashed at me and, that's where I got this," he said, pointing to the gash under his right eye.

"I was terrified and ran away. That's when I found the town. I lived on the streets for a while and stole a bunch of food that lasted me a few days. Then I ran out of food and went back to the town, but all of the towns' people recognized me and chased me away. That's when I found the palace, and the garden. It's just that I hadn't eaten in so long, and then I saw those apples and I just had to take one...of course I did and the rest is history," he finished his story.

"Are you crying?" he asked, alarmed. I hadn't noticed that I had tears streaming down my face. Poor Edward. The man hurt him so much that he had to leave to start a new life.  
"I'm so sorry, Edward," I said. We sat in silence.

"Many of the other servants told me that you could sing... would you mind singing for me? My mother used to sing me to bed. It would mean a lot to me," he looked at me, beseechingly.  
"I'm not much of a singer, Edward, but of course I will," I took a deep breath and started to sing, _"My Happily Ever After"_

_"No Super Hero to sweep me off my feet  
Or Peter Pan to teach me to fly  
This type of love just doesn't exist  
Because who ever I love says goodbye _

_So where is my fairytale ending?  
Where is my Romeo?  
Where is happily ever after?  
Perhaps I'll never know _

_No Prince charming to wake me with a kiss  
Or Edward who'll love me for my soul  
Is there no one to cradle my lonely heart?  
And fill it's empty hole _

_So where is my fairytale ending?  
Where is my Romeo?  
Where is happily ever after?  
Perhaps I'll never know _

_I don't live in some kind of fairytale  
Filled with Happy Ever After  
In fact my life is memories  
My dreams are an echo of laughter _

_So where is my fairytale ending?  
Where is my Romeo?  
Where is happily ever after?  
Perhaps I'll never know _

_So where is my fairytale ending?  
Where is my Romeo?  
Where is happily ever after?  
Perhaps I'll never know _

_So where is my fairytale ending?  
Where is my Romeo?  
Where is happily ever after?  
Perhaps I'll never know..."_ I finished my song.

"Thank you Princess, you sing beautifully," Edward winked. "Now let's head back before everyone starts getting worried. I'm sure your parents are back now." Helping me back on Jeluby, Edward and I walked back home.

"Happy Birthday, Bella," he whispered.


	5. Just Another Day

**A.N. Heyy everyone! So, so, _so_, SO, sorry that I haven't been able to update in a while. Grr long story short, I got my report card (stupid 3 B's -_-) , my parents didn't like the fact that I knew that I wasn't trying hard enough so they thought that I should be spending less time on the computer. So now, I've been having problems getting on the computer... but it's all good now! And I was GOING to update a couple days ago, but this guy and I had plans which were canceled ( twice -.-) so yeahh sorry! i promise I'll make it up to you guys somehow, maybe check tomorrow and I might have another chapter up again... so yeahh. Please Enjoy Chapter 5 of Servant boy ^.^ hope you guys don't mind that it took so long to update.**

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I woke up with a grin. Stretching my arms and legs, I got out of bed and yawned. Today marked the day that Edward came to the castle three years ago. So many things have changed drastically since then. The castle didn't seem as lonely or as empty as it did before. Since Edward came, I had someone to play with and keep me company. Looking into my huge closet, I pulled out a classic white Muslin Empire Gown that ended just below my knees. It had an orange silk bow wrapped around my midsection and flowed freely down my back. I then leaped into my chair, looked into the mirror, and started frantically brushing my hair. Then parting my hair, I braided it, tying the ends with two orange ribbons. After I was done fussing over my hair, I pinched my cheeks and headed towards Edward's room.

"Whoa!" Alice yelped as I rushed past her, accidentally knocking the towels she was carrying.

"Sorry, Alice," I apologized as I stacked the towels back in her arms. Just as I was about to run off again, she raised her eye brows and asked,

"And where are we off to in such a hurry?"

"Edward's," I replied curtly.

"This early? Have you even eaten breakfast yet?"

"Yes," I said between my teeth, trying to make my escape.

"Liar," Alice accused. "I know you haven't eaten yet. You shouldn't lie, Princess, one time you lies will catch up to you and get you in a whole lot of trouble. Lies always start off small and grow into something bigger. Imagine what your Mother and Father would think. I'm sure they wouldn't be too pleased. And, Princess, if you keep missing breakfast, you'll end up being sick. You can't blow off your health to play with Edward. Besides, you'll hurt Esme's feelings. She made a good breakfast today, hot biscuits," she said.

"Urgh Alice, do I have to?" I whined.

"Please Princess? It's for your own good," she begged.

"Fine," I groaned. Usually, I wouldn't of given in so early, but the sooner I got this over with and ate my breakfast, the sooner I could go see Edward and we could play. I was hungry too, and hot biscuits did sound pretty good. So Alice escorted me to the kitchen and I shoved a piece of bread into my mouth. It was still warm when I got there, and tasted salty with a hint of garlic.

"Happy?" I mumbled sarcastically, the bread still in my mouth.

"Of course," she smiled, eyes twinkling. "But you better start eating like a proper young lady or else your Father is going to have a cow!"

I sat up straight and took the smallest, tiniest bite out of the biscuit and started chewing it oh so slowly.

"That's better," Alice cheered. _'At least one of us was amused_,' I thought.

"I must be off now, Princess. I still have to put these towels away. I'm sure Edward is out doing some garden work right now," she said, bowing, and left. I grabbed another piece of bread and ran outside. Alice was right, she always was. Edward was sitting crouched down on his knees, using some unknown garden tool to dig up a weed. I quickly and quietly tiptoed over, hoping to surprise him. As I got closer, I leaned in and...

"I know you're there, Bella," he said without even a glance back. I sighed. Edward knew. He always knew, but I never knew how.

Since Edward came, I haven't seen a single sad day pass by. Everything seemed so much brighter to me. He always knew what to say and always made sure I was happy- truly happy, not just happy for a while. He actually cared when I was sad, he really listened to what I said, and tried his best to understand it. The best part though, was that he was the only one who treated me like a normal person. There was no 'Princess' with him, just 'Bella'. There as no bowing or acting too nice. He told me things he thought I needed to hear, whether I wanted to hear it or not. He would tell me if I was being insensitive, or spoiled, or if I was bothering him. He would tell me things that no one else would. Like to get a grip, Bella, or calm down, Bella or even about his past.

When we played games, he wouldn't just let me win. He's make me work for it. When I didn't know something, he'd thoroughly teach me. To him, I was just a regular kid. Just Bella. It was because of Edward, that I didn't mind how much time Mother and Father spent with me anymore. I knew that I would never be left alone again. Edward was my best friend, and that's why I love him so much.

My brows furrowed. "How did you know?" I demanded.

"I just do," he said smugly. I could practically hear that smirk in his voice.

"Are you busy right now?" I asked innocently.

"What does it look like? Of course I am," he rolled his eyes.

"Need any help?"

"Not really... How come? Did you have some plans with me?"

"Well, I was hoping we could take a ride on Jeluby and maybe visit the meadow?" I said, looking in the forest's direction.

"Sure. How about you just keep me company right now, and when I'm done, we can go get Jeluby?" he asked. Without answering, I sat down next to him, watching him work.

"Silly girl," he murmured. Standing up, he dusted off him hands and grabbed my white chair. He brought it to me and, while staring in the other direction, he handed it to me.

"Here, sit on this. You'll get your pretty dress dirty if you don't," he warned. Grabbing the chair, I put it down and sat down obediently as he went right back to work. I continued to watch him quietly. He seemed so concentrated on pulling the weeds out.

"It's so pretty outside today," I commented.

He nodded. "It is." We sat in comfortable silence.

A couple minutes later, he wiped the sweat off his brow. Breaking the silence, he said, "Almost done... there. Ok, just let me get cleaned up and I'll meet you in Jeluby's stable." Nodding, I skipped to the stable humming a song to myself. Soon Edward was with me, bringing Jeluby out and getting him ready. I watched in astonishment. I've seen it so many times before, but it was still wonderful to watch Edward brushing through Jeluby's mane. There was such an elegance evident each time Edward stroked of his fur. Once he finished, Edward put on Jeluby's saddle and lifted me on.

"So did you have any specific places in mind?" he asked.

"Yes please, to the meadow?" I replied.

"Sure," he agreed, and we were off. As we were strolling past the garden and into the forest, I saw butterflies flying around. 'Butterflies,' I thought, 'So free to go where ever they please without any "duties" to the world, or kingdom for that fact.'

"So what has you all wound up today?" Edward asked, breaking my thoughts.

"Don't you remember? It's been exactly three years since you first arrived to the castle!"

"Has it? Wow, that seems shorter than it should. I haven't really noticed the time passing," he muttered.

"Yes! I thought that it would be nice to sort of celebrate it together," I said.

"Silly girl, what's there to celebrate for you? I'm happy because I started a new life when I came to the castle, but you don't really have a reason to be happy for me to be here, do you?"

"Of course I do, Edward! You're so funny sometimes," I teased.

"How so?" he asked casually.

"You just are," I giggled, "Ooh! It's the meadow!" I said before he was able to reply. Sure enough, we were at our meadow. Edward helped me get down from Jeluby and made me sit on a stump. I watched for him to tie Jeluby's rope to a tree and waited for him to sit beside me before I turned to him and asked,

"So what's your favourite food, Edward? I could ask Esme to make it for you, and I can ask Father if you can rest for the remainder of the day. No one will complain, you deserve a break," I rambled on.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella," he said, cutting me. "That's hardly fair. You've already given me enough; a place to live, a bed to sleep on, food, clothes, what more can I ask for? Besides, I need to pull my weight in the castle too. I've only been here for three years, so I've got a lot to catch up on. It wouldn't be reasonable, Bella, to just blow off my duties. If I don't complete them, I mustn't even bother living here, I wouldn't deserve to. We all have a specific job to do, and we need to do it, no matter how much we don't want to. Besides, I don't even have a favourite food. Just put some food on the table, and I'll eat anything," he said.

"Suite yourself Edward. What time do you have to leave for work, then?" I sighed. Sometimes he could be so difficult.

"I'd best be off soon, I believe that it's already noon. You should come with me and we should have our lunch," he said. I shrugged, how very unladylike like of me. 'Noon time already?' I thought, 'Time passed so quickly with Edward.'

"What are you going to do after that, Edward?" I inquired.

"Probably some more work. I think that guest room needs some more cleaning," he said.

"Can I come too?" I asked eagerly.

"Sure, but it won't be that interesting," he got up, dusted himself off again, and gave me a hand. I got back on Jeluby and we headed home. Edward put Jeluby in the stable and helped me get off of Jeluby. I started to walk out of the stable, but then tripped on something. Before I knew what was happening, Edward was already right in front of me, holding me up. He some how caught me before I even touched the ground. Steadying me, he asked me if I was okay.

"I'm fine," I said, standing up on my own.

"Are you sure Bella? You're not hurt at all? Are you feeling a little faint?" He asked, concerned. I laughed, "I'm okay, I promise. No bruises, not cuts, not a scratch. I feel the same as when I woke up this morning. Don't worry Edward, I'm fine," I reassured him. I smiled and that still didn't convinced him that I was okay.

"Did you skip breakfast again? I don't understand why you do. Think about your health, Bella,"

"No, Edward I didn't. Alice made sure that I ate something before I went to go see you," I explained.

"You mean, you've been missing breakfast every morning because of me?" he questioned in disbelief. I shook my head.

"Of course not. I've been skipping breakfast because I no longer find it necessary, not because of you. I just feel like going to you right away, you know?" I tried to make him feel better. If I told him the truth, he'd never forgive himself. I knew Edward enough not to tell him it was his fault if something bad happened to me. He had such a morbid sense of self worth.

"You're a terrible liar, Bella. But please excuse me, you and I both should have some lunch," I smiled. He excused himself and went to eat his lunch.

I wondered off a bit before going to the kitchen for lunch. After I ate, I went to go look for Edward. He was where he told me he'd be, cleaning the extra room for visitors. I sat on the the bed and watched him clean.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" I wondered aloud.

"Positive," he smirked. "We wouldn't want our Princess Bella to get dirty," he mused. I sighed. He seemed to get a kick out of the fact that I was a Princess. More so, he didn't care what I was, to him, I was still a bratty little kid who followed him around everywhere. One thing was certain though, I needed Edward as much as he needed me. We were friends, we needed each other.

I looked up at the clock and groaned. It was almost 4 o'clock and I had my piano lesson soon. Edward looked up after hearing me groan.

"Is something the matter Bella? Are you hurt from the fall?" his expression grew worried again.

"No, it's just that I have my piano lesson in a few minutes," I told him. Relief flashed across his face and he chuckled.

"Say, will you come to watch me? Will you listen to me play?" I asked. It wouldn't be too bad if Edward was with me, would it? I mean, Edward made everything better.

"I don't know Bella, I still have some work to do..." he trailed off.

"Please?" I urged. "No one will mind, and if they do, I'll tell them it was all my idea! Please Edward? Please? It would mean a lot to me."

"I- I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world if I do... and you seem like you really want me there... sure. Why not?"

"Great!" I smiled, and he smiled his dazzling smile back. Grabbing his hand, I dragged him to the music room where I practiced. The music room was slightly smaller than my bedroom. The south, east and west walls were cream coloured, while the north wall was formed by four large mirrors. Pictures of distant relatives and ancestors who played the piano hung on the wall. A diamond chandelier dangled from the ceiling, and my Grand Piano stood, undisturbed, in the center of the room. I grabbed Edward a seat and made him sit down. Just as I sat down in my chair in front of the piano, Chelsea walked in with one of her fake smiles. Her smile immediately faded once she saw Edward sitting down next to me.

"What is he doing here?" she asked, eyeing him.

"I asked him to listen to me play," I said without emotion.

"But why, Princess?" she asked, confused.

I glared at her with one of my deadly looks and said, "I want him to hear me play. Will this be a problem, Chelsea?"

"Of course not Princess!" she yelled, sounding alarmed. "I guess we should begin. Why don't you play Pachelbel's Canon?" I turned the booklet to the proper sheet music and started to play. I knew Pachelbel's Canon off my heart, it was one of my favourite songs. I watched as Edward's eyes grew bigger and more absorbed into the song. I smiled. I liked being able to surprise Edward. As I hit the last note, Edward looked at me, stunned.

"How did you learn how to play like that?" he asked.

"Well, here of course," I giggled. "Did you like it? Did I sound good?" I asked.

"You were amazing!" he praised.

"Yes, very amazing, Princess! You're doing better and better every time you come!" Chelsea cheered.

"That is it! I must learn to play the piano as well as you!" Edward declared. I snickered.

"Play another one, please," he asked. I started to play Beethoven's Piano Concerto number 5. We spent the rest of the afternoon in the music room, listening to the piano and teaching Edward how to read simple notes. I smiled. Since Edward came, I was no longer alone. I didn't need anyone else to cheer me up when Mother or Father canceled plans. Yes, this was just another day at the Castle.


	6. Governess

**A.N. Heyy everyone! Sorry this is a shorter chapter compared the the rest, but please R&R anyways :P**

* * *

"Mother, Father, you can't be serious!" I screeched in disbelief. I looked at them, searching for any hint of humor. Nothing. I glanced beseechingly at the line of servants until I came across Edward's amber eyes. He briefly shook his head, so quickly that only I noticed.

"Bella, sweetie, this is for your own good," Mother said, nurturing. I shook my head. This wasn't happening.

"She will start this Monday. We called you all here so you could get to know one another. We want you to be prepared for the future, Bella," Mother reasoned.

"But, Mother, what could they possibly teach me that I don't already know?" I asked.

"Manners for one thing," someone hissed. I turned to glare at a beautiful young lady standing stiffly next to my mother's throne. She had strawberry blonde hair tied tightly in a bun at the back of her head, piercing blue eyes and full lips. She wore a dull black dress that ended around her ankles. Her hands were clasped together, holding some sort of whip in between them. Standing next to her was a man who I assumed was her brother. He was as equally beautiful, like a male version of her. Both looked so child like and angelic yet, somehow, there was a red glint in their eyes which made them seem so old and cruel. They reminded me of a Botticelli angel and a gargoyle at the same time. The lady glared back at me.

"What right do you have to speak to me like that? I was not even speaking to you, I was speaking to my Mother and Father, you insignificant little-"

"That's enough, Bella. You hold your tongue young lady," Mother scolded.

"Ah I see she's hot tempered too. My, my, I have a lot to work on," the lady scrutinized.

"Bella, this is Lady Jane and her brother Lord Alec. Lady Jane will be your new governess and both of them will be living her until you are married. From now on, Lady Jane will be teaching you how to act like a proper young lady and raise you to become a charming wife. We have been informed by many of the workers at the castle that you have grown in the habit of stomping, you speak with your mouth full, and you speak like a commoner! Your mother and I aren't very pleased. We have decided that you are growing too old to be acting like this," Father explained.

"Bella, you're almost twelve, honey. In a couple of years, you're going to marry one of the finest Prince's in all the land. You have to start acting like a true Princess, a true Ruler, and a good wife," Mother rationalized.

"But, Mother, why does she have to teach me? Why can't Esme or even Alice train me?" I argued.

"Bella, they are servants, they aren't governesses, you need someone far more superior. They weren't trained to teach you anything about being Royalty. Go one now, Bella. Lady Jane, I leave it in you hands to teach our little girl what is proper and what is not," Father ordered.

"Yes your Highness," Jane and Alec cooed. They bowed and Lady Jane placed her hands on my shoulders, trying to bring me out of the room. I didn't budge. Was it just me, or was the rest of the room spinning?

"Hurry along now, Princess," Jane said in a sickeningly sweet voice. I continued to stand still, clutching my stomach.

"Bella? Bella? Are you okay?" Mother cried. I tried to answer, but my mouth wouldn't open and my mind wasn't working properly. My stomach started twisting and churning and something, I wasn't sure of what, was seeping up my chest. The room continued to spin.

"She's fine, your Majesty, she just needs some time alone. I'm sure she's just overreacting," Lady Jane said when I wasn't answering. She squeezed my shoulders tightly and said, "Come along now, Princess, let's get to know one another." I leaned over to the side where she was still holding on to me, and hurled.

"This is outrageous! Never in my life have I ever been so humiliated! This girl needs to learn some discipline! This is utterly repulsive!" I heard her complain. I heard Edward snicker.

Turning to Edward, she demanded, "Do you think this is funny?"

"No, Lady Jane, but this is all an accident, please don't blame the Princess," he replied curtly.

"I'm so sorry Lady Jane. Alice! Carlisle! " Father called. Alice and Carlisle stepped out of the line of servants. Carlisle and Alice bowed before they said,

"Yes your Majesty?"

"Alice, please take Lady Jane and Lord Alec to their new rooms and help Lady Jane get cleaned up. Carlisle, please get this place cleaned up," Father ordered.

"Yes your Majesty," They bowed and left, Alice taking Lady Jane and Lord Alec with her, and Carlisle looking for something to clean up with.

'Urgh,' I thought, 'The room's still spinning.'

"Bella, honey, are you alright?" Mother asked.

"I uh-" I began. Suddenly, my feet lost grip with the floor, and I blacked out.

When I came to, it was to the sound of something tapping on the glass. I looked around and saw that I was already tucked in my warm bed with a cold, wet cloth on my forehead. The blankets kept me from stirring. I left a hand taking off the cloth and feeling my temperature. I heard the sound of water dripping into a metal bucket. I looked to the left to see Edward twisting the water out of the cloth.

"Bella?" he said when he noticed my head move.

"Edward?" I replied. That's when I remembered what just happened. "Oh Edward," I cried. Was is true? Were my parents so tired of me that they hired someone else to take care of me for them? Was it that they truly loved me enough that they thought this was for my own good, or did they just want someone else to make sure I stayed out of trouble? Tap, tap, tap.

"Shhh, now, don't cry. She's not here right now," Edward hushed. He patted my hand and placed the cloth back on my head. Once I calmed down, he asked,

"How are you feeling Bella?"

"I'm, I'm fine right now," I said. "Edward, what happened to me?"

He chuckled before he answered. "Silly girl, you fainted." I rolled my eyes.

"How long have I been in bed?" I asked.

"It's almost six now, so it's been a little over six hours," he said.

My eyes widened. "Six hours? That long?" Edward nodded. _Tap, tap, tap_

"Are you sure you're feeling well?" he questioned, feeling my forehead again.

"I'm not sure. I feel very warm," I sighed.

"I think you're sick," he stated.

"Hmph," I replied.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked.

"Your Mother and Father are away on business and everyone else is busy doing something else," he responded. _'I see, there'll all too busy to take care of me. What about Edward? Shouldn't he have some other job to do?' _I thought.

"What about you, Edward? Don't you have something else you need to tend to?" I inquired. He shook his head.

"I thought I could skip some of them today. You seemed sick and I didn't really want to leave you. I highly doubted that anyone else would see if you were okay, so I made it my duty to look after you. It's part of my job, anyway," he said. He was so serious all the time, but behind all that, I knew that I worried him. I knew that he cared.

"Thank you, Edward," I remarked.

"It's no big deal," he shrugged. I lay there, letting Edward take care of me, and smiled. He really was a good friend. _Tap, tap, tap_. What was that tapping noise? The silence made me remember that the rain tapping on the window woke me up, which made me remember that with rain comes...

_RUMBLE! RUMBLE! BOOM! BOOM! CRASH! RUMBLE! RUMBLE..._

'Thunder!' I gasped. Fear creeped up my face as I grabbed the blanket and hid under the covers.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" Edward's voice was full of worry.

"N-nothing!" I mumbled from under the covers.

"Then why are you hiding under the covers?" He tried to pull the covers off.

"Bella?" he called, getting frustrated.

_RUMBLE! RUMBLE! BOOM! BOOM! CRASH! RUMBLE! RUMBLE..._

I let out a little shriek.

"What?" Edward asked confused. Then, "Oh, I see now." Gently grabbing the the blanket, he slowly pulled them down. Surrendering, I let him so he could see my face.

"You're afraid of thunder?" he assumed. I blushed. He just found out one of my deepest, darkest secrets! Looking away, I started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh Bella," he said, softly, relief and laughter in his voice. He lifted me up and hugged me. He felt so warm, and I felt so secure in his arms.

"It's ok, Bella. You don't have to worry about thunder, it can't hurt you. Besides, I'm here. I'll never let anything bad hurt you," he promised. _Tap, tap, tap._

_'Edward,' _I thought, as I fell asleep again. I knew that he meant it. I knew that nothing could ever hurt me if Edward was there. Not thunder or anything else.

"Edward," I mumbled before drifting back to sleep.


	7. Goodbye Part 1

**A.N. Okay! So I felt really bad that, the last chapter was so short and... well basically one of the worse chapters in my opinion, so, I wrote another chapter which I'm much happier with. So yeah...Please Enjoy Chapter 7 of Servant Boy. Please R&R too ^_^ (very greatly appreciated!)**

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Time passed faster than I expected it to. I blinked and I was twelve. I blinked and Edward was fourteen. I blinked and I grew up. Lady Jane, although manipulative and strict, taught me well and I started acting the way I was expected to. I learned how to speak French and English fluently and now I was learning how to speak in German. Lord Alec even taught me to play more complex pieces on the piano that challenged me for weeks. I grew out of the habit of following Edward like a little duckling and the more time that passed, the more I missed the way I was.

I missed the days Edward and I spent riding on Jeluby, swinging on the swing and sitting in the middle of our meadow. I missed watching Edward working, trying to understand the words he said, and memorizing his face. I miss him surprising me with his drawings of houses and people, and teaching him how to play the piano. I miss being able to tell him anything and spending as much time as I pleased with him. The castle wasn't empty anymore, but it was definitely lonely again. Without my time with Edward, I was back to where I started.

No matter how busy we were, though, Edward and I always tried our best to see each other. We always planned meetings in our meadow at least once a week; but as those weeks passed, the time we had got more and more limited. One time, we spent over a month without talking. It was hard enough without Lady Jane disapproving me to speak to Edward. She lectured me on and on about how appalling it was to see a Princess talking to a commoner. Whenever she caught the two of us together, she washed my mouth out with soap and slapped Edward. That didn't matter to us, though. Edward and I were friends. We couldn't let Lady Jane stand in the way of our friendship.

Today, Edward and I planned to meet in our meadow after piano and before sunset. I casually strolled down the hall and into the garden. Once I was close enough to the forest, I gave the castle one last glance before I broke off into a sprint. I couldn't believe how much I missed being in the meadow or running like crazy . It seemed like forever since I was able to feel the wind in my hair, my pulse picking up and my heart pumping. It shocked me when I ran out of breath and tripped over a root. I stayed there for a while, and laughed as I slowly breathed in the fresh scent of pine coming off of the trees.

I took one last deep breath and got up. The meadow was just around the corner. Edward was so close that I could run up and hug him again, something I haven't done in so long. The thought of being with Edward once more, made me more eager to see him. Finally, I made it to the meadow. I looked around, heart practically jumping out of my chest, eyes searching, but... no Edward.

_'That's funny,'_ I thought, _'Edward's usually here before I am. He must have gotten side tracked in the castle.'_

I sat down on a stump and waited for Edward. I heard birds chirping in the distance and squirrels quietly chattering up in the trees. Still no Edward. 

* * *

The King was pacing up and down the Throne Room while The Queen, Lady Jane and Lord Alec watched him patiently.

"What should I do?" the King asked. "Billy and I have been fighting since the day I gave away that piece of land I owned to some other poor fellow. He hasn't forgiven me since. I wasn't even aware that he wanted it! What should I do, Renee? You were the one who advised me to finally make amends with him. I offered him peace and he demanded that we give him one of our best servants! If I refuse to give him one of them, then we can't retrieve the peace. But if I agree, we lose one of our best servants and it will seem like their Kingdom raises higher than ours. What are we going to do, Renee?"

"Oh calm down, Charlie. It will all work out fine," Renee said quietly. "We could always offer him something else and if he still insists on one of our servants, we can always pick one. They are servants, Charlie, they live to serve us."

"You're right, Renee, you always are. I must send a letter to Billy right away! Carlisle! write a letter to Billy Black telling him that..." 

* * *

I was working in the kitchen when I looked up at the sky and saw that it was almost sunset. It was time to head over to the meadow to meet Bella. Quickly finishing what was left of the dishes I had to wash, I set my things down and looked for Esme.

"Esme!" I called, "I'm off now!" I told her.

"All right," she yelled after me, "Please be careful, Edward!"

"Aren't I always?" I laughed, something I hadn't done that in a while. Since Lady Jane came, my time with Bella was limited. She was always off learning something useless that she had no interested in. The only times I other times I got to see her, was in the hall. She smiled and I nodded whenever we spotted each other. I missed listening to her laugh, I missed seeing her blush whenever she did something clumsy and tripped over something, but most of all, I missed being able to spend countless hours talking about anything.

I was just out the back door when...

"Edward!" Carlisle called. I felt my face twist into multiple emotions, annoyance and confusion. What could he possible want from me at this hour? I was already late for my meeting with Bella and although I knew she wouldn't get mad, I was sure she wouldn't be very happy that our time was cut short again. Deciding I should get it over and done with, I went to Carlisle who told me I had been called by the King. 

* * *

"He refused?" Charlie screamed at the messenger. "I'm s-sorry your Highness!" the messenger stuttered. "He demands that you give him a servant. He said that we can forget the peace if you cannot repay him for the land he should have owned, your Majesty!"

"Renee, what should I do?" The King wailed.

"Worry not, Charlie. If he wishes for a servant, why not just give him one? We can always buy it back if we really want to. It's such a shame, Billy and you grew up together. It's such a waste of friendship to end it over land, wouldn't you say?" Renee said.

"I- I guess so, Renee, but who? Who should we give him?"

"May I make a suggestion, your Majesty?" Jane asked, stepping closer to the King. He nodded, imploring her to continue.

"We'll I've been watching the Princess for a while now, and I've noticed that she likes spending a lot of time with that servant, Edward... if you ask me, he's interfering with her learning. Every time she comes back from, even just a few minutes with that boy, she starts acting like...well, un-Princess like, not only that, but they treat each other like... like... equals!" she shuddered. "It's very unhealthy for a Princess like her, a girl who has so much power! I mean, she might end up falling in love with him! Sooner or later, she'll wind up marrying him, a lowly servant boy..." Jane trailed off.

"That's preposterous! Our little Bella and Edward? Of course not, they're just... oh... I see. I didn't realize that she actually considered him a _friend_. What do you think, Renee? Should we give him, Edward?"

Renee contemplated the situation again. "Well, Edward is one of our best servants and I don't think he's gotten attached to this place yet since he's only been here for a while, unlike the rest of the other servants... and he does seem to be growing rather fond of our Bella... I suppose it's for the best, really," she said, "Charlie? I'm feeling quite under the weather right now, please excuse me."

"Of course, my dear, go and rest," Charlie said, his voice softened. When Renee left, Charlie sighed._ 'I guess it's time to let Edward go,' _he thought. _'I hope I won't end up regretting this decision.'_ He looked out of the window, almost sunset. It wasn't as if he had a choice, right? He held his breath as he looked at Jane and Alec who smiled back at him, reassuringly.

"Carlisle," he called, "please go and fetch me Edward." 

* * *

As I finally got to the King's throne, the room went silent. The King was slouching in his chair, looking at the floor. He didn't even look at me, the King. Something must be wrong. Whenever he asked me to do something, he always looked me in the eyes and asked curtly. Even though he was a King, he didn't go out of his way to prove it to everyone._ 'What is going on?' _I thought.

I looked beside him, the Queen wasn't there, but Lady Jane and Lord Alec was. I groaned quietly. This couldn't be good, if Jane and Alec were there. Perhaps they told the King that I wasn't doing my job properly? Or that I was spending too much time with Bella, which, I didn't really see the problem with that. Bella needed to lighten up a bit, she was only a child.

"Yes, your Majesty?" I said once I calmed down. He didn't reply. No one said a word, as if they were all holding their breath for something big. "Is something the matter, Your Highness?" I asked. He shook his head, still not saying anything.

"Okay..." I muttered. The King stood up and walked towards me. He put his hands on his shoulders and took a good look at me. I could feel the curiosity fleeting on my face. Couldn't he hurry up? I was keeping Bella waiting.

"Edward..." he began. "You see, Edward, I... have you heard of King Billy?" he asked. What a silly question. Of course I hadn't, I wasn't raised to know all the names of Royalty.

"I'm sorry, your Highness, I haven't..." I said. He sighed. What was going on?

"You see, Edward, a long time ago, King Billy and I were friends, then we grew up and both became Kings. I inherited more land than him, of course, and one day, I gave the tiniest piece of land away to a poor man who needed to provide a home for his family. Well it turned out the Billy wanted that piece of land. He got so mad at me that he stopped talking to me, and we ended up fighting over it. Until now, we are still fighting..." he explained. I didn't understand. Why was this so important? What did this have to do with me?

"I- I see, Sire," I said, still confused.

"Well, you see Edward, we've been fighting until now... Edward, I have a chance to finally put an end to all this nonsense! Isn't that great?"

"Of course, your Majesty... I'm... I'm happy for you?"

"Hah, that's m'boy, Edward!"

"If you don't mind me asking, your Highness, what exactly does King Billy want that I can help with?" I asked, patiently. The King practically fell down.

"Ah Edward. So sharp, aren't you? Well you see..." Urgh, how annoying, he was wasting my time stalling when I could be with Bella right now. What exactly could I give King Billy that was making King Charlie all nervous?

"Yes, Your Highness?" I asked. _'Please hurry up,' _I added in my head.

"Look, Edward. You're fourteen, I shouldn't have to speak to you like a boy when you're almost a man. King Billy wants one of our best servants. We thought that you filled he role perfectly because you haven't been here as long as the other servants and it wouldn't be fair to chase them out of the only home they've ever know. Not only that, but it wouldn't be fair to split up families, and to be honest, Edward... there aren't many people without families, except for you," he said. I stared at him.. He... wanted me... to leave the castle? To leave Bella? How could he possibly ask me to do that?

"Edward, this is a real honor! We think you're one of the greatest servants we've ever had, and you're still so young! Please, Edward, this is the only was we can do to achieve peace with the Blacks!" he begged. The King was begging me. He didn't want me living in the castle. I didn't really have a choice, did I? He was the one who took me in, and if he wanted me out, I should leave. What was the big deal anyway? I just worked here and it wasn't like anyone would miss me. The Princess can make new friends. The Princess is a Princess. I am her servant, and I was getting too close to her anyway. I liked her too much. Maybe this was for the best?

I nodded. The King clapped and cheered. "Thank you, Edward! Thank you! You have until tomorrow morning to pack, we will send you off before dawn." I thought about Bella. Why did even thinking about leaving her, hurt me so much? I looked up at the sky, it was already dark. 

* * *

I felt so stupid. I was sitting on the stump for hours, waiting for Edward to come. He never showed. The birds stopped chirping, the squirrels left, and crickets started coming out. It was cold outside and almost dark. Why did it matter so much, if he didn't show? He probably had other things to do that interfered. It wasn't his fault. But why, why did I have some sort of weird feeling in me? I felt... rejected? But why? Edward was just my friend, wasn't he? My best friend yes, but... why did I feel like this? I stood up and trudged home.

When we made plans today, why did I feel so happy? Why was it all I could think about all day? When I came and saw that he hadn't arrive yet, why did I feel so sad? Why am I always so impatient when it comes to him? Why does just seeing him, affect me so much? Why does talking to him, make me smile? When he didn't show up today, why did I start crying? I don't understand. Why am I crying _right now_?

Why did I like it so much when he promised me something? Why did it hurt so much when he didn't keep this one promise? Why do I like making him look at me, pay attention to me, talk to me, or spend time with me? Why did I like hugging him so much? Or laughing with him? Why did I cherish the swing he made me when I was seven? Or the picture he drew for me when I turned eight? Why, _why_, **WHY**? It didn't add up. If Edward was just a friend to me, why did do I need him so much to keep me happy? Why did I like him so much? Why can't I get enough of him? Why do I miss him the second he leaves me? Unless of course... I liked Edward more than I thought... more than I wanted to... more than I planned.

By the time I realized that I was at my room, Edward was standing in front of me. He looked at me with pleading eyes. I knew that he wanted to tell me something.

"Bella-" he started. "Bella, I'm sorry I didn't come, I- something came up. Bella, can I speak to you in private?"

"Maybe tomorrow, Edward. I'm tired..."

"I don't have until tomorrow, Bella," he said.

"What? Of course you do, Edward. I'll see you in the morning. Right now, I have to think," I walked into my room and closed the door. I quickly undressed, put on my night gown, and plopped down on my bed. Why did talking to him make me feel so much better?

"Bella?" he yelled through the door. "Bella! Please open the door," he begged. Pretending not to hear him, I continued to lie down on my bed. He sounded so worried, that it worried me. Oh how much I wanted to open the door and go and give him a hug.

"Bella, Bella please?" I knew Edward enough to know that he wouldn't give up anytime soon, so I closed my eyes and went to sleep. Whatever Edward wanted to tell me could wait until morning, couldn't it? I couldn't help but shake this feeling I had inside; but I was confused. There's not way I would feel like this if I didn't like Edward more than a friend, right? But then... does that mean that I liked Edward?

"Go away Edward!" I yelled. That did it. I heard him cuss under her breath, as he muttered, "Goodbye, Bella," and ran off.


	8. Goodbye Part 2

_**It was a starry night at the castle. The sky was clear and black as midnight. There were no clouds found over the stretch of darkness. The only things illuminating the sky were the full moon and stars, which seemed to shine brighter than ever before. It was as if this was their way of sending me off, their way of saying goodbye. I strolled along the Royal Garden's path- wait, why was I in the garden at night? That didn't make any sense. I usually went right to bed afterI finished all my chores around the castle. What is going on? Part of me kept wondering, while the other half didn't care. I heard noisy crickets chirping and loud frogs croaking and - what was that? Is someone crying? Someone is! Why did this sound so familiar?**_

_**I followed the sound until I reached the dock, extending over the Castle's rather deep pond. There she was standing on the edge of the dock and staring at the moon with a look of longing burning in her eyes. She didn't notice me as I approached her. The moon's beam glistened over the water and reflected light on to her face. She looked slightly older than I remembered, with longer, darker hair and her face hard with pain, yet at the same time, she was so thin and frail looking. I could see the trail of dry tears running down her pale face. She had been the one crying. **_

_**Motioning closer, I reached out to touch her. She looked like she was so desperate to rid all the pain. "Bella?" I called in nothing more than a whisper. No response. She just continued to gaze blankly at the moon. She clasped her hands tightly together on her chest while a new set of tears began to fall. I was about grab her and demand from her what was wrong, when-**_

_**"Edward," she sighed. I stared, transfixed as she spoke my name. She was crying for me? Why? What happened?**_

_**"Edward," she murmured again, "Edward...Edward..."**_

"Edward, wake up, son," Carlisle said. "Edward, you have to get up and eat. You've got a long journey ahead of you, and you have to sustain yourself. Besides, if right now is our last moment together, I would much rather have it with you actually listening and well... awake," he said.__

'Ah, I remember now. This morning, I have to leave for King Billy's Castle,' I thought.

"You know Edward...you don't have to do this. The King wouldn't mind if you stayed..." That was it. I stirred under the covers before getting up, and giving Carlisle a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about me, Carlisle. You have the rest of your family to look after, I'm not part of that job. I will be fine. King Charlie wants me to go, and since it was him who gave me the home, only he can take it away from me. I owe him for giving me a place to stay. Before the castle, I had nothing, and so I'm grateful that I received everything I needed. Even now when I am supposed to leave, I'll still have a place to live in, food to eat, and a roof over my head. What more can I ask for? " I said. Carlisle shook his head in agreement. He understood how lost I was before and how lucky I was to get a second chance.

"Still so young and yet, already so mature. King Billy's castle will welcome you with open arms. Come along now, get dressed and then we'll all have breakfast together. Esme and the kids are preparing food for you as we speak. A carriage will arrive for you in an hour. It's still dark out and most of the servants aren't up yet, so it's best if you keep quiet. Oh, and Edward," he said just as he was leaving the room. "I think it's best if you don't take a detour to the Princess' room," he warned. I nodded. Bella was so upset last night that she didn't wish to speak to me. A weird feeling twisted through me, as I thought about leaving without seeing Bella for one last time. I hurriedly put on some clothes and headed to the Kitchen.

_'My last time entering these doors, the last time I'll eat with Carlisle and the others,' _I thought, as I slowly opened the Kitchen doors.

"Edward!" Alice chimed. She gave me a radiant smile and rushed over to hug me.

"Edward?" Esme asked, as she looked at me with anxious eyes. She took a step towards me and put her hands on my shoulders. "You don't have to go, Edward," she whispered. It pained me to see her sad over my departure. I shook my head, no. She laughed and hugged me too.

"Edward," Jasper and Emmett greeted warmly.

"Jasper, Emmett," I replied, then turning to Rosalie, "Rose." She smiled curtly and walked over to give me a hug.

"I'll miss you, Edward," she said.

"What the hey! Come here, Edward!" Emmett boomed, giving me a one arm hug. They all looked at me for a while. None of them knew what to say, and all of them knew that they couldn't talk me out of it. I had made a decision, and I'd stick to it... no matter how much it hurt me to leave them.

"I think it's time to eat now," Jasper spoke through the silence. He and I waited until the rest of them sat in their places around the table before turning back to me.

"Edward..." he hesitated.

"I won't hear of it, Jasper," I interrupted.

"But Edward, think about how the Princess will feel when she finds out you're not living here anymore. She'll never forgive us for just letting you go without even telling her. Think about it, Edward. Think about- about- us! We'll all miss you Edward. You're like a part of our family now," Jasper said. _'Part of the family?' _I smiled. He was right. I considered all of them my new family.

Carlisle was witty and taught me everything I knew. He was there for me whenever I needed help. He was the first servant I met at the castle and he gladly took me in as an apprentice. He became the person I looked up to and the person I turned to when I needed guidance. Esme was always so warm and loving. She reminded me a lot much of my mother, always smiling. She was kind to me all the time, and when I first came to the castle five years ago, she took care of me. I had someone to care for me. They were like my new adoptive mother and father. The father I never had, and the mother I have always missed.

Even Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie came close to me and acted like my siblings. They were constantly around me whenever Bella wasn't there. They treated me like the little brother, their annoying little smart mouth brother that knew a little too much. I grew to love all of them, and somehow, they grew to love me. Jasper was right, we were a family; but I still had orders to obey, and I wasn't going let my weakness for them stop me.

"I can't Jasper..." I stated.

"Can't you at least think about it, Edward? No one is stopping you from saying no, not even King Billy, and even if did, the King wouldn't let him get near you. You can stay with us, Edward, and we can all continue with our lives as if this never happened. Think about Esme, she feels like she's losing a child! " he explained.

"Jasper, I've already made up my mind," I replied. He shook his head and gave me a worried half smile. "Hard headed as always, aren't we?" he asked. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said, "Let's go, then. The others are waiting for you to be seated," He led me to the table. I looked at my new found family and smiled. I knew that I was going to miss them, but I also knew that they were better off without me. They survived nine years before I came to the castle, and now they'll survive the rest of their life without me.

We spent the remainder of the time we had, eating and talking. I knew I was going to miss this, the warm castle with huge wooden doors and colorful rooms. I was going to miss the sweet smelling flowers and the meadow. I was going to miss the pond and the rest of the garden, and everything else in the castle. I was going to miss...

'Bella,' I felt my insides turned as I thought about her. Her pretty smile, her deep, chocolate eyes and her wonderful laugh. I'd miss her following me and watching me work. I'd miss making plans to go to the meadow before sunset, and I'd miss listening to her playing the piano. I'd miss her stories and those frequent blushes of hers. I'd miss Bella, and I knew it. I felt so eager to just walk to her room and bid her goodbye. I was practically squirming in my seat, to see her for one last time before I left.

The doors opened again and three men wearing all different shades of brown marched into the room. As they approached, I realized whi they were and why they were here.

"Edward Cullen?" A man in almost black said. I stood up.

"I am Sam and I have come as a representative from King Billy's Palace. You are the one they have chosen to work at the castle?" I nodded. "Very well then, grab your things and let's go," he said bored. I followed him and the other two men outside to the entrance of the castle. Carlisle and the rest of his family went along too.

As we reached the carriage, I turned around and said,

"Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, I love you all. I'll never forget you." They all crowded around me as they gave me hugs and said their finaly goodbye.

"Goodbye, Edward, my son," Carlisle said. I gave them all one last smile and looked all of them in the eye before I loaded myself into the carriage. Without turning back I settled myself in the carriage as it left, leaving the castle, my family, and Bella behind.


	9. Alone Part 1

**A.N. Hi everyone! Can you believe it? We're almost at chapter 10! :O which is much longer than what I thought this story to be. anyway, please R&R and enjoy Chapter 9 of Servant boy! ^.^**

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**Chapter 9: Alone**

I wasn't quite aware of the time passing as we travelled to King Billy's Castle. This was the first time I'd ever ridden in a carriage. It was small and musty, the seats were rather stiff and covered in red fabric. The windows were sealed shut. I couldn't hear much; just the sound of the wheels turning, the motion of which I could feel underneath my feet. The way the wheels kept spinning round and round reminded me of an everlasting change. Even if there was a little bump here and there, it went back to the way it was; spinning again. It seemed to pass so subtlety without much change, and yet so much had occured within that second. It was an endless cycle of undying change. I had never before noticed how my life seemed to follow the same sort of cycle. It was always exactly the same.

There was no one else in the carriage with me, just my little bag I had filled with clothing. I was alone once again, just like I used to be.

Why? I wasn't sure. But I know that I was destined to be alone, to start loving and almost trusting someone and wind up saying goodbye to them. I guess it just makes me who I am now. I can't change it. Carlisle and the others were wrong, though. I had to go. I was fated to leave. The Swan Castle isn't my home and it isn't the place where I'm supposed to be- not if I'm sitting in this carriage right now, heading off to live somewhere else. Things happen for a reason. I guess the reason is still unknown at the moment, but it's helping me realize that I have to toughen up. I had begun to care for all of them more than I needed to. I had begun to love Bella. No! I couldn't think like that. I had grown too attached, and too open with her, maybe, but I could not let myself admit to loving her. That could never be. I could never let my guard down. The last time I did that, my mother passed away... the last time I did that, I found myself even more alone.

My stomach grumbled, and I realized that it must be around lunch time. I sighed. I knew I had forgotten something when I was packing: food. The more I thought about it, the hungrier I got. I briefly glanced at my bag, hoping that I somehow forgot that I had packed my bag with food. There was a very small chance of that happening, but it was worth a try. I reached for my bag which was a simple, small, black bag with little pockets and threads coming loose. If I didn't find anything to eat, it wouldn't really matter. I had gone longer without food. Remembering that made me think of the castle, which made me think of the others. I hoped they continued to on with their life exactly as before. They needn't burden themselves because of me. What was I thinking? Of course they were all right; they still had each other. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie still all had Carlisle's patience and Esme's cooking...

I grinned while I remembered Esme and all the food she used to make. She was always doing her best, trying her hardest, and always trying to making things perfect. I remember she used to remind me all the time to eat before I did anything else. She told me how food gives me strength. How, if I didn't eat, I'd get nothing done. She used to scold me for working 'too hard for a little boy.' I thought that she should have listened to her own advice. All of them worked too hard, harder than any other family in the castle. It was devastating- I missed Esme's cooking already. I could almost smell it...

With a jolt, I realized that I actually could smell it. My imagination must have been running too wild for its own good; my mind going far too deep in my memories. I thought I could actually smell the scent of food coming from my backpack! I looked at my bag once more, and noticed a big bump in the side pocket. How had I missed that the first time? Was I imagining it? I sniffed the lump in my bag. It smelled so good... it smelled like the scones Esme always made for everyone. I ripped the bag open and dumped it out. I smiled to see that I now held four scones, wrapped in a white handkerchief. It was too good to be true. I dug right in, not caring how it had actually gotten in my bag. I took a bite out of the scone, my mouth savouring the flavour. I was saved!

As I finished eating, I saw a note slip out of the handkerchief. It was scrawled in black ink, and it was apparent that who ever wrote it had been in a rush. I squinted to read the messy writing.

_Dear Edward,_

_I hope you find this before you get hungry. I'm sorry, I know that it's not much, but it was all I could make that could be stuffed in this tiny bag of yours. It should still be enough to get you to the other castle, so at least it will keep you going until you get there. I hope you're doing well right now. Remember not to stay up too late, and to eat a heavy breakfast to start the day. Be good to the other servants, work hard, and most importantly, take care of yourself. I haven't had the chance to know you very well, Edward, but the parts of you I have met are wonderful. I'll miss you so much. Please, what ever you do, don't forget us. We will never forget you. Please do try your best to come back to us, Edward. You'll always have a spot in our family._

_Love,  
Esme _

_P.S. _

_I hope you enjoy the food. I made it this morning, so it might be cold by the time you eat it. It's still good though, isn't it?_

I laughed as I read the note over for the fifth time. Esme was so worried about me. I knew they were going to be fine, all of them. They didn't need me there, but it was nice to know that I'd always have a place with them in their family, should I ever need one. I missed them, but I was sure that they were all okay. I had no regrets leaving the castle. It was meant to be, was it not? I just couldn't help but hope that they would miss me, even just a little bit. Other than that no one there needed me enough for me to stay. No one's world would change drastically if I went away. None of them needed me that much.

But then... I remembered a little girl tripping over her own two feet, a very noticeable blush spreading on her face, deep chocolate brown eyes that always searched through mine, and a shy smile. Someone who was alone, like me. Who's mother and father were there, but didn't have enough time for her. I wasn't sure what was worse. Not having parents, or having parents that were always 'too busy'? It must have been hard for her growing up. She seemed like she needed me, like she would be lost without me. Was I just hoping that she did? Or did she actually feel that way towards me?_ 'Bella,' _I thought. _'What you're doing right now?'_

She was probably trying to skip her lunch by now, pretending not to be hungry, though she was already starving. I hope someone else was taking better care of her now. She had Jane there anyway, to make sure she doesn't do something stupid and reckless... but then again, Jane wasn't very kind. She didn't really care if Bella got hurt, she only cared enough to scold her to take better care of herself. If I knew anything, she was probably teaching Bella how to walk with books stacked on her head. What if Bella got hurt, though? Alice was there for her, too, so she wasn't alone. But Alice had other chores around the castle to do. What if she got hurt when no one else was watching her? I knew in my heart that I didn't trust anyone else to protect Bella, other than myself. She was so fragile, clumsy and always seemed to get herself in trouble. She needed me to protect her.

Then why did I leave? What was the real reason I felt I the need to go, if I knew that she needed me that much? Why would I leave her if she needs me as much as I need her? Maybe that was why, because I need her. I can't need her, she's just a child. She doesn't return the feelings I feel for her. Wait, I have feelings for her? Even more reason not to go back. This wasn't right. I had to cast my feelings aside. I am going to start living in King Billy's Castle now. My past can't matter to me anymore. I have to grow up.

Before I knew it, it was twilight and the carriage came to a halt infront of a enormous castle. This castle was slightly smaller than the one I was used to, but instead of the grand, red and white castle that belonged to the Swans, this castle was a a dull grey that reached out to the sky.

"You can get out now, kid," a gruff voice demanded. I shrugged and obeyed, hoping out of the castle. The men led me to another throne room with a short, black haired man sitting promptly in his chair. The chair next to him was empty and looked like no one had sat on it for years. The men all bowed and nudged me to do the same. I followed them as my new King spoke.

"This is he, correct? The servant Charlie has given me? Why, he's only a child!" he bellowed.

"There is no mistake, your highness. King Charlie says that he's one of the greatest servants they've ever had," the man in all black said.

"I see. Well, Sam, make sure he sees the Clearwaters. One of them can train him," Billy said.

"Yes, your Highness," the man, Sam, bowed.

"He will start from the bottom, as a dish washer, he can't mess up at washing dishes. If he's lucky, and is as good as they say, he'll end up serving one of us," he said. Then, turning to me, he yelled, "Go on now! Dinner is almost ready, boy. Sam, might as well give him some food, he's probably famished from the way here."

"Yes Sire," Sam replied. "Come, Boy," he called, and I followed him as he lead me down the narrow hallway. I was back to where I started, back to being alone.


	10. Alone Part 2

**A.N. Heyy! Just the usual... please Read and Review! ^_^ it makes me happy hehehe! Enjoy Chapter 10 of Servant boy... oh! And please enjoy my poem (all copy rights to ME! aha :D ) Thanks you guys... Happy Tenth Chapter-versery :)**

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I stared at the wall for hours before I finally fell asleep. The same thoughts occurred in my head throughout the entire night I was awake. Why did it matter so much if Edward broke one, silly little promise? Why was it that everything I did revolved around him? Why does a simple little smile make me want to smile back? It didn't make any sense to me. Edward was my friend, I knew that much, but why is it that I need him more than I needed anyone else? Could it be that I liked Edward more than I thought I did?

When my eyes fluttered open, and I realized I was awake, I didn't move. I stayed there, laying stilly in my bed. I listened to my own light breathing and the ticking of the clock, hanging on my wall. The sun was already up and shining brilliantly in the sky. The rays of sunshine, peaking through the trees, shone through my window. The light created shapes, covering my walls. There was no sign of movement for miles except for my chest, slowly rising then, gently falling. The usual sound of the larks, chirping off in the distance could be heard, but other than that, silence.

I continued to think about what happened last night. Edward was the only one who could make me laugh without even trying. He made me feel like I could do anything I set my mind to. He was the only one who treated me like a real person, and nothing else. He didn't care that I was a Princess, he only cared about the soul behind the name. He was the first person who watched over me like he truly cared about me. He's the reason I get up in the morning, and the only reason I have to keep going in a place filled with so many fake smiles.

Was this how I really felt about Edward? Yes. This is what Edward meant to me, but did that mean that... I like Edward? There was a little intake of breath, as my eyes widened to the truth. I did. I like Edward. Was this what I was trying to tell myself all along?

I sighed. It took me a whole night to figure out what I felt about him, and I was still back to where I started. More unanswered questions pouring into my mind. Well, what now? Does he feel the same way about me? What if he did? What if he didn't? Do I even want him to like me back? What about our friendship? Will father agree to this? He is just a servant boy, after all. Wait a second, why does it matter if father agrees to him? It wasn't as if I planned to spent the rest of my life with Edward, did I? Should I tell him how I feel? How will he react? How do I tell him?

I laughed as I saw a little vision of what I thought would happen in my head. I would just run to his room, knock on his door and demand for him to wake up. Then, I would apologize for ignoring him last night and then say tell him what I needed to think about. I would simply confess how I feel and wait patiently for his reply. His face would probably twist into several emotions and then finally set on a frown. Then, he would ask me to 'Be serious, Bella.'

Why was it that those four, plain little words, were so hard to say? I supposed that Edward wouldn't mind if I told him like that, but for once, I wasn't positive. I wasn't sure how to act, but I knew that I should tell him. I've never felt like this before, it was so brand new. It was as if every emotion I had before was raw and ten times more sensitive. I felt like a new person. I knew I had to do it. I practically leaped out of bed as I suddenly had the urge to see Edward. Not even bothering to get dress, I quickly pushed the door open and sprinted off to Edward's room.

No one stopped me as I was running down the halls. In fact, I didn't encounter anyone. The hallways were eerily quiet. What was going on? Where was everyone? Why was my heart beating ten times faster than it usually did? Why was my pulse quickening or a blush flushing my cheeks? Why did I feel some sense of dread as I approached Edward's door?

Stopping a few feet before Edward's room, I tried to calm my nerves down and catch my breath. _'I can do this_,' I chanted in my head. Taking one last deep breath, I knocked on his door.

"Edward?" I called, a hint of nervousness clear in my voice. There was no answer. Gaining some more confidence, I barged into his room. It was dead silent. Glancing around, I saw that no one was there. I stepped through the doorway and continued to look around. I noticed that the bed was already made, the windows shut tightly. His closet was bare, not that he had many clothes, but there was nothing left in the little space. Not only that, but the room seemed deserted and cold, something I wasn't used to when I was around Edward. 'Maybe he's already working, it is past noon anyway,' I thought. It didn't explain why all his clothes weren't there, but there was probably a reasonable explanation for that too.

Dejectedly, I turned around and walked out the door. Then I wandered around the castle, looking for Edward at his usual places; the garden, the kitchen, the music rooms, but there was no sign of him anywhere.

"Princess?" A fretful, high-pitched voice asked. I turned around to see Alice, looking at me with an anxious expression.

"Are you looking for something?" she asked. She already knew the answer, even before I turned around to look at her. I gave her a shy smile and nodded politely.

"I'm looking for Edward. I haven't seen him all day, have you?" I questioned. Another anxious glance. She shook her head.

"I haven't seen him since this morning," she replied.

"Oh." I said, disappointed. "Do you know where he is? I have something very important to tell him," I informed her. Alice started looked at me with great concern. Her brows furrowed and she looked nervous. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, then quickly closed it. I glared at her with impatient eyes. She was keeping something from me. Something must have been wrong if Alice was not telling me what it was.

"What is it Alice? Did something happen to Edward? Is he hurt?" I demanded.

"No he's-he's fine, Princess..." she stuttered.

"Then what is it, Alice?" I asked.

"I-I, Princess, I-" she started, but then promptly shut her mouth again. I suppressed a groan.

"If you aren't going to tell me Alice, then I'll just ask Carlisle," I said, more sharply than I intended to. I marched back inside the castle, to the kitchen, the last place I saw Carlisle. Alice followed me inside, trying to distract me. Luckily, Carlisle was there, helping Esme peel some potatoes for tonight. Jasper was cutting the potatoes, while Emmett and Rosalie were washing the dishes. Other servants were there, too, but I only paid attention to Carlisle and his family. As I entered the kitchen, everyone stopped what they were doing and bowed.

"Carlisle," I said immediately, after they all stood up and went back to what they were doing.

"Yes Princess?" Carlisle asked sincerely.

"Where is Edward?" I demanded. Frozen silence. Alice let out a little gasp from behind me. Esme looked choked, my question seemed to have troubled her. Jasper accidentally dropped his knife and quickly picked it up again. Emmett and Rosalie stopped their little chatter and quickly glanced at each other. Carlisle looked perplexed. I have never seen him so distressed. His eyes looked sad and frantic.

"Princess," he said, taking a step toward me. I encouraged him to continue. He unconsciously began shaking his head.

"Do you remember King Billy, Princess?" he asked.

Puzzled, I said, "Of course. He used to be one of Father's closest friends until they had that fight."

"Yes, all because of a childish fight," Carlisle said. It was childish, it was only a matter of land, wasn't it?

"I don't understand, Carlisle. Please explain what this has to do with Edward." I pleaded. I stared intently at Carlisle, waiting for him to speak. He said.

"Princess," Jasper said, "King Billy and your father have finally made peace, they have called a truce on all this none sense. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Yes, yes, it is, but what does this have to do with Edward?" I asked, annoyed. None of them were answering my question. They all exchanged awkward glances.

"You see, King Billy and your father have been friends for so long, and your father wrote a letter to King Billy, asking for his forgiveness. King Billy quickly responded and said that he would forgive him, only if... well... if your father give something in return, a sign of peace..." Jasper said.

"What was it?" I questioned.

"A-a servant, Princess," Carlisle declared.

"A- a what?" I cried in a different tone.

"Princess, we tried our best to convince him not to go. We told him that another servant could take his place, but he wouldn't listen. Your father thought that he was best for the job because he was one of the castle's best servants and he didn't have a family to leave behind if he left, so it wouldn't matter," Jasper reasoned. I started to shake uncontrollably.

"And...he's never coming back?" I all looked at each other.

Without a second of hesitation, I ran out of the room, leaving the voices trailing after me. I ran as fast as I could to the meadow, where no one else could find me. When I reached it, I sat in the middle curled myself into a ball. My world stopped spinning. I felt like everything was falling apart and I couldn't do anything about it. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest that I couldn't breathe. It hurt so much. I felt this feeling of worthlessness and waves of sadness washed through me. I couldn't move. Tears kept falling as lay there. I stayed there, sobbing my heart out. I remembered a song Mother used to sing. She said it was one of her favourites when she was younger.

_The last time I saw your eyes shine  
Was the last chance I to ask you if you could be mine  
Suddenly I woke up, the day you moved away  
And I cried and pleaded, praying you could stay  
'Cause I never got to tell you how much I really care  
Now every time I turn around, I keep wishing you were there  
And I never got the nerve to say, I bet you never knew  
I lost my chance to tell you this, but I'm in love with you_

I finally understood that song. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that I wasn't able to say goodbye, or the fact that I never got to tell him?

_The day you moved away, I felt so alone  
I remember it so clearly, my heart turned to stone  
'Cause I never got to tell you how much I really care  
Now every time I turn around, I keep wishing you were there  
And I never got the nerve to say, I bet you never knew  
I lost my chance to tell you this, but I'm in love with you_

_Can a broken heart keep beating, although it's dead inside?  
I hold my breath, but know the truth, with each and every stride  
'Cause I never got to tell you how much I really care  
Now every time I turn around, I keep wishing you were there  
And I never got the nerve to say, I bet you never knew  
I lost my chance to tell you this, but I'm in love with you_

My eyelids started to grow heavy and I drifted to sleep.

_**I was running, why? I don't remember why, but I had to run because if I didn't, I would feel the pain again. I would rather feel nothing than feel the piercing pain I felt a while ago. I just couldn't stand it. I felt like there was a hole, growing bigger and bigger every time I stopped moving. The darkness consumed me and swallowed me up until there was nothing left. I was empty. **_

_**Suddenly, I was standing in the middle of the meadow again. Or, was it even the meadow? Instead of the usual, happy and sweet smelling meadow filled with wild flowers and sunshine, the meadow was just dead grass, blowing in the wind. It was foggy and clouds covered the night sky, hiding any sign of the moon or stars and completely surrounding me with darkness. The ground was wet, dew drops falling on my cold, bare feet. Harsh, urgent winds whipped my hair from side to side, leaving me cold, inside and out. I was completely alone in darkness. No one was going to save me now. **_

_**Everywhere I looked, everywhere I ran, the meadow stretched farther. My lungs felt as if they were about to burst from all the running I was doing. Finally, I stopped, and gave up. I screamed but no one could hear me, the darkness absorbed all the sound that came from my mouth. I fell back to the ground, curled back into a ball, and continued to cry. I continued to feel the hurt I had felt before. To feel the gaping hole continue to expand. I continued to be alone. **_


	11. Missing

**A.N. Ohh my. So, so, so, so, SOOOOO Sorry that I haven't updated in such a long a time... It's my fault, really... I should keep a better eye on my Editor next time... make sure she actually proof reads my work before hand! Thank you to all those who are still with me and are still reading my story! :) please R&&R ^,^**

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"Edward, wake up, we're late!" an urgent, husky voice called from the corner of the room. I woke up to the sound of rustling and someone muttering harshly under their breath. I slowly opened my eyes, trying to regain consciousness. Jerking my head forward, I searched the room for the the owner of the voice. A hefty looking figure was hectically running around on the other side of the room. I waited for him to stop mumbling and calm down before I yawned and asked,

"Again?"

"Yes. We have to hurry up," the voice spoke again. Finally awake, I recognized the voice to be Seth's. Seth Clearwater was the son of one of the kitchen staff in the castle. He was short for a sixteen year old, slightly taller than me, with olive toned skin and crazy, all over the place black hair. His father, Harry, had died just recently, and his mother and older sister, Leah, were still getting used to his absence. Seth was a good kid; obedient, patient, and caring, three things that aren't very common in most servants. Although he was was almost considered an adult, he still had a childish sense of humour, laughing and cracking jokes whenever he had the chance.

Living at King Billy's Castle wasn't that much different from living at the Swan's Castle. The biggest difference was that the servants were to share rooms. Usually, it was family member with family member, so Leah and her mom shared a room, while Seth and his dad used live together. Since Harry died, Seth was short a room mate, and since there was no other open rooms, I moved in. From the first day Seth and I met, we became fast friends. At first, I assumed that he was depressed or stuck up; someone who shuts himself out from the rest of the world. But when he entered the room and saw me unpacking, he grinned at me and extended his hand. Accepting his gesture, I shook his hand and he laughed.

"The name's Seth, Seth Clearwater," he said.

"Edward Cullen," I replied.

"Well Edward, I guess you have the joy of becoming the next person to witness my extreme untidiness and questionable sense of humour," he smiled, and I smiled along with him. We spent the rest of the night talking about each other, our pet peeves, likes and dislikes, and I soon realized how affected he was with his dad gone. He got quiet whenever we mentioned family members, and then quickly cheered back up again, as if nothing ever happened.

Our room was a pale blue colour, with the scent of pine wood, almost like a forest. It was fairly large, with two puffy, straw thick mattresses lying on the floor; one belonging to me and the other one for Seth, each one covered by a thick feather duvet and a faded patchwork quilt. It was simple, but comfortable, and it now almost felt like home.

Before getting up and getting ready to leave, I took one last glance at my new room before remembering my old room at Charlie's Castle. Of course I didn't mind sharing a room, considering I had a nice room mate- I was grateful for even getting a room in the first place. I still had the feeling, though, that something was missing.

I still had the hope that someone would barge in at any moment, smiling at me, and asking me what my plans for the day were. I felt like I was forgetting something, like a chunk of meaning in my life was missing from my world, a piece of my old self. There was no denying the fact- that I missed Bella. I knew that part of my heart would forever ache for her- the hole her absence made seemed to be permanent. I knew I should never have opened myself up to this vulnerability, but when I realized where my feelings were, it was too late. What's done was done, and now I was reaping the consequences.

Seth waited for me impatiently as I paced up and down the room, grabbing other items of clothing. After I was done changing, he elbowed me to go, and we sprinted to the kitchen to eat.

"You're late again boys," Leah said, her voice monotonous.

"Yeah, sorry about that Leah," I said.

"What ever... your food is on the table. You better hurry up because Prince Jacob wants to ride his horse today. You have about five minutes before he's finished dressing," Leah warned.

We went to the table where there was a plate of eggs and bread. Seth and I gulped down our eggs and ran to the stable to fix up Lightning.

After a couple of weeks doing various tasks, and accomplishing them exceptionally well, I got promoted to one of the Loyalty. The King was so pleased by my work, that because I enjoyed the farm and gardening work so much, I was allowed to continue doing it. Most of the time, when I was working side by side with Seth on the barn work, or Leah and her mom in the kitchen, I was perfectly fine. I didn't think of the other castle, or the people who were still hoping for me to change my mind and return home. But when I was alone doing some other task, I often thought about the others and wondered how they were getting along without me.

As time passed, I started to think of them less and less, but I couldn't help but have this feeling inside me; this hope. I couldn't help but wish for myself to return to my adopted family. I couldn't help but wonder if I would still be welcome to my old home. I couldn't help but remember the bed I used to sleep in, or the people I used to be with. Seth was a great companion, but there were shoes that he couldn't fill. He couldn't replace Carlisle's teachings or Esme's warm embraces. What's more, he couldn't replace the friends that I had already made. He especially couldn't replace Bella.

When I was by myself or just relaxing after I finished all my chores, all sorts of thoughts invaded my head, and all different feelings rushed through me. I missed my old life, but I tried my best to set that aside and focus of the life I had now. Every now and then, I would remember something. There was this nagging feeling whenever I groomed Lightning, or heard the sound of the piano, or even just looked up at the sky. It washed through me, as if I was forgetting something, or someone important. Whenever there was a swing, or when someone laughed, even the sound of birds chirping, I remembered. When I looked at people in the face, a certain pair of chocolate brown eyes would appear, and I would remember Bella.

It was a strange thing, missing Bella. I didn't miss her like I missed Esme, Alice or Rosalie. At first I thought that it was because I loved Esme like a mother, and Alice and Rosalie like older sisters, while Bella was younger and more like a little one. But as I started to imagine all of them growing up without me, and marrying someone else, I had different feelings.

Imagining Bella with another man made me feel a pang of jealousy. I felt envy toward this unknown figure, and without even knowing him, I knew he wouldn't be good enough for her. Who ever he was, he didn't deserve Bella, he couldn't protect her or make her happy, and he could never love her more than I already did.

That was it though, wasn't it? I loved Bella, not just as a sister or a friend anymore; I loved her more than that. More than she would ever know. The next few months were almost unbearable because I knew that I would never be able to hear her laugh or see smile again. The times I was so used to spending with her by my side, seemed to drown out all the sad times I have experienced in the past. I would never be able to see her again, to tell her I was sorry for not showing up, or to say my goodbye. In a few months, or if I'm lucky and she misses me too, a few years, she will forget about me; and I'll be no more than a servant boy who once lived in her home. She would probably grow up and have a family of her own.

I too, would grow up and forget about her too, wouldn't I? Or was that something impossible to do? I knew part of me would always ache for her, but that doesn't mean I couldn't move on and marry someone else, does it? It was odd, but I could not accept loving another, not when I cared for her as much as this. It wouldn't be fair to my wife-to-be if I didn't love her even a little of what I loved Bella. I would vow never to love another, so as long as Bella doesn't love someone else.

If she in fact fell in love with someone else, I would easily step aside. Although I know that this person will not deserve her, she deserves her own happiness, doesn't she? She deserves to be happy with who ever can make her happy. If someone could make her smile, who am I to stop that smile for my own selfish reasons?

"Edward, is something wrong?" Seth asked, looking concerned, as he lead Lighting out of her stall, and tied her lead rope to a metal ring on the wall.

"No," I answered. "Does it look like something is wrong?" I asked, confused. I got to work grooming her, while Seth went to get the saddle.

"No, not really. You just seem to be deep in thought. You always seem to be thinking hard about something and I was wondering if I could help you with it," he said. I laughed nervously.

"Don't worry, Seth, it's nothing," I shook it off. He nodded and went right back to work. Working together, it only took a few minuites to get her ready- the girth tightened, bridle on, and coat gleaming in the mid morning sunshine.

"Well, I'm done my part, Seth. I'm off to help with the garden. Call me if you need anything," I said before I stepped out of the barn. I passed by Prince Jacob, who was heading towards the stable and I was forced to bow at his presence. Prince Jacob didn't even look at me, as he waved me off. Jacob wasn't anything like Bella. He treated his servants, strictly as servants, but I assume that most Loyalty do. Bella was the only one who cared enough to treat people like people. I'm sure that Jacob wasn't really a bad person, but he had little disregard for anyone below him.

As soon as Prince Jacob dismissed me, I slowly walked to the opposite side of the barn where the garden was, and continued thinking about Bella. Was there a possibility that she missed me too? Was there a chance that I meant something to her- anything at all? Was she being herself, going on with her life like I didn't mean a thing? Or was she locking herself up in her room, missing me too? So many unanswered questions, so many things I wish I could tell her but I lost my chance. Now, she'll never know how I felt abut her. If I never left, I would have never found out how I felt, but, because I don't live there anymore, I'll never get to tell her how much she means to me. I suppose that it's for the best. If I told her, she would probably tell me that she never really cared for me. Of course she didn't feel the same way for me. What was I thinking? It took me most of my strength not to ask King Billy to bring me back. I hadn't seen a sight of her for the months that I have spent here. She hasn't even tried to bring me back, so I must not mean a thing to her. She was a Princess, she got whatever she wanted, and if she wanted me, she would have me right now, right?

I knew one thing though- I felt like I needed her, now more than ever, to just show me the same love I had towards her. I missed her more than I thought was possible for a human being to miss another person. I missed Bella.


	12. Black Hole

**A.N. Heyy everyone! don't worry, things will start picking up in the next few chapters. So hang on! Also I realize that this chapter is much shorter than the rest so I do apologize before hand. Please R&R :D**

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Sometimes, I'm perfectly fine. Well, no, not really, but I don't feel happy, and I don't feel extremely sad. I've felt this way for so long, that I'm already used to it. I am so used to waking up and feeling this way that it seems like it will never go away. But, late at night, when no one else is awake, it gets worse and I break out into tears. I wake up in the middle of the night, from a nightmare of running from emptiness, not feeling tired, and I feel this ache in my chest. It's not like pain from doing something, because I have completely stopped doing anything. This pain starts as a small prick, and when I'm at my weakest point, or I remember something, it grows bigger and deeper. The little prick bursts and creates a hole. Then that hole keeps getting larger until it completely sucks me up. Even things like thinking and breathing get harder to do.

Sometimes I feel empty. When that hole sucks me up, it makes me feel numb. I can't feel anything, not even the pain I should be feeling. Other times I feel like my heart is shrinking, as if it's not there anymore. What worries me most though, is when this unknown pain comes. Whenever I space out, I experience what I can only describe as my heart- not just breaking- but totally being crushed by some unknown force. It's like shards of ice and glass are being thrown at me in every direction, and all of them are aiming for my heart. Or a hammer is hitting it, and flames are setting it on fire. Why? Well, to be plain and simple, I missed Edward.

I was so lost without him. When he left, without even telling me, I literally felt my world fall apart. I barely ate anything, I stopped playing the piano or riding Jeluby, and I locked myself up in my room. Most of the time, I stared outside my window, helplessly hoping for him to come home and beg for my forgiveness. I thought of him coming home and telling how sorry he was for leaving without saying goodbye. Each day passed and the false hope I brought myself to believe in, crushed me the same way, every time. My Edward was never coming back.

The day Edward left, I stayed in the meadow for hours, curled up in a ball. When they noticed me still missing, Father called on a search party. It was already dark when one of his guards finally found me in the meadow and brought me home. I stayed in bed over the next few days and refused to let anyone inside. The first time Mother and Father came to see how I was doing, I begged them to bring Edward back. They were baffled by my request, they didn't understand what Edward meant to me; but they said they couldn't. They said that Edward was a gift to the Black's. What was he? Some kind of toy to be traded off to someone else? To them, he might as well be. They couldn't get Edward back, and they wouldn't, even if they could. He meant close to nothing to them; and I thought too much of him.

* * *

"Your Majesty, I'm becoming very concerned. She has almost completely stopped eating, she never leaves her room, or talks to anyone. This just proved my theory; that boy was spending too much time with her and bewitching her to fall in love with him. It's a good thing I caught on to it sooner, or else she might have deluded herself into wanting to marry him," Jane said, as she stopped pacing.

Charlie sighed, "I see, she hasn't eaten anything?" He casually glanced toward Jane who was standing stiffly beside his throne. Jane and Alec were keeping track of Bella's behavior and it was time for them to verify what was going on in the Princess' life.

"Not for the past few days, Sire," Alec replied.

"What do you propose we do then, Jane, Alec?" he asked worriedly.

"I have a few ideas," Jane smiled sweetly. 

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Staring outside your window can be more productive than you think. It gives you a chance to consider the problems you face in your life and gives you a new perspective of the things that happened. Looking out the window doesn't actually solve anything, but it at least helps me to clear my mind. The things I can see outside the window, give me a reason to go another day without him.

What was the point in life, though? I don't understand. We are all going to die some day, so why were we put on this earth? What was the point in anything? It didn't fully make sense to me. How could I go on, knowing I'd never be happy again? Or feeling like I'd never be of any use to anyone?

There was a quiet rap at the door as someone entered the room.

"Princess?" a small voice called. It was Alice. I nodded my head a tiny fraction to acknowledge her presence.

"I brought food, Princess. It's your favorite," Alice said in a happy tone. She anxiously looked at me. Noticing my lack of interest, she asked,

"Is there something else you would like me to bring?" I didn't move a muscle.

"I see then. Well, please excuse me," she said, and bowed.

I continued to stare out the window. Nothing had changed since Alice came in.

* * *

"What do you propose we do then, Jane, Alec?" Charlie asked, rather worriedly.

"I have a few ideas," Jane smiled sweetly.

"She doesn't eat, she barely sleeps, and most of the other servants haven't seen her for months now. This isn't normal, Sire, she shouldn't be acting like this when she is only this age," Alec said.

"So we thought that perhaps a new distraction might help her. Something to take her mind off of that boy. The Princess is already twelve, pushing on to thirteen and she is already becoming a young lady. We believe that she is old enough to be introduced to a fine Prince her about her age. If she can fall for that that lowly servant boy, she can definitely fall in love with a wealthy, young, gentleman," Jane said.

Charlie looked at her questioningly, "You mean to say...?"

"Yes, your Majesty. I think it is about time we send a messenger to the Blacks again," Jane nodded, and her plan went to action.


	13. Piano

**A.N. SORRY! I know it's late but it's here now so please forgive me. Please R&R ^.^ Oh! And idk if you guys are interested... the piece that's being played is Maybe by Yiruma. Easy to find on youtube :P Anyway, here is Chapter 13 of Servant Boy **

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For some reason, I had this hope that one day I would be able to return to the castle I used to call home. I couldn't help but think about it, although I knew how foolish I was for wishing. I wasn't sure how it would happen, and frankly I didn't care. All I wanted was to see her face for one last time- It didn't matter how, and it didn't matter when. I would wait until I was on my deathbed, taking in my final breaths, as long as it meant that we could reunite one day. That little hope made me more willing to put up with another lonely day. I knew it was wrong, but I conjured many of these dreams to keep myself content. In my heart I knew that there was little chance of me ever seeing Bella again, but that didn't stop me from longing. It didn't stop me from caring.

What was even more upsetting was that fact that, during the long hours of continuous chores, sometimes I felt like she was still there with me. Sometimes when I wandered down the halls, and I heard a piano playing, or when I was outside and heard the trotting of horses, or the sipping of tea, I was reminded of Bella. I remembered every time I spent with her. Like the time she tripped and she fell into a bur bush and Alice spent the rest of the day pulling them out because she refused to cut her hair; or the time she got so mad at me and pushed me into the lake. She was everywhere I looked, and no matter where I went, there was always something there to remind me of her.

Another peculiar thing about the new castle was the fact that everything was done following meticulous routine. We all woke up at the same time, ate together, worked together, and almost never got any time to spend alone. Everything was done at a certain moment, and it was like there was an unwritten rule about everyone being present for it. Every now and then, I would get bored of this and try to escape the schedule. I would walk aimlessly around the castle and wait for everyone else to eat dinner while I treasured the split seconds I had to myself.

In truth, the Black's castle was a nice place to live- we were treated well, got enough to eat, and were given a bit of time to rest. It just didn't feel like I truly belonged. I missed Esme's gentle happiness that seemed to bring a feeling of warmth and love over the whole castle. I missed Carlisle's wisdom and guiding. I missed the playful banter of my 'siblings'. But most of all, I missed my Bella.

Today was one of those days when I had had enough of the schedule. It was dinnertime, and everyone was gathered in the dining room. The halls were bare and quiet. It was raining lightly outside, and I could hear the faint sound of rain falling on the roof. Deciding to skip dinner overall, I walked past the dining room and headed to the servant's quarters. The rain picked up and it started thundering loudly.

I sighed and remembered Bella's fear of thunder. It was the only time I saw her vulnerable side. I smiled as I remembered how she used to hide under the covers until it stopped. I spent most of those times with her, sitting beside her bed. I remembered she got over that fear by distracting herself through the storm. We told each other stories of dragons and fairies and elves. My favourite story she told me was about a bad-tempered old widow had two daughters. The older one was rude and full of pride but because she looked like her mother, she was the favourite child. The mother and the older daughter treated the younger daughter badly. I sighed, remembering the wonderful sound of Bella's voice, telling the enchanting tale...

_"The younger daughter was sweet and kind. She was beautiful, with long locks of golden hair and a gentle smile. Although she was courteous, her mother and sister treated the sweet lass quite poorly."__  
__  
__"Well that hardly seems fair, Bella." I said, interrupting her story. She gave me a glare that looked to cute to be scary._

_"Let me finish the story then!" she retorted, then continued: __  
__  
__"One day while drawing water from a well, the younger daughter was asked for a drink by an old woman. The girl didn't give it too much though and gave the woman a drink. Suddenly the woman snapped her fingers and turned into a fairy. She explained that she was a fairy who had taken the disguise of an old woman to test the character of mortals. Because the girl was so kind and compassionate toward her, the fairy blessed her with having a diamond or a pretty flower fall from her mouth whenever she spoke," __  
__  
__"That's blasphemy!" I cried.__  
__  
__"It's just a story, Edward," she laughed, "It doesn't mean it actually happened. Now who's telling the story here?"_

_"Alright, continue the story please," I pretended to zip my mouth to encouraged her. __  
__  
__"Well, upon arriving home and explaining why she took so long to her mother, the widow was outraged. At the sight of glistening diamonds and fragrant rose petals falling from the kind girl's lips, she desired that the eldest daughter, Fanny, should have the gift as well. Fanny protested, but the widow forcibly sent her to the well with instruction to act kindly toward an old beggar woman.__  
__  
__Fanny set off, but, unbeknown to her, the fairy was now disguised as an old gentleman. Fanny, with no idea that this was the fairy, was rude to her, and refused to draw her a drink from the well. The fairy decreed that, as punishment for her despicable attitude, toads and snakes would fall from Fanny's mouth whenever she spoke.__  
__  
__When Fanny arrived home, she told her story to her mother- disgusting toads and vipers falling from her mouth with each word. The widow, in a fury, drove her younger daughter out of the house._

_The girl stumbled to the woods, where she happened across a kind and dashing prince. The lad was immediately taken with her beauty and sweet disposition, and soon they fell madly in love. They were married a fortnight later, and they lived happily ever after."__  
_

_"Might I ask what the moral of this story is?" __  
__  
__"I_ _think it means to be kind to everyone, never judge a person by their appearance, and that good things come to good people," she smiled, and I understood._

* * *

I shook out of my memories, and felt a new surge of hope. I always tried to be the best person I could be, even when it seemed impossible... so maybe something good would happen to me someday.

I was just passing by the darkened storage rooms when I heard it. It was a sweet melody coming from inside, that started off slow with despair then gracefully grew into longing and hope. The sound was powerful and sad, and caught me off guard. I practically ran to the find the source of the music. As I entered the storage room, I took in how dimly lit and cluttered it was. Old, broken things, boxes, and long forgotten furniture were scattered around the room. Then I saw the dusty old grand piano, sitting in the corner of the large room. It was a majestic old instrument, if neglected, and behind it I could just make out the shadowy figure of…

"Seth?" I asked, in awe and bewilderment. The music came to an abrupt halt.

"Ed-Edward," he said, quickly standing up.

"I was heading back to our room when I heard you playing- where in the world did you learn to play like that?" I questioned.

"I… my dad used to teach the Prince how to play the piano. I used to watch their lessons and I saw how much he enjoyed teaching the Prince, so I asked him to teach me. After he died... well, there was no one else who knew how to play, so they moved the piano in here." Seth said.

"Oh," I said softly.

"I suppose I should go now," he said, shyly. He stood up and started making his way out.

"Wait," I said. "So that was you? All the times I walked down the hall and heard the sound of the piano- that was you all along?"

"Yes, it was me, you won't tell anyone, will you?" Seth asked, suddenly concerned. Suddenly I flashed back to all the times I watched Bella play the piano, and when she tried to teach me how too. Then I had an idea.

"I'll tell you what, Seth, teach me to play! I promise I won't tell a soul." I said. He looked at me and then slowly broke into a smile.

"You got it, Edward." he replied, as he sat back down, leaving room for me to sit beside him.

"Shall we start now?" he grinned.

"Put your fingers here... like so..." he demonstrated. Before long, under Seth's cheerful teaching, I was playing a simple, but sweet tune. "I've missed having someone to play piano with…" he trailed off quietly.

As I ventured down the now silent hallways, back to my room, I vowed to myself that I would practice hard. I was determined that the next time I saw Bella, I would play for her. It was one more little thing to keep me going; another way to keep alive my hopes that someday, we would be together again.


	14. Jacob

"Bella your mother and I have had it with your behavior," Father huffed. He was sitting hesitantly on the foot of my bed, lecturing me on the expectations they had for me, and the life I am supposed to live. I was staring blankly at the ground, carefully perched on my dressing chair, but I didn't bother listening to what he had to say. It wasn't as if anything he said was of importance. Usually, I would be thrilled I was getting to spent time with Father. After all, this was the first time either of them entered my room in months; but I could care less. It didn't matter to me who was speaking or how worried they thought they were for me. I didn't want anything unless it came from Edward. When Father realized I wasn't paying attention to him, his face twisted into chagrin and turned into a fiery red colour.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" he wailed, abruptly standing up. I continued to stare at the floor and didn't even flinch when he walked toward the doorway. Father's voice was droned in the back of my mind. What was he even talking about now? I decided I should at least try to tune in. Listening was harder than it used to be. I was already used to ignoring all the voices surrounding me, so I struggled to let the words sink in.

"Isabella, this isn't normal! You have done nothing except sit in your room for over four months! Your mother and I can't take it anymore! I am tired of you not paying attention, not caring, having to talk to your back, or watching you starve yourself! It's been four months, dear. At this rate, when will you ever get back to normal? Lady Jane said she knew a perfect place for uncanny children like you, and we think you should go. It is a very fine place, not very far from here and your mother and I have already taken a look at it. You can come visit us as much as you please and the people there are kind and assertive. I think you would be much happier living there. What do you think about it honey?" He paused for a moment, hoping to finally get some interaction with me.

This sparked my interest. They wanted to leave me in some place like an abandoned child? I couldn't leave, I had to stay here and wait for Edward. What if Edward came back when I was away? What if he's trying his best to get back to me right now? If that were the case, it was decided; I had to stay.

I opened my mouth and sighed before calmly asking, "What have I done wrong, Father? I'm fluent in French, English and Latin, I do most of the things I am told, and I even started taking lessons again. I can walk gracefully with five books stacked on my head, I can read and write poetry, and I can play almost any piece of music on the piano. I haven't done anything wrong."

"Exactly it, it's not normal, Bella, dear. All you do, are the same things over and over again. Other than those things, you never do anything else. Trying to have a conversation with you is like pulling teeth. Trying to make you laugh seems almost impossible. I don't know what to do with you anymore. Your mother and I think it would be best if you leave this place. Maybe when you clear your mind, you'll feel better living somewhere else."

"But, Father, this is where I belong, and I won't go away from it. I want to stay here and there's nothing you can do about it. Father, please, let me stay," I begged. "I promise, I'll change. I promise, Father, please." For what seemed like years, I reluctantly turned around to look into his eyes.

"Please Father?" I asked one more time. He tried to avert his gaze, but shock was evident on his features. He didn't expect me to respond. I tried to make him look at me, the way Edward used to do to. We stayed there for, what seemed like hours, before he cleared his throat and said,

"You can stay, under two conditions: One, you have to meet Jacob Black and two, take care of your Mother. She has been very ill and I think it's a good way to spend some time with her. She won't be going to any meetings because she hasn't been feeling her best," Father said sadly. I nodded and gave him a hug and he blushed.

What was the point in meeting Jacob Black? Did they expect that he would make me forget Edward? Or perhaps they planned on betrothing us? What ever they thought, I was sure it wouldn't work. I decided I would go straight to Mother's room, to see if she needed anything. If she was ill enough to miss anything, it was probably worse than Father was letting on.

After standing up, I uncertainly walked out of my room, and went to see Mother. While I was walking through the halls, I felt lost. It was as if this was the first time I was walking through the castle. The halls seemed bigger and unfamiliar. I passed by many servants, most of which, I had forgotten their names and stared surprisingly at me. I searched each corner of the castle before I unknowingly walked into the Kitchen. As I disappointedly sighed and turned around, I bumped into...a pile of quilts?

"Sorry, didn't see you over the quilts..." a male voice said, then poking his head over the quilts he asked bewildered, "Princess?" It was Jasper. Quickly standing up and dusting himself off, he offered me his hand and helped me up.

"Princess, what are you doing out here?" he asked, while he gently picked up the quilts.

'I'm looking for Mother's room,' I said in my head. There was no way I could say it out loud, though. To forget my way around my own home wasn't something most people did. Before I could answer, Jasper bowed and said,

"Please forgive me, Princess. It's just that I haven't seen you for a while, and I forgot my manners. I will excuse myself now," he stood up and began to walk away.

"Wait, Jasper," I protested. "Where are you off to?"

"The Queen's room," he replied curtly.

"I was just heading that way. Would you mind horribly if I tagged along?" I asked. Taken aback, he smiled and said,

"Why of course not, Princess, I would be honored if you accompanied me."

Once Jasper and I reached Mother's room, I felt the gloom of the servants around. They bowed as I entered the room, and I saw the grimness on their faces. The room was quiet except for Mother's soft moans. She was lying limply in the middle of the bed, sprawled underneath the covers. Her cheeks where pale and gaunt, and she looked thinner than she used to be. Her lips were blue and there were dark circles beneath her eyes; the result of lack of sleep. She meekly lifted her head and called faintly,

"Bella?"

I casually walked over to the side of her bed and sat down. "I'm here, Mother," I whispered.

"Oh, Bella," she sighed, and leaned forward. One of the servants quickly appeared and thrushed a wooden bucket in front of me. Another one, Emmett, pulled me away from my seat. Standing me up and patting my head, Emmett asked me if I was alright.

"I'm fine, Emmett, but how is Mother doing? Is she getting better?" I asked.

"I'm afraid she's getting worse everyday, Princess," Esme answered, suddenly rushing over to my mother's side. She wiped away the bile on Mother's mouth, and took away the bucket. She then tied mother's hair back and left, entering only moments later to put a cold, wet cloth on Mother's forehead.

"I'm so-sorry, Bella," Mother stuttered, trying to get up again. Esme gently pushed her down and told her not to strain herself. I couldn't stand it anymore, my mother lay there, so helpless and weak. I decided it would be best if I left. So I kissed my mother goodbye, and I tried to find my way outside to the garden.

***

I was sitting down on the swing Edward made me so many years before. Somehow, it made me feel better, made me feel closer to him, knowing he was the one who made it. I felt as though he were standing behind me, waiting for me to be securely on the seat, before pushing me. I tried not to look at things that reminded me of Edward, but I couldn't help it. He was everywhere I looked. The garden hadn't changed since Edward left, there wasn't a single leaf out of place; but it didn't look the same. Without Edward working on it, it wasn't as wonderful as I remembered.

Four months have passed since I last saw Edward. Contrary to what everyone says, time does not heal the wounds, or the pain that is left behind. Instead, it just softens the blow, and tries to stitch you up. It makes you hurt, makes you feel, and makes you know that what isn't there anymore was real. That what you're missing and what hurt you so badly was truly there and not just some fragment of your imagination. Time does not stop you from hurting, it just stops you from trying and tries to fill in the spaces.

These months that went by felt like a dream. No, a nightmare. Each moment that passed me felt like an eternity. The days that elapsed felt impossible, like there shouldn't be another day. Each day lulled past, and dragged me unwillingly. Why must people go on, when the things they love aren't there? I couldn't believe that I continued to exist without Edward. Without him my world didn't shine like it used to. I felt the loneliness and emptiness, and the discolor in the way I saw things. Nothing seemed to matter to me anymore, and everything that mattered was gone. Why was everything so difficult? And why was it that the outside world went on the way they did, as if nothing ever happened?

I heard the distant the sound of a large carriage pulling up to the castle, and I assumed it was another on of Father's meetings. I waited patiently for someone to tell me it was time for my piano lesson, or Lady Jane scolding me for missing idling, but no one came. The silence was peaceful. It made me forget the things I wanted to say, and focus on trying to stay here. Mother and father were serious about making me an orphan. Where they that concerned over my health, or were they just tired of me being a burden? It didn't matter what their reasons were. I was determined to stay where my memories were buried.

"You seem mighty lonely there, Miss," a low, husky voice said, shattering my thoughts. I looked up and saw a tall, muscular boy with russet skin, shaggy black hair and dark eyes in front of me. He was wearing a gold dublet with royal blue piping, worn over his loose white shirt and a maroon breeches with gold buttons, a gold sash around his waste and lacing, with more royal blue accenting it. He had a mischievous grin on his face and was standing straight like a like a proper gentlemen; but there was something about him that made him look child-like, calm and relaxed.

"Isn't it quite rude to ignore my greeting, Fair Maiden, though you are hardly fair?" he asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Kind Sir, please excuse me. I was shocked to find such a handsome young gentlemen, and stranger, standing before me. Shall I curtsy and ask for your forgiveness?" I replied.

"Why of course. It would not be a full apology without the Princess kissing my feet, and begging for forgiveness," he mused. I smiled and he smiled back at me.

"Perhaps I should beg now?" I said, carefully getting off the swing.

"I suppose you shall," the boy laughed as he bowed and I curtsied. He then walked towards me and I offered him my hand, which he kissed it lightly.

"You must be Prince Jacob Black, am I correct kind sir?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"You are correct, and might I be so bold to assume that you are Princess Isabella Swan?"

"I am she," I smiled. "Dear Prince, we have not yet spoken more than a thousand words to each other, and yet I feel like I already know who you are."

"That pleases me, Princess, for I too feel the same way," Jacob said, then added, "Please, call me Jacob, for that is my true name."

"Jacob," I repeated. "Then if you'd like, please call me Bella."

"Bella," Jacob laughed before he said, "Would you mind terribly if we stop speaking like this? My tongue is no longer use to old English, Bella." I nodded politely.

"Of course not, Jacob. Would you like to have a cup of tea? Maybe after that, we can sing a little song?" I asked, while he smiled with me. 'Jacob,' I thought, 'Maybe he isn't so bad.'


	15. Mother

**A.N. Sorry for the long wait, hope you don't mind it that much... What I really wanted to ask you guys, was how old do you think I am? I was talking to my friends about it, and it really interested me, i mean, i must sound a lot younger than i really am, because of my style in writing (especially during these a.n.'s XD ) so please, oh PLEASE leave a review telling me how old you think i am. THANK YOU! :)**

**Anyway, please enjoy chapter 15 of Servant Boy. **

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Jacob visited me almost everyday for the next two weeks. During those days, we were inseparable. We were so in sync that it was almost as if we were the music and lyrics to a song. With Jacob, I didn't have to act like 'A Princess' or 'Proper,' and Lady-Like', because he didn't care. The more time we spent together, the more I didn't need to pretend like there wasn't a hole is my chest, constantly trying to consume me. Whenever he was around, I almost never felt it. He let me forget the feelings that hurt me, even if it was only for a few hours. Within the little amount of time we spent together, he already knew the things that I loved to do, and he protected me from the things I was afraid of.

The days got easier to endure whenever Jacob was around. Everytime he set foot in the castle I felt like everything I went through for the last couple of months never happened; like there wasn't a hole in the first place. He made me feel better, like it was worth it to live. Jake was there for me when I broke down, crawled into a ball, and shook uncontrollably because of my memories. He was there when I burst into tears, or when I blocked out the rest of the world. He broke through my barriers, tore down the walls and was the only one who could reach me when I shut down. Jacob became my safe harbour. He became the silver lining on the storm cloud.

Although the days were getting better, even Jake couldn't help me at night. When I'm all alone, I feel out of place. It was as if I was not meant to be there when the rest of the world looked so much happier when I was our of sight. I didn't want to bother other people, and I really didn't want to make them look at me with such pity in their eyes. All I wanted was to stop time and rewind it so that I could stay with Edward, or replay the moments I spent with Jacob, or even go back to the time when I hadn't met either of them. Anything, I thought, was better than the way I was now.

It wasn't safe for me when I was awake or asleep because even in my dreams, the emptiness surrounded me. I had the same nightmare every night of me running in darkness, looking for Edward, looking for something that would rid my pain; but always coming out empty handed. This dream would not scare most people, but it certainly terrified me. I spent the whole night, searching, running after someone who would never come back. I was desperately yearning to see his face once more, wanting to touch him, and make sure he wasn't just made up. I wanted to know that his existence was real, that the times we spent together really happened, and that my feelings were honest.

Despite the fact that Jacob tried his hardest to mend my wounds, there was no avoiding the other problems I would have to face after that. He might be able to make me feel like me again, but he could never make my mother's illness go away.

"Good afternoon everyone. Carlisle, I hope you don't mind, but I gathered more flowers. How is my mother doing today?" I asked in a voice that sounded older than my own. Alice bowed before she came to me and took the flowers out of my hand. She gently took the vase with the old flowers and replaced the new one. Jasper smiled politely before saying,

"Her health is getting better and she should be returning to the way she was before in a few days. Carlisle has been taking good care of her, so there's no need to fret. She is still resting, from her fever last night, right now. Perhaps Alice or I will find you when she wakes?"

His reassuring words didn't match the anxious expression in his eyes. As he led me next to my mother's bed, I noticed how much weight she lost, and frail looking she was. She looked like a withering rose with

it's petals ready to fall off at any given moment. I put my hand lightly on hers and sighed. Her skin was soft and cold. I only spent a few minutes in the room, and already I felt like leaving.

There was a certain feel of gloominess radiating off the bare, stone walls. The servants in the room looked too still, and regardless of the fact that the window was open, the room felt confined. My mother's raspy breathing was the loudest sound that could be heard. No one else dared to make a sound. Instead, they pretended to do the things that they should be doing to give me some sense of privacy.

Mother started coughing and I felt helpless not being able to make her feel better. She had been in bed for more than a weeks already, and no one knew what was wrong with her. No one expressed their fear, but I knew something was definitely wrong. Finally, I stood up and excused myself.

"Please come and find me when she wakes up. I would like a word with her," I said before I turned around and began walking toward out the door. I wasn't sure where I planned to go, but I knew I needed to get out of there. I felt like if I didn't leave, the walls would cave in and I would watch my mother suffer some more.

Before I knew it, I found myself in the garden again; sitting on the soft grass. I started thinking about how much things had changed over the years. I could hardly believe that Edward had left over four months ago. I looked up and noticed how the leaves were starting to change their colors, and how the breeze suddenly felt cooler. I realized it was already September seventh, and that next week would be my birthday. There was a sudden prick in my heart when I remembered that this would be the first time since I was seven, to celebrate my birthday alone. I felt the hot tears stinging in my eyes, when I thought about turning thirteen without Edward.

"M'Lady," Jacob called teasingly from behind me. When I didn't turn around or answer, I heard him take a deep breath. Coming closer to me, he asked,

"Princess? Is something the matter? It's rather warm outside and yet you are shivering," Kneeling down and then sitting beside me, he wrapped one arm around my shoulder. His features quickly changed into agony when he understood that I wasn't shaking from the breeze.

"Bella, are you crying?" he asked, concern flooding his voice. "What happened? Did something bad happen to you?" I didn't know what came over me. Before I knew it, I buried my face in his gold doublet and started crying. Jacob gently patted my head, trying to calm me down.

After what seemed like hours, I finally stopped crying. Straightening myself up, I wiped away the tears in in my eyes and stared at the grass. I felt so ashamed, breaking down in front of someone else, and shedding my tears in the presence of a boy, but I could not help it. I have been holding it in for too long, and it was too much for me to handle. I felt so tired, and I could feel that the skin under my eyes were swollen and red. Jacob sat quietly beside me. He kept throwing me troubled glances, half expecting me to break into tears again.

"Dear Jacob, I am deeply sorry," I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Please do not dwell on it, Bella. I was sure it would come soon. I heard about your Mother's illness, and I am sure that you are also fretting over her fate, but do not worry my dear Bella. I promise you, that I will be there for you, whenever you need me most. Please Bella, your face is too lovely to be making such faces, and crying such tears. You are too young to be carrying such burdens and concerning yourself over what might be. It is such a waste of your precious life, to be sad for even just a moment, and it truly hurts my heart to see you like weeping like this. Please Princess, do not cry anymore. Although, I know that you are so strong, and have been keeping such feelings locked up inside you, you must remember that I am here for you, and that you do not have to go through such difficult times alone," Jacob said, gazing at me, his eyes burning with emotion.

I nodded meekly and he quickly stood up. Without looking at me, he offered me his hand, and I hesitently took it. Together, we stood there for a while without saying a word. Standing side by side, I finally understood what he was trying to say. As long as Jacob Black was around, I would never have to be alone again. I would never have to face another difficult time by myself.

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**A.N. PLEASE R&R, and don't forget to guess my age,, it would really mean a lot to me :) Also, after this chapter, things start picking up, A LOT! So be prepared ;) (L)**


	16. On the Surface

**A.N. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but it became so long that I had to put it into two. So please enjoy chapter 16 of SB! Please R&R... the more reviews, the sooner the next chapter will be up. I'm hoping to update it within a few days. Also, this chapter will be dedicated to my wonderful new Beta... PureHearts :) Thanks so much for your help! It's really appreciated (L)**

* * *

Mother's ailment hasn't gone away yet. Lately all she ever does is sleep; waking up a couple of minutes each day simply to eat or drink something, only to regurgitate it all up later. Most days when I visited her, she would be sleeping restlessly, or vomiting, too weak to rise out of bed.

I wouldn't stay with her for long. Each day got a little harder to see her face. Her pale skin shone with perspiration, her face held a pallid glow. No one was sure what was wrong with her. The greatest doctors from around and beyond the kingdom were baffled. Most said that she was working herself too hard and needed proper rest, but even I understood the true meaning behind their careful words.

Today started off the same as usual. I woke up, changed into a 'proper' gown by Lady Jane's standards, and ate breakfast before going to classes for the rest of the morning. After lunch, I had music lessons with Lord Alec, who was teaching me 'Moonlight Sonata' by Beethoven. After a long while plonking fingers on to the black and white keys, I went into the garden to have some tea with Lady Jane. It was still early in the after noon when I went to see Mother. Knocking on the tall wooden door, I heard Alice calling from the inside. I took a deep breath before walking in.

A gush of humid air engulfed me as I stepped into the dark room. The windows were closed with heavy curtains drawn over them, making the room muskier than usual. Alice curtsied when she saw me, before soaking a piece of linen cloth in cold water. She then wrung the cloth over the basin of water before placing it gingerly on her forehead. My mother's slender body was tucked under a thin white blanket to her chest, her thick hair lay delicately on her pillow, her once brilliant eyes were now closed in exhaustion. She was breathing heavily, almost desperately, as if she was running out of air. There she lay, a ghost of her former beauty. I stood at the foot of her bed, watching Alice wipe the sweat off her neck. I cleared my throat nervously.

"Is she feeling any better today, Alice?"

Alice let out a small sigh before shaking her head.

"She hasn't woken up since earlier this morning, Princess. The King visited her this morning, and she was asleep then too," she said.

"Is this there nothing I can do to help? Perhaps I could do what you are doing now?" I suggested, motioning toward her.

"Of course not!" cried Alice. "This is a servant's work, Princess. I would neve forgive myself if I made you do it. Just your presence is making her feel better. You need not worry about things like that," Alice said dismissively.

Knowing there was nothing I could do for Mother, and that Alice was too busy to keep a conversation with me, I started to exit the room.

"So be it. Please excuse me, Alice."

But just as I put my hand on the door, I heard a coarse, but gentle voice call,

"Bella?"

Hastily turning around, I looked to find my mother's eyes wide open with panic, her face ashen, covered in sweat. The sound of our hushed voices must have awakened her. Alice excused herself and went to go find the doctor. Moving closer to her and kneeling down beside her, I quietly petted her hand. Looking up to see her face, I realized that she was crying.

"Mother, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"No, Bella, no I am not in any physical pain," she whispered. "Isabella… you look so grown up… almost fourteen… I lost fourteen years to be with you… fourteen years without a mother. I'm sorry Bella." Her voice trembled, and shook. "I'm sorry I was never there for you, that I had never spent more than a day by your side, taking care of you when you were sick or needed me." Tears were falling down her thin face. "I'm sorry I was always away… you had to fend for yourself. You look so grown up, yet you are still so young…"

A coughing spell hit her and she struggled to catch her breath. The doctor came in and I found myself desperately wanting to leave. I stood up quickly and started walking towards the door.

"Isabella…" I paused at the door, not trusting myself to turn back.

"Bella, I love you my child…"

I felt my stomach clench, and I hurriedly left the room, hoping I seemed nonchalant. Once the doors were closed behind me, I stood in the hallway and inhaled the fresh air.

'I need to get out of here,' I thought. My feet started to carry me aimlessly, the tea I had soured in my stomach, and I bit back the bile rising in my throat. My head was spinning and I was finding it hard to breathe. Hot tears flowed down my cheeks, and my heart felt ready to explode in my chest. I wasn't aware of my surroundings as I stumbled along unthinkingly.

My mother really thought of me as her child. My mother, who had never really been a mother figure to me, never showed me any weaknesses or signs of love, really did love me. My tears started to flow freely, and uncontrollable sobs tore at my heart.

Not only was I unsure of the fact that she would live, but this was the first, and possibly the last, time I would ever hear either of my parents tell me that they loved me. It wasn't fair! Why did she wait this long? Why wait until the last second to tell me how much you cared? I had been waiting to hear those wonderful words from her mouth, but why now, when it's almost too late? What should have been one of the greatest moments of my life, was now a memory tainted with grief. I was too overwhelmed by her words to answer her properly, or to tell her my true feelings.

Was it possible to die from heartbreak? I felt like it was. I stared at the old swing, the swing which was the start of so many memories. Memories of me and … I closed my eyes.

'The only mother I know of, actually loves me, and she is dying, withering into nothing. The one person I love the most, has gone away without a goodbye. And it is certain that I will never see him again.'

* * *

The autumn air was cool and refreshing. Prince Jacob had assigned me to accompany him to some sort of business meeting. Almost every afternoon, the Prince would go somewhere unknown to the rest of the castle. Leah and Seth were teasing him about courting a beautiful princess. An agonizing thought of my Bella falling for the Prince occurred to me, before I squashed those feelings out of sight. The other inhabitants of the palace simply rolled their eyes, and grinned in amusement. Prince Jacob had never courted anyone before, and it was unlikely to happen any time soon.

I wasn't exactly sure why he needed me to come, but I wasn't complaining. I was glad to get out of the castle for the first time in months. I helped the other servants to load food into the carriage before Prince Jacob went inside, and ordered me in too. I felt the carriage start moving along the bumpy path. Sitting on the stiff seat of the carriage, I remembered the last time I was in it, riding into the unknown. The sadness and confusion I felt that day made me realize that I had to stop my feelings for Bella. It wasn't healthy for someone like me to be in love with someone like her. She was far above me. She was meant for greatness. She was meant for happiness.

I was meant for nothing.

Prince Jacob, who was sitting across from me, had started tapping his foot on the hard floors of the carriage. He looked out the window, focusing on something very far off in the distance, and sighed. I wasn't sure what else to do, so I followed his gaze. There was something peculiar about the look on the Prince's face. He looked slightly alarmed, eager and very impatient, as if we had been waiting here for too long. I wanted very much to ask him why he needed me here, but I kept my mouth shut. The first rule about being a servant, is to never to speak unless you are spoken to.

Jacob caught my questioning glance. "You're probably wondering where we are going and why I brought you along?"

"Yes your Majesty,"

" We are heading off the Swan's castle. Your job will be simple, just unload the cargo and bring it to the kitchen," Jacob said, and then his face softened,

"We're visiting someone very important."

"Your Majesty, correct me if I'm wrong, but did you say the Swan's Castle?" I asked, struggling to keep the shock off my face.

"Yes… oh, of course. How would you know about the Swans? A mere servant like you probably hasn't even seen outside the castle walls. Anyway, once you are finished unloading the carriage, you are dismissed. I will call for you later on, after sunset," he added. His eyes wandered back to the window, effectively ending the conversation.

I lay back on the hard seat, and did my best to stop my mouth from twitching in glee. I couldn't believe it. After so many days, praying to come back to the castle, after so many nights of wondering how everyone was doing, I could finally see everyone again. It was like a dream come true. I was elated with happiness. The day had finally come for me to see Bella again.

What seemed like ages later, the carriage finally came to a halt. The coachman opened the door and Prince Jacob stepped out.

Ignoring me, he went straight into the castle. I quickly grabbed the food that was placed neatly at the back of the carriage, and ran in through the staff entrance that led to the kitchen. I heard the kitchen staff go quiet, as I dropped the heavy load on the kitchen counter. Six pair of eyes looked at me in shock.

"Edward? Is that you?" Jasper was the first to speak. His hand still held the knife he was chopping onions with. It hung suspended in mid-air, all but forgotten.

"Who else would it be?" I answered, grinning.

"Oh, Edward!" Esme threw her arms around me, followed by Alice and Rosalie. Carlisle patted my head while Emmett and Jasper pretended to punch my arm and pummel me to the ground.

"It's wonderful to see you again, my son."

"How on earth did you get back?" Alice squealed, dragging me to the table. They crowded around me, waiting for my explanation.

"Prince Jacob ordered me to accompany him here. Although it's only to unload the carriage, I am allowed to visit everyone. I'm as surprised to be here as you are. I never imagined coming back so soon." I smiled. It really felt amazing, as if I really did belong here. My smile didn't return the sad look on their faces.

"Does that mean you are only visiting for a today? Will you be able to come back?" Carlisle questioned, voicing the thoughts of everyone.

"Yes, it's just for today, but isn't it better than never seeing each other at all?" I met with each of their stares before Alice quietly agreed,

"I suppose it is better than nothing."

"So? What have you been up to for the last four months?" Emmett boomed. I told them about the Black's castle, about Seth and Leah and my new life. My eyes wondered around the room, looking to see if Bella was hiding somewhere.

"What time is it? Aren't there still chores to finish? I could help you, and we can speak later when there is less for work to be done," I said, rolling up my sleeves as I stood.

"Don't bother, Edward," Alice said.

"Yeah, that's right little brother! You'll only make a mess of those onions anyway!"Emmett added gleefully. I rolled my eyes. Emmett was just infantile.

"Now Edward, you just came back! Go for a walk, get some fresh air, and enjoy yourself. We'll meet up with you later," Esme encouraged. I smiled and gave her one last hug before leaving the kitchen.

I wasn't sure where I planned to go. I sat behind the outside door that lead into the kitchen. Part of me was desperate to see Bella's smiling face again, to talk to her and make her laugh like I used to. I wanted to hold her and tell her how sorry I was for leaving without telling her or saying goodbye. I wanted to explain how much I thought of her, and how much I did love her. Every inch of me yearned to touch her, yet at the same time, a nagging voice at the back of my mind reminded me of the reality I was in. I was not allowed to love her.

'She doesn't even love me back,' I thought, 'A Princess must love a Prince, so of course she would never look at me as anything other than a childhood friend. Someone like her deserves someone far better than me.'

I knew that if I saw her, all the love I felt for her would come tumbling forward, and I wouldn't be able to control myself. She was probably better off without me. During the last few months I was away, she was probably happier than she had ever been. No one would be there to tell her off, or scold her, or to break promises…

Grimacing, I grimly decided to avoid seeing Bella at all costs. I went to places that I remembered Bella usually wouldn't go. I sat down under a tree facing away from the old lake where Bella and I used to swim. I looked at familiar landscapes and smiled. It was great to be back. I lay back, lazily wondering what should do I next. It was still early in the afternoon, and it would be a while before my family finished their work.

The loud sounds of footsteps crunching against the dry ground made me turn. Glancing around, I felt my heart pound loudly against my ribs.

Bella looked thinner, taller, her hair slightly longer, and she was standing on the dock. She had her shoulders hunched and it was clear to me that she wasn't happy. She bowed her head, wiped her eyes, and then looked down longingly at the water, as if wanting desperately to go for a swim.

I was mortified. My little Bella looked like a mess. I had the urge to run to her and wrap my arms around her frail figure. I watched her, wondering what I should do. Should I just stay here and watch her? A feeling of sheer nervousness rushed through me and I felt my knees going weak. I wanted to go to her and beg for her forgiveness. To erase my wrong doing. To make her cherry lips curve into a sweet smile. My Bella wasn't suited for tears. Before I was even able to move, I heard a faint cry as she broke out into tears, moaning brokenly.


	17. Over Again?

**A.N. As promised, here is chapter 17! Please don't forget to review :) **

* * *

Somehow, I ended up standing on the dock, thinking about how my life must seem utterly miserable to the outside world. Looking up at the sun, a new set of tears came without my consent. A thousand thoughts rushed through my head. Who cares about anything when there isn't a single person in the world who cares about you? What was the point in living if the person you love is beyond your reach, and there is no one who can comfort you? When the person you love is your best friend, and they are the one who left you? Who can you turn to? There is no one.

If I died, would anybody come rushing over to find me? Would anyone truly miss me if I left this world? Even if they did miss me, it would only be for a moment. They wouldn't mourn for too long. Time would continue as if I never existed.

I wondered how Edward was doing. Was he happy right now? Did he ever think of me during our time apart? All I wanted was for him to miss me, even just half of what I missed him. A strange sort of panic started to rise in me. What would he do if he saw me right now? I must look like a wreck! Nothing like how a princess should act!

A little part of my brain registered a strange straggled sobbing sound, and I wondered where it was coming from. There wasn't any one else around. It took me a moment before I realized, the noises were coming from me. I immediately tried to quench the sounds. Deciding that I should wash my face, I leaned into the lake slightly, cupping my hands.

As I looked down at the water, I could see my reflection. My face was blotched and red, streaks of brown hair sticking to my tear-stained face. I was hardly a model of beauty. Why would Edward be thinking of me?

Still staring into the crystal blue lake, I couldn't shake off the feeling of how inviting the cool waters looked, and how much I wanted to dive in it way I did with Edward. Remembering how deep the water was, and how wonderful it felt when I was swimming in it, I suddenly had the urge to jump in the water and stay in it forever.

My mind flashed back to the time when Edward was here with me.

_"Bella! Just jump in!"_

_"Bu…but the lake looks really deep, what if I drown?" He rolled his eyes._

_"Bella, just jump. I'll be here to catch you."_

_"Honestly Edward! If anything happens to me…"_

_"Then, I'll be the first there to save you." _I smiled,the memory acting both as a sharp knife and a warm hug at the same time. I bent my knees, and jumped.

I felt the cool water crash around me, caressing me through my clothes as I sunk deeper and deeper into the lake.

Memories of the times I spent with Edward replayed before my eyes. Edward saving my pet bird from the cat the day it somehow got into the cage. Edward drawing a portrait of me sitting on the swing. Edward fixing up my scrape when I decided I didn't want to come down from the tree, and then jumped down when he threatened to tell my father. Edward when he was working hard in the garden, his sweat shining on his handsome face. I saw his smile, and all the times he caught be before I hit the ground. And his eyes. His eyes that filled with tenderness whenever he looked at me.

I felt a surge of pleasure to be able to see him again. I didn't want to live anymore, and was aware of it. I have already lost two people I loved, how many more would I have to lose? I already knew that Jacob was better off without me, and although he's not tired of me now, eventually, even he will leave me too. My mother and father also wanted nothing to do with me, that's the only reason they hired a governess. Father is always busy and Mother is dead. Wait was mother dead? A shock ran through me.

No, I'm certain she's still alive. She told me she loved me. At the very least, I had to go see her one last time and tell her how much I love her and father too.

Was I really so sad that I didn't want to live? I felt my face turn into a frown. That couldn't be true. There were people out there that had even less than I do. I had Jacob, and my parents. Especially Mother. She's so sick now! If I died, what would happen to her?

I panicked. Mother was already so frail. If she received another shock… I have to live. I had to see Jacob; I had to wait until I saw Edward once more. I had to wait a little while longer, at least to see how things end up. I must live, for Edward, for Mother. My back hit the ground, and realized that I had almost no air left.

'No!,' I thought. I started struggling, trying to get to the surface of the water. Using the strength I had left, I pushed through the water, kicking as hard as I could. Lifting my head, I could see how far away the surface was. With each struggle, I felt my arms and legs getting heavier and my clothes dragging me down. My lungs were screaming for air, as the last of my strength gave out on me.

Remembering that this was what I wanted in the first place, I stopped resisting. This was my punishment for taking the easy way out. Looking up, I watched the sun's rays pierce through the water, making it sparkle. I saw my hair gently floating in the water, and for a minute, I thought that I saw Edward's worried face, peering into the water before I felt my eyes getting heavier. My head started sagging and I was about to fall asleep forever, thinking about the short life I had. I was glad I could see the memories of Edward and I before I died.

* * *

Suddenly, she dove less than gracefully into the water. At first, I thought she was trying to clear her head like she always did when we were kids. She used to say that the water made her feel better and sometimes she would stay under it for a while; but as I watched, I noticed how long she was in the water... and there wasn't any sign of her coming up. I was a little bit concerned, but still convinced she was just having a little fun. Despite my former determination to not reawaken old memories, I found myself intrigued by her tears. Why was she crying?

My mind told me to walk away, yet all I wanted was to look at her. I walked over to the edge of the lake, and peered into the depthless waters. I saw a little movement, and I froze. Her lifeless figure floated up to the surface.

Panic and fear filled my body, and without a second thought, I jumped into the water. The water was cold against my skin, and it stung to open my eyes. I pushed myself downwards, deeper into the lake. I quickly spotted her limp, unmoving frame, suspended in the water. I swam to her, desperately reaching for her arm, and pulling her toward the surface. I brought her head out of the water with mine, and wrapping my arm around her waist, guided her to shore. I gently lay her down on the ground, and brushed the hair out of her face.

A few droplets of water clung to her pale face, accentuating her beauty, as well as her pale skin.

"No…." I croaked.

* * *

I felt strong hands suddenly grab my arm, and felt my body being carried out of the water, only to be put down carefully on the ground. I felt sudden pressure on my chest and head. My whole body felt like weights were being put on it.

_'Am I dead_?' I thought incoherently. Wasn't death supposed to be less painful than this. Maybe I was in hell for trying to escape from the pain. If I was in hell, I might as well get used to it. I opened my eyes, only to close it again in shock.

Yes, I was definitely dead. Otherwise, there was no reason for me to see those topaz eyes again. Yet, it made no sense that Edward would be in hell with me. He was still alive, right? I felt someone shake me.

"Bella? Bella!"

"Edward?"

Yes, that was his voice. A horrible pain shot through my chest as my water soaked lungs struggled to cope with the cool air. The fact that I recognized my surroundings, and the pain, proved that I was alive. A strange joy started to grow in me. It was almost like I was whole again. Despite the pain, I felt like I was finally breathing once more. Oh, how happy I was to see him!

"I am dead, aren't I?" I asked. I was almost certain I was alive, but I wanted to hear it from his mouth.

"What on earth where you thinking, Bella? You could have gotten killed if I weren't passing by! Don't you ever do that again! What if you died?" Edward yelled.

"Edward? I'm not dead?" I could almost laugh with relief. I had another chance.

"Of course you are not dead! I just saved you! Barely! You were practically dead by the time I got to you!" Edward's hair was dripping and his eyes were narrowed; yet, I had never seen anyone so beautiful.

"Are you mad? Why in the world would you do such an idiotic thing? You nearly gave me a heart attack! Don't you ever-" I cut him off by hugging him around his neck and burying my face in his chest. It really was Edward.

"Yes, of course Edward. I will never do it again!"

_'Not now that you're here_,' I added in my head. I embraced him tightly, not wanting to let go.

Edward eyes widened in shock, and his arms didn't fully come around me. I knew he didn't grasp the fact that I missed him with all my heart, and was glad that he was the one who saved me. I knew he didn't carry the same feelings I had for him, and my hug probably meant something else for him, but I was still glad to be able hold him in my arms.

I felt him return my hug, hoping it meant that he missed me a little too. He broke it off, all too soon, and then I realized that there was a gash on the side of his hand and he was bleeding.

"Edward, you're hand," I gasped. The world started to swirl around me slightly as I registered the disgusting smell of rust and salt. I shook off the dizziness and forced myself to focus on the fact that Edward was hurt because of me.

"I'm fine, it's just a scrape; I'm not the one who almost drowned just now." But before he could object, I ripped a piece of my chemise off and wrapped it around his hand.

"Thank you, Edward," I said, and gave him a warm smile. Edward stiffened at my touch, and watched me tend to his scratch. I felt his gaze bore into my head, but I felt uneasy trying to meet it, knowing if I did, he would see the bright pink streaks blossoming across my face. Finally not able to stand the silence any longer, I looked up. What I saw in his eyes wasn't fear, or worse, worry. What I saw was what I saw in the mirror each day when I thought of him. I saw love. He was looking at me with such intensity that I could not look away. Gently he brushed my cheek with his finger.

"Bella, I-"

"Princess!" a suddenly worried call was heard coming from behind Edward, and Jacob, Alice, Jasper, and another female servant running towards us. His hands left my face like it had been burnt. A strange look crossed his face, and I saw a hardened mask slip over his features.

"Princess, are you ok? Why are you all wet?" Jacob asked. His face showing unspeakable concern.

"I'm fine," I said, mustering a smile, "I was drowning and Edward saved me. If he weren't there I don't think I would have made it."

Gasps came from Alice and the other female servant. "Dear Lord! Princess, are you okay?" Alice practically screamed hysterically.

"I'm fine." I muttered uncomfortably. Jacob looked shocked. Horror seemed to rack his features. He turned to Edward.

"Thank you Edward, you have just saved the most precious person to me. I owe you more than you can ever imagine. I'll be taking care of her now," he added. "You may go and tend your wound," Jacob said then turning to the other servants, he ordered,

"Please bring her to her room, change her into some drier clothes and let her get some rest." Jasper, Alice and the other servants bowed and took me away.

"Are you sure you're okay, Princess?" Jacob asked with a grin, while his eyes still shown concern. I rolled my eyes, and grinned back.

"I'm fine, dear Prince," I said4 sarcastically. Looking back, I saw Edward, sitting under a tree, looking stunned, at the water.


	18. Far Away

**A.N. HELLO EVERYONE! It's been a while, hasn't it? :) Sorry it's taken so long, but since school started I've been busier than I'm used to :$ Anyways... Here's chapter 18 of Servant Boy ! And for my New Years Resolution, I will try my best to update more frequently. Thank you for sticking with me for so long everyone! :D (LL) HAPPY NEW YEAR! (and Merry Belated Christmas haha) **

* * *

The silence was deafening. An uneasy feeling crawled over me as I sat up in bed. The sudden rush of blood to my head made me spin. Where was I again? Oh, yes, that's right. My bed. So it wasn't a dream. I was really here. The pounding of my head was beating in sync with the pulse of my heart beat. Trying to sort out my thoughts, I instantly looked out the window. I could see the early signs of the sunrise coming, the sky changing into a lighter, duller gray. I wiped the beads of sweat that was rolling down my forehead. My breathing was shaking and the silence continued to pierce me. My head was whirling as I tried to remember yesterday's events. There was something about water… the Prince… A shiver ran down my spine. There it was again; that restless feeling I felt earlier.

I could barely move. The wave of desolation that engulfed me was similar to that horrible few minutes when I thought Bella, was dead. I felt useless, my heart breaking into fragments as her lifeless body pressed against mine. Tears of anger overcoming me, and all I could think about was that I wasn't able to save her, that I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I would never again see her smiling face, or to hear her bell-like laugh. Everything I looked forward to, everything that I ever cared about was shattered the moment I thought she breathed her final breath. I was too late to save her. I was too late to do anything.

Then I thought about the relief, that bitter-sweet, heart-rending moment when I realized she was still alive; how grateful I was that I had a second chance. When she opened her eyes, and shock flew over her face; when she hugged me and caught me off guard; my heart soared in utter bliss, immersed in the one fact that made the world beautiful. It took a lot to restrain myself from doing anything to scare her off. My heart started to beat again. For a second, as her slim arms griped my waist, I thought maybe she missed me too, but at the same time, I also knew that it was impossible. I knew she was just happy that I saved her, and that she was alive.

By the time Bella was wearing some drier clothing and settled by the fire, the moon had already risen and twilight had passed. Since the Swans were grateful their Bella was safe, and because it would be too difficult to get back to the Black's Castle, King Charlie insisted that we stayed for the night. Of course, Jacob accepted the offer in a courtly, slightly eager manner. So here I was again, in what was once my bed. I wasn't sure what time it was, so I waited eagerly until I heard movement outside. Impatiently wondering when I could go and see Bella again.

It felt like days later before the rest of the castle started waking up, but when I heard the familiar sounds of Esme humming, I quietly snuck out of my room and headed to the garden. Nothing had changed in the months I was away. The intricate chairs, which everyone had seen, but no one had ever sat on, were found in the exact location they were before. The curtains, the same shade of blue, were still drawn over the large windows. An old portrait of the Swans, taken when Bella was just a baby, still hung on the wall at the end of the hallway.

Although I knew that I didn't work there anymore, I couldn't help but follow the schedule I had committed to memory. After tending to the flowers in the garden, and grooming Jeluby, I went to the kitchen to see if the others needed some help. They made a face, and grumbled about how they were fine; but Prince Jacob's sudden sleepover made for extra work, and I could see that they were glad to have an extra pair of hands. After some persuading on my part, they reluctantly put me to work. The rest of the morning went by in a flash, but Bella wasn't far from my mind.

I felt that I was missing something, as if everyone knew something that I didn't. There was something odd in the way Bella just leapt into the water, like she was aware she was drowning, and didn't care that she was. The way her face lit up when she saw me, like she had been waiting for my return for decades. But what bothered me the most was the strange in the way Prince Jacob looked when he saw Bella. How he had excessive concern about her, far more than a mere friend would. The way he touched her as if she belonged to him, and made me think there was something more to it then there should be.

"Edward, dear?" Esme's soft voice called me back from my reverie. "Would you ever be so kind as to help Carlisle? The King had sent him to see to it personally how the Queen is doing, and yet some merciless person had also told him to fix the stable fences and then feed the horses. Jasper can to do the rest once he has finished the rest of his chores, so don't worry yourself over finishing everything."

"Of course, Esme. You need not ask a second time," I said curtly, and excused myself.

I knew agreeing to do something meant that I actually had to do it, but I had this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. It was like my insides were being tied into knots, churning without notice. Assuring myself that no one else would mind if I took a short break, I decided to walk around again. So, instead of heading straight to the stable fences, I took a small detour, passing by the Royal Rooms. That was my first mistake.

I turned around the corner and coming from the music room I heard the sound of the piano's keys being played. The natural sound echoed around the room as each chord merged fluently into the next, the music giving off a soothing quality. The pianist's gentle touch played the chords without trouble, and each note was practically demanding to be heard even before it was played. I knew instantly that Bella was the pianist. I looked through the open door to the room and saw that she was alone. She looked so focused and determined to play the piece properly, that she didn't notice me standing there.

Not wanting to interrupt her new found love of the piano, I waited beside the entrance for her to finish. Looking at her, I noticed the curve of her lips, the smooth, creamy color of her skin, and the length of her soft looking hair. Her fingers sped up as she continued to play. Suddenly, I realized that Bella was sitting only inches away from me, just inches away to touch. I wanted to hold her again, to lay a hand on her warm cheek and know she was alright. The end of the song came, and ended with a loud soprano sound. I opened my mouth to say how magnificent she sounded but, instead, a voice other then my own applauded.

"Bravo! Encore! Encore!"

Bella stood up, took a rather bashful bow, and Jacob got up from a stuffed armchair that was situated behind the door, giving her a long, five second hug. He then backed up and put his hands on her shoulders and looked her deeply in her eyes. He smiled at her warmly and she returned it with her own. I stood there, baffled. Somehow, I managed to tear my gaze away from the couple, turn on my heels, and leave quietly. I felt like I was intruding on something I wasn't supposed to see. A mix of panic and shame flooded over me as I thought of what would happen if I were caught.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to think about the chores I needed to do. I had to get a grip on reality and do something, anything to distract myself. I knew hating the Prince for being so close to Bella wasn't really a valid reason to want to punch him into oblivion, but I couldn't help it. It was as if there was a monster ripping out of my chest, and it was begging me to hit Jacob. Envy flooded through me, because I finally understood that it was Bella who was Jacob's "Important Person." My mind wrapped around the meaning behind Jacob's overly concerned look in his eyes when he saw her. The way he smiled and laughed when she laughed, the way he subtly touched her arm. The pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and I finally understood. It was love. He loves her.

A cold chill ran through me as I felt something break. This was how it was meant to be; a Prince in love with a Princess. Who was I to say it's wrong and ruin their relationship? It was evident that she did not hold any feelings for me.

My mind wasn't working up to speed and I realized that I was absentmindedly fixing the fence, my hands moving unthinkingly. What was I going to do with this new found sense of jealousy? If I saw them together like that again, how would I react? Would I really be able to control myself, or would I end up choking the Prince and trying to kill him? I imagined my hands wrapping tightly around the Prince's scrawny neck, squeezing him until…

"_Edward?"_ Bella's sweet voice echoed in my head. I could hear it overflowing sadness and fear.

_Oh_. That's right. Of course I couldn't hurt him. If he were to attack me, I couldn't even lift a finger to defend myself without also hurting Bella. If I do so much as hit him, I knew I would not gain anything out of it because the person I have been trying to make happy, would not be. I love Bella, and this pain I felt, knowing Bella was better off without me, crushed my every being. When did I become so weak?

* * *

Jacob's hug was lasting too long. Trying to be subtle, I gently pushed him away. He gave me a warm smile, and I returned it with a light grin, hiding the growing guilt in my stomach. When he hugged me, I knew what his feelings behind it were. For some time now, I was aware that Jacob fancied me, and I knew I was leading him on for my own sick need. To be honest, I knew it was wrong for me to be taking advantage of his kindness by using him to fix me, but I could not help it. I needed Jacob too. He was like my own personal sun. Just being with him made me feel better. I was afraid that if I did not pretend to feel the same way he felt, he would leave me, and I would be alone. Again.

But that wasn't what I was thinking about right now. Edward was somewhere in the castle, and I was doing everything to stop myself from frantically searching around for him. All the nights of yearning to see him again, wishing on every star, and hoping on every dandelion I could find in the garden; my wish had finally come true. He was here and I could finally tell him how much I really cared. I started to get dizzy with emotion as I realized the possibility of him tossing away my feelings like dirt. Would I be able to handle his words? The uncertain events of the future seemed too swallow me in their magnitude. I felt some sour, liquid like venom creeping up my throat and I quickly turned to Jacob.

"Jacob, please excuse me, I don't feel well…," I mumbled. I turned on my heels and ran out the door before he was able to see where I went. Clutching my stomach, I bent over and threw up outside behind the Kitchen.

Once my nerves had finished their work on my unfortunate self, I decided it was best to stay outside. When I realized I was standing near the place Edward usually worked in, I casually walked over to see if he was there. No such luck. Where is he? I wondered. I couldn't help it. My need to see him grew more and more each passing minute, and I began to obsess over finding him as I wandered through the castle. I knew he would no longer be in the Kitchen, or the garden or I would have met him by now. He wasn't too fond of what Jeluby's barn smelled like, so I was positive he wouldn't be there either. The thought of him being near the pond crossed my mind, but somehow my intuition told me he wasn't there. The only other place he would go was…

I suddenly felt a surge of hope flow through me, as I ran past the barn and headed into the forest. The trees clawed at me as I charged through, ignoring the scratching of branches, not caring if I got hurt. He had to be there. He had to. With each stride I felt more my chest swell up with anticipation to see him. My legs seemed to move slowly as they struggled to catch up with my need to see him.

Turning around the last corner through the thinning bushes, I saw the clearing and held my breath. _'Please be there, please oh please be there,'_ I thought desperately. At first, it was too quiet to tell if someone else was there as I slowed my run into a slow walk. Finally, I saw him. He was crouched down in the in front of a tree stump, offering food to a little brown rabbit. The sun's rays peeked through the canopy of the trees and set an unearthly like glow on him. He  
tilted his head subconsciously, his angelic face softening as the bunny coward in fear. The rabbit looked at him, terrified, and swiftly hopped away, leaving a rather confused Edward staring after it.

Not wanting to disturb his peaceful moment, I quietly made my way towards him. Kneeling down beside him, I said,

"I thought you would be here."

"I thought you would come by," he answered, not moving. He continued to look in the direction the bunny left.

"The poor thing," I murmured.

"It is, isn't it?" He agreed, still not looking up.

"Edward." I said, my voice demanding that he finally looked at me. He did, and I felt all the love I felt for him pour over me. I just wanted to touch him… to make him love me. With a start, I realized how close our faces were. His eyes continued to bore into mine. I stared deeply back into his eyes, trying to keep his gaze, but I ended up getting lost into his amber eyes. I felt my whole body grow weak, and without my permission, move by itself. Within seconds, we were close enough to…

I caught myself, and looked away before I embarrassed myself any more than I already had. Of course he wouldn't want to kiss me back. To him, I was just a child.

"I- I should go," I managed to stutter out, as I stood up and started to walk. Edward followed me, and together we walked back to the castle. We didn't talk on our way back. There were so many things I had to say, but I knew right now wasn't the right time to say it.

Later that afternoon, Jacob decided it was time to go home. The servants loaded his carriage, and bade their farewell to Edward.

"Jacob, will you not stay here a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly, ignoring the amused looks of nearby servants who realized we were not only on a first name basis, but also that I was begging him to stay. No doubt gossip would ensue regarding the whole thing, but for me, I had another reason for Jacob to stay back. Edward and I had only been reunited for a day, and it seemed too soon to have to say goodbye again.

"Isabella, are you okay?"

I blinked. He obviously caught on to my confusion.

"You almost drowned yesterday. Don't worry. I'll be back sooner than you think. Anyway, you are always welcome to visit me," he whispered carelessly, before hopping in the carriage and driving away.

For the first time, I watched the carriage leave. I did not dare move an inch until it was so far away along the dirt road, that I could no longer see it. My eyes glued not on my best friend, but on the coppery locks of the man I loved. My heart broke slightly as I lost sight of the carriage.

"When will I see you again?" I whispered.


	19. The Party

**_A.N. Well, as you can see, my wonderful resolution isn't quite working out... XD anyways, WHOOT! Happy One year anniversay! I can't believe we've made it this far! So please stay with me until the very end, and I'm reaaaaallly, reaaallly sorry for making you wait so long. Please R&R ! :D _**

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Anxious. I was completely anxious. I couldn't believe that in only a matter of minutes, I would be able to see Edward again. The thought of meeting him again blew me away into another world, a world without worries. The carriage pulled up the dry stone road and came to a rumbling halt. The footman opened the carriage doors, and bowed as mother and father walked out. King Billy and Prince Jacob were both waiting to welcome us, standing under the arc of the entrance doors, arms fully extended.

"Welcome old friend! It's been too long Charlie," Billy said, shaking father's hand cheerfully before giving him a brotherly hug.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Billy?" Father replied while motioning mother and I closer.

"And Renee, why, you look as dazzling as ever!" Billy added, taking her hand and giving it a kiss. After releasing her hand, he looked at me with wide eyes and exclaimed, "Oho! And this must be the Princess Isabella that I've been hearing all about from Jacob. I would be honored to wish you a very happy birthday, Princess. Now that everyone has finally arrived, please come in. The banquet hall is this way."

Jacob extended his arm, and I took it absently, trying my best to keep my nerves under control. Somewhere in this castle, was Edward. I could hardly contain my excitement as Jacob took me for a tour around the castle. There were two marble staircases leading up to the Royal Chambers, which were anything if not large and spacious, even by my standards. A large chandelier hung in the middle of the throne room, it's crystal lights casting rainbow colours onto the white marble floors. The throne room led to a long, granite hallway, which lead several rooms and the garden.

The garden was exquisite. A long stretch of dark, mossy green grass, surrounded by hedges, fancifully shaped into wolves. There was a white, circular birdbath, with a fountain of water trickling from its center, tucked away in the corner. All along the hedges were red and white roses, with blooms the size of your palm. In the middle of the garden, stood two oak tables that stretched all the way to the birdbath. There wasn't much shade to sit under, but today the sun was dimmed, hiding behind a cumulous cloud. Polite chatter filled the air as guests walked about, having light conversations with one another.

Jacob led me around the crowd of people I hadn't met before; occasionally stopping when one of them recognized me and greeted me happy birthday. It wasn't long before I my feet started to ache and I felt the desperate need to sit down. As much as I wanted to, I still couldn't get the thought of looking for Edward.

Where was he? Was he busy? Did he remember that today was my birthday? Does he even care?

Looking around, I tried to focus on what I really wanted to do: see Edward. I scanned the crowd, searching for a merry pair of emerald eyes, or a flash of coppery brown hair. As a rather robust lady stepped away from my sight, I spotted him. He was on the other side of the garden, collecting dishes and serving out food. My eyes subconsciously started to watch him, following his every move. They traced his features, his arms, his lips, his eyes...

He suddenly looked up and as his eyes met mine, I gasped. I could feel a shock of electricity course through me, a fiery heat making its way to my cheeks. At first, his face lightened, but then he quickly composed himself and continued picking up a finished glass. I blinked as my chest thumped painfully.  
Was he not happy to see me?

I continued to watch him, and frowned. He was tidying up a bit fast wasn't he? I saw him pick up a teetering tray of dirty cutlery, and turn, while doing so, discretely twitching his finger towards me before pointing towards the edge of the party. My eyes widened. Edward then nonchalantly walked inside and disappeared, leaving me confused. What was he thinking? Was I seeing things properly? Was he telling me to follow him? I was starting to panic a little. He was making me so confused. One moment calling me forwards, the next pushing me back. My jaw set and I decided that no matter what, I wanted to properly talk to him.

Pushing through the crowd, I found Jacob and muttered "Ladies' room." Jacob raised an eyebrow and nodded. Spinning on my heel, I hurried towards the edge of the crowd, spying his lean back turning a corner. I gave a quick glance behind me, picked up the front of my skirt and hurried after him.

What was I thinking? Even if she did notice me, that didn't mean that she would actually try to find me. I was being ridiculous, trying to lure her away from her own party. There was no way she would rather be with me than celebrate her own birthday. I knew her feelings were different from mine. The moment when our eyes met probably didn't give her the same surge of joy that it gave me. Yet, I perpetually found myself foolishly clinging on to unfounded hope. I still found myself waiting to see if she would come, if she would follow. She did.

"Edward?" Bella's small, curious voice called out my name, sending a shiver down my spine. "Edward are you-" Before she had finished that sentence, I had already grabbed her wrist and had started to run down the long hallway with her, hurrying towards the other side of the castle. I could hear her heavy, laboured panting which seemed to beat in time with the sound of our footsteps. "Edward! Where are you taking me?" She asked between gasps of breath, amusement and curiosity evident in her voice.

"You'll see," I called back, sneaking a peek behind me to see her flustered face. I took one more turn around the corner to the storage room before I slowed our pace to a brisk walk. She was huffing behind me and I unlocked the door to the room, lighting up the candles closest to me. I brought her to the piano, and made her sit down next to me.

"I haven't been able to say it yet, but Happy Birthday, Bella," I murmured, momentarily drowning myself in her dark brown eyes. Taking my position on the piano bench, and I started to play. As my fingers grazed along the black and white keys, my eyes watched her as I played each chord, noticing her eyes widening with surprise, her mouth slightly agape, and her lips pulled into the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It was so wonderful to watch as her eyes danced with wonder and her body subconsciously swayed with the tempo. All of her attention was wholly focused on me. I had her all to myself again. My lovely Bella.

My lullaby ended softly, the last note vibrating through the room. I looked back at Bella who hadn't taken her eyes off me throughout the song. She smiled softly at me; her eyes holding a look that made my head spin.

"When did you learn how to play?" she whispered, her voice reverent, as if she was in a chapel or a church.

"Did you like it?" my palms were starting to sweat with nerves.

"I love it."

My heart sang.

"It's beautiful. What's it called? I don't think I've ever heard it before."

"River Flows in You," I said smiling. It was the perfect title for her lullaby. I had composed the song while thinking of her, and had named the song with her smile in mind. I felt myself being drawn to her, to want to hold her and make that face smile. I couldn't fight the urge to touch her, to make her realize that I was still here, and that I would always be here for her. I wanted to protect her. I sensed rather than saw Bella settle down on the piano bench, her body pressing against mine.

"I can't… explain how I feel about it." She murmured. "I…love it. Thank you Edward...for playing it…for me..." her voice drifted off, and she lowered her head to look at her pale hands folded on her lap. I watched her expression change from the blissful smile to a pained grimace.

"Is there something wrong Bella?" Bella seemed to jump slightly.

"No, it's nothing. Don't worry," she said, looking up at me with a reassuring smile. I stared at her. She was a terrible liar.

Something was wrong. One moment ago, we were happy. What happened? Did I do something wrong?

"Bella, what's wrong?" I whispered, worry lacing my voice.

Tears started to form at the corner of her eyes and I could see them beginning to swell. I wanted to wrap my arms around her small frame, but I forced myself back, not wanting to frighten her. It would be best to separate myself from her before I did anything I would regret, anything that would taint her.

She abruptly stood.

"I suppose you have to go now?" I muttered.

"I'm afraid so. Jacob is probably looking for me. I have been gone for too long as is." she said. Walking her walk away from me made my heart burn. I wanted to follow her. To make her look at me, to tell her how much I love her. As she approached the doors, she pulled them open before turning towards me.

"Goodbye, Edward." And with that, she left, leaving me feeling emptier than ever.

The moment I walked out, a few servants were pushing the tables back, leaving a large space for the guests to dance. Hired musicians were setting up their instruments. There was a regular sized piano placed to the side, and two other men holding violins surrounded it. Two other people with slim fingers were fine-tuning their instrument, a smart looking man with his cello, and a tall woman who was softly playing her harp. After a minute or two, they nodded towards each other and music began to fill the air.

I watched as Jacob invited Bella to dance. Their bodies, close together, were swaying to the beat of Aura Lee. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I saw Bella looking down and blushing. Her face was glowing with laugher. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. The fact that Jacob was able to do the things that I could not gnarled at me. The feature that sets us apart, and the defining reason why I could not hate this man. He could make her happy. Jacob was probably better for Bella in many ways than I ever could be. What was even worse was that he was the one she wanted. She chose him.

The music quieted down and I turned around to take one more look at Bella's happy face. That's when Jacob let Bella go, and got down on one knee, as if to pick something up. My gut clenched and my stomach almost heaved as I watched the prince pull out a small dark box. And I could do nothing but watch as he looked at her with the same eyes I watched her with, held her hand and asked the question that made my heart crash.

"Bella, will you marry me?"


	20. Servant Boy

**Salutations! I realize it's been a while. Won't make up excuses, but please still R&R! I shouuld probably warn you that I won't be able to update anytime soon, and I hope that you all understand. It isn't just because I'm busy, but I no longer enjoy writing as much as I used to. Thanks for all of your support so far. You guys mean the world to me 3 **

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I can't help but love Jacob. He was there for me when no one else was. He was the one beside me, cheering me up all the time, the one who lifted my spirits and forget what was missing, even if it was only for a short while. He helped me. He's the one I held on to when I was lost; he was the only one who had helped. Yet, was this my limit? I couldn't help but store feelings for him. I'm only human. He filled parts of the hole that Edward left. He healed my wounds. He made me see a light that I thought had gone. He brought me back to life.

Yes, it was true; I do love Jacob. However, what was the extent of my love? I knew he was important to me, enough to care for him and wish for his happiness. Yet, would I be willing to marry him, just to make him happy? Taking his feelings into consideration, I knew what I had to do to set things right with him. Of course, I know how much I owed him, how much he has done for me without realizing it, but I did not love him more than I would a brother or a dear friend. And for the first time since I met him, he was asking me to do something for him in return. He was asking me for a shot at his own happiness. How could I be so selfish as to deny his feelings for the sake of my own?

Why me? There were so many other princesses who are more beautiful, more intelligent and much more suitable than me. They are sweet, selfless and kind. Of all people who deserved him, who could make him happier than I ever could, why chose me? I wasn't fit to be his bride, none the less, to become his Queen. Not after everything I have done, or rather, what I have yet to do.

Before I could answer, Father banged his fists on the table and rose to his feet. "I won't stand for it, Prince Jacob!" He opposed. "Please reconsider what you're asking. Bella is just a child- barely even fourteen. She doesn't even have experience or the knowledge to rule a country! Please give her a year or two, for us to prepare her into a proper Queen, or the perfect Lady at least."

"Oh, come now, Charlie. You and I both know that's nonsense you're spouting. I cannot find anything wrong with the way Princess Isabella is now, and I'm sure over the course of time, she will be able to learn her duties quickly enough. Furthermore, we both know that she is at the perfect age to marry," King Billy said, shaking off all of father's concern. All eyes shot back at me. I felt the pressure of their gaze on my back. I opened my mouth slightly, to say something, anything, desperately wanting some form of coherence to leave mythroat.

"Is- is there something wrong Bella?" Jacob asked, his eyes melting with worry. I watched as he realized the meaning to my silence. He quickly got off his knee and started laughing; brushing off what I knew he was feeling. Embarrassment. Rejection. Loneliness. I could feel the shame I felt for hurting him. My throat was tight and dry, and my mind was working hard to figure out how speak again.

"Ahaha! Calm yourself, Princess, it almost appears as if you've seem a ghost. Never mind what I just said. Your Father is right; you are much too young to become a queen. But be prepared, Isabella, I vow never to give up! I'll wait for you, and sooner or later, I shall propose to you again!" Although he was  
facing me, he didn't look at me when he said that. Instead, he was gazing far off into the distance, past me and everyone else.

Seeing him hide his pain crushed me, riddling my being with full-blown guilt. How could I do this to him? Jacob was my safe harbor. When the world around me seemed like it was crashing down, he was there, smiling brightly at me. In amidst all of these changes, Jacob was the only one who stayed the same, and  
for that, I'm grateful. He was always beside me, following me without a single complaint. I knew how much Jacob really loved me, how much I know he was willing to do for me, and yet, this was the way I repaid him? How was I supposed to look at him in the face?

I wanted to go back in time. Or maybe bang my head against the wall. What in the world was I thinking? I was the only thing standing in the way of Jacob's happiness. All the things he has given me, and I couldn't even say thank you, or apologize for not saying anything. He was so good to me, too good, and I didn't deserve him. My insides were screaming at me to tell him I was sorry, that he meant so much to me that I couldn't bear the thought of him unhappy; but my body wouldn't listen.

'I have to say it,' I chanted to myself 'I'm sorry Dear Prince, but I cannot marry you. I have to say it. I have to-'

I opened my mouth once again, just as Jacob was turning. My eyes met his, and my mind went blank with fear and dread. Out of nowhere, I heard a quiet, almost-whispery sound exit my throat.

"Yes."

Everyone gasped in unison, their appalled stares boring holes in my back. It took me a full second to realize what had escaped me. Ice filled my stomach, and I could hear the horrible 'thump thump' of my heartbeat in my ears. Maybe I should just crawl under a rock and wither away, or maybe dive right into the centre of the earth. Or hell. Anywhere would be fine as long as I could escape those tender yet confused eyes of Jacob.

"Do you mean it, Bella? You are willing to become my wife?"

"I-"

"Of course she meant it, boy! Keep your head on! She may be young, but she knows what she desires. Therefore, allow me to be the first of many more to say, Congratulations, my son, on your surprising engagement!" Billy boomed happily. Then standing up with a glass of wine in his right hand, he lifted it  
up and said, "To Prince Jacob, and his fiancée, Princess Isabella."

"To the Prince and Princess!" The crowd chanted back, lifting their glasses high, before taking a sip of it. Without saying another word, Jacob moved to stand beside me. I felt his arm wrap gingerly around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He wasn't looking at me, but I could clearly see the smug smile he was trying to hide. It made me feel even sicker. My heart started beating at an irregular pace. The sound of it thrummed in my chest and made my throat uncomfortably dry.

I couldn't remember much after that. I was too busy focusing on breathing properly to understand what was going on. Jacob dragged me along for the remainder of the day, introducing me to many of his friends, and some of the more important guests. When the daylight started to dim, the guests excused  
themselves politely and left. It wasn't long before there were only family members and servants left.

Jacob was about to show me to the guest room, when King Billy came from behind us and patted Jacob on the back. "There's my son and lovely soon to be daughter in law! I get a wave of excitement just thinking about it. After Rachel and Rebecca left, the castle is in constant need of a woman's touch.  
Your mother would have been ecstatic to know you found someone whom you truly adore. I'm proud of you, Jacob."

"So, what are you planning? I know you two have been betrothed for less than a day, but how soon do you plan on getting wed?" King Charlie asked, with a look of defeat.  
"The sooner the better, is it not? Within the next year of course." Billy intervened.

"I was actually hoping next month," Jacob proclaimed. "Of course, only if that's alright with Princess Isabella," he added, looking at me with intense eyes. Guilt coursed through me. The expression on his face wasn't doubt or even love. It was joy. Happiness. Trust. He looked at me with such hopefulness  
that I returned his feelings, that I was left speechless. How could I possibly tell him the truth now, and break his euphoria? Break his heart? As selfish as I was, there wasn't a single atom of me that wanted to hurt him. So I did the only thing I could do. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I just nodded my head.

"There you have it then! The wedding is in a month! We better start immersing ourselves in the wedding preparations! This is going to be a wedding to remember!" Billy declared while stretching out his hand to me. I placed my tiny hand in his, and he drew me to him, giving me a warm hug.

"Prince Jacob, from this point on, I entrust my daughter to you," Father said while shaking his hand. Once Billy let go of me, mother came to my side and also gave me a hug, wrapping her frail arms around me.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Edward as he collected dishes and rushed off, rounding a corner towards the gardens. I desperately wanted to follow him, but I knew my place. As I held my mother's frail body against mine, I found my mind wandering, my eyes lingering over Edward's shadow.

'This is for the best. Edward has lived here, without me for over five months. He was bound to find someone else to love. He has never loved me. Although, if he did, I am still a princes; and he is just a servant boy.'


	21. Hold On To This Lullaby

**A/N Yes, I'm back, and it will stay that way until this story is finished! Thank you for those who stayed with me this long, and I assure you this story will be over soon. I hope it was worth the wait. The next chapter will come out in a month or so.. and that's pretty much it. Please Read and Review!**

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I rest my head against the cool glass window of my room. My head throbbed with the effort to direct my thoughts; hoping that being alone could somehow suppress the arguing voices in my mind.

What have I done? How could I have been so naïve as to think that marrying Jacob was the right thing to do? What made me think that getting married would make all my problems just vanish? What if he were to find out that I didn't love him the same way?

I could imagine the pain on his face, flashing through those dark brown eyes. My heart twisted into knots.

Then that would crush us both. No, he must never know. I have to lock up these feelings for good. He looked so happy when I said yes... I'm in this too deep to back out now. Isn't this for the best though? After all, even if I didn't marry him, wouldn't I have to marry someone else someday?

Isn't it better for me to marry a friend, someone I already know will treat me right rather than a stranger whom I have never met? Since none of them would ever be Edward, and I know I could never learn to love any of them, wouldn't someone I already know who loves me more than anyone else be the best for me? Jacob was good to me. He could take good care of me like he has already had to do. He would be a good husband, wouldn't he?

At the same moment, another little voice piped up from within my head. Edward would be a good one, too. I just know that he would always make his wife laugh and she would be the only person to see that delightful smile of his…

Just the thought of Edward marrying someone other than me made me want to cry. Why was I not good enough for him? What did I have to do to get him to notice me? The thought of the blonde haired, blue-eyed lady holding Edward made me writhe with jealousy. Oh Edward, if only you would tell me not to marry, I wouldn't. Just a little 'no' would give me enough courage to call off the whole wedding.

But why would he care? Reminded the voice. You were nothing more than a friend to him, weren't you? No, maybe not even that; a little girl. That is all he can see you as. You, the little girl who was so clumsy he had to stand close enough to catch her before falling; the one who refused to let go of his hand during a thunderstorm.

Maybe all this was also for the best.

Sooner or later I would have to think of Edward as just that. The servant boy who used to play with me until Lady Jane taught me otherwise. No more Edward who taught me to trust others, or Edward who taught me to love. The person who taught me how to forgive my parents could not have a name or face anymore. He had to become the servant I never really saw him as. I had to gather all my feelings for him, lock them up and throw them away. They were never to be. They shouldn't have existed in the first place.

A gentle knock on the door made me jump, pulling me out of my inner turmoil.

"Excuse me, Princess? I'm here to fix your hair," Alice murmured quietly as she stood at the edge of my door. She carefully avoided my gaze and it took me a while to register why she was there. I nodded slightly to give her permission to come in. She looked so sad, as if she could understand my predicament. I stood up and she rushed to my side, sitting me down in front of my mirror. Grabbing a lock of my hair, she carefully brushed it back, leaving the curls at the end. Her skilled fingers weaving through my mussed hair before pinning the strands at the side of my head.

Moments passed and I simply watched her put the rest of my hair up in an elegant twist. Finally, she pinned the crown veil on top of my head, and unfurled it so that it flowed all the way down to the floor. Slowly, she took a step back at to view her masterpiece. I studied my reflection in the mirror with silent awe. The girl I saw before me was barely recognizable. Her dark chocolate eyes were large and captivating, a stark contrast against her porcelain skin. Her cheeks were flushed with a delicate shade of pink. Her silky hair dangled loosely in front of her ears, framing her face. The intricately woven braids on her head made her look so elegant. Alice truly outdid herself.

"There…I'm… I'm finished Princess", she said, finally looking at my eyes through the reflection. She blinked and suddenly warm tears were flowing down her cheeks. She quickly tried to brush them away, but as soon as she did, a new drop began to form.

Surprised and shaken, I spurned around. "Alice? Wh-what's the matter? Why are you crying?"

"It's just that… you look so beautiful Princess, I can't believe you are getting married today. And to Prince Jacob of all people," she explained brokenly through hiccups, a hint of poison lacing her voice when she said Jacob's name. The way she said it and her reasoning… they were both flawless. If I hadn't known Alice, I would have smiled and believed her. But Alice was the one person outside Edward whom I was able to really trust, and in return, I was able to see pass her half-truths and comforting lies. Right now, the way she was looking at me was not with joy, or even sadness, but with pity.

I frowned. "Alice, How long do you think I've known you for? You may say that but I know it's not fully true. Now tell me the real reason you are crying." I added firmly. To be honest, I was frightened. Alice never cried. She looked at me for a long time, then shook her head as if she was ashamed of talking to me,

"Princess, why are you doing this? Why are you getting married when you know the one you love is still alive? How could you do this to yourself? You don't really love the Prince, do you? You can't marry him. Edward would be-"

"That's enough. I don't understand the nonsense you are spouting," I said, a mask slipping over my features, my words harsher than I intended. "I plan to marry Jacob this afternoon because I love him."

"Yes, perhaps as a sibling, or maybe even as a friend, but definitely not as a lover. I know you still love Edward. Please don't do this to yourself. Have you not always been truthful to yourself?" Alice looked at me with such intensity that I was not able to lie to her.

"I can't...love … him though. How can I continue loving him when he doesn't love me? What would e the point of that?" My mind swirled with the arguments that I've gone through a thousand times. My heart wrenching in pain as each word pierced me with their truth. "If he were to know how much I cared about him, how do you think he would react? Happy? No, he would be furious. He doesn't want or need me to  
love him. He has never once loved me."

"But he-"

"Please, Alice don't do this to me. Don't you dare do this to me," I snarled. "Jacob will make me his wife this afternoon, and this body will belong to him…" my voice broke, "But I will always love Edward." I whispered. "Surely I will learn to love Jacob that way too, but these feelings for Edward will be with me even when I die."

"So you've only ever loved Edward?"

"Forever and always." I swore.

The door creaked and our attention shifted to the person behind it. Jacob. His hands were covering his eyes as he walked toward me. My heart stopped for a moment. Was he there the whole time? How much had he heard?

"Jacob, I-"

"I know, I know, it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, but come on! My eyes are closed, so I'm not really seeing you, see?" his tone was playful, but his voice cracked when he was laughing, and a glisten of moisture ran out from under his hand.

He had heard.

I panicked. Oh Lord, how could I… why did I… Jacob…. He had heard! In my fear, I started to stutter as the image of Jacob, hurt and sad flashed through my mind.

"Jacob… I'm so sor-"

"Anyways," his voice cutting through my mumbling. "I cannot wait to see you, even more to marry you!"

"You… still want to marry me?" I asked, the shock finding its way into my voice, as much as I tried to hide it.

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't…I don't understand. Didn't you just-"

"Pardon me for interrupting, your Highnesses, but if you don't mind, it's already three in the afternoon and I still need to get the Princess ready for the wedding," Alice said with a polite tone, and glared at me, warning me not to speak.

"Ah, I'm afraid the girl is right," Jacob nodded. "Then until we wed, my love," he said, his smile returning full force to his face. He turned around and left the room before I could even open my mouth. I stared at the door long after he was gone. I did it again. Why did it have to be like this? Why was it that I kept causing him more and more pain? The guilt I felt for hurting him again was enough to want to crawl under a rock. I should never have been allowed to exist.

"He heard, Alice, he heard. What am I going to do? Oh, of all people," I sobbed, my voice cracking with the strain. I was a horrible human being, a monster. My cruelty had flunked to rock bottom. I was the lowest of the low. I might as well have taken a knife and killed Jacob myself. That pain would probably hurt less. The betrayal would be better than what I had done. I would know. Because I would have preferred death than the man I love betraying me the way I did Jacob.

"Hush now, Princess. Everything will be okay as soon as you stop hurting yourself more than you already have. This is not your fault. Even Jacob knows that you can't help who you fall in love with. He still chooses to marry you. Now it's your turn to do as you wish."

* * *

It was noon when we arrived at the venue. The sun shone so brightly behind the clouds that sweat shone our foreheads. I could feel the beads of moisture running down the back of my neck. In spite of the glaring sunlight, it was hard for me to register the fact that this wedding was for Bella. Or maybe I just didn't want to acknowledge it, because that would make it real. Because that would make me realize that I was losing the one woman whom I love. I made sure to keep myself busy so I wouldn't end up sulking in the corner or worse- murdering the prince while he was still getting dressed, and taking his place at the altar.

There was no reason for me to be like this. Bella was alive and happy, and that should have been enough for me, right? Wrong. I wanted more. I wanted to be the one tucking that loose lock of hair behind her ear. That should be me pulling her in close, hugging her and not wanting to let her go. I yearned to be the one she looked at with those chocolate eyes, knowing I was the only thing she needed, the only one she wanted. More than that, I wanted to be able to tell her that the one who loves her the most is me. I should be the one she marries, not that Prince of hers. He could never love her like I did.

The wedding started in two hours and though I didn't say it out loud, I had given up. I wasn't really in the mood to talk about it, when someone on a horse came up from behind me and smacked me in the back of my head. I turned; disgruntled when I saw Jeluby, and downright sad when I realized it was Jasper on him. What was I expecting? That Bella would show up, gown and all, and run away from her own wedding, with me on a horse?

"What was that for?" I growled, letting my annoyance seep into my voice.

"Come with me," he demanded, "I need to talk to you. Not here though." He hoisted me up the horse and we rode away. I let him take me away, hoping I wouldn't be there when the bride and groom exchanged vows. After a while of riding in silence, I decided to speak first, as curiosity overcame my foul mood.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked. Instead of giving me a straight reply, he completely ignored me question. He continued riding, his back straight, refusing to glace back at me.

"How can you do it?" His voice was shaking and there was an almost a snarl of anger to his words. "Do you know how many people truly fall in love with another person? And do you know how many of them are loved back? And yet here you are, so calm about letting her go. How can you stand here, and watch her get married when you know you love her? When deep down, you know she loves you too?" His voice started to rise heatedly, as we rode further away from the crowd. "Why won't you tell her? How could you throw it, throw her, throw your love, all away? Because you're too scared she might not love you back? It's disgraceful. I can hardly believe that I once considered you my brother."

"What are you talking about, Jasper? Bella has never in her life told me that she loved me. How are you so sure she does? Proof?" I spat. "You have none. But I can tell you how I know she doesn't." I clenched my fist in the futile hopes that the next words would not tear my heart to shreds. "Today, she weds a prince and not me."

"Of course she's marrying a prince;" He snapped. "she doesn't know you love her! Did you ever tell her? No! And you call yourself a man. Edward, when you left she was a mess. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep, and I doubt she even cried. She just sat there, dead; as if she was paralyzed from shock." Jasper's voice softened slightly. "She loved you, and knowing you were still alive was probably the only reason she stayed alive; to meet you again."

"And you think I had something to do with it?" I felt the anger rising in my chest. "Now I know you're crazy! I feel rather stupid because I believed you for a second." I hissed. Bella, was sad about me going away? Bella caring that I left in the first place? Hah! All lies.

Jasper sighed. "How do I know this? I don't, I just feel it, Edward. And you know, you're right, you are stupid. Stupid for not realizing that she loved you with everything she had. Stupid for…for… stupid for giving up." A small swell of light seemed to shine through the darkness of my mind. I tried to stop the spread of hope that blossomed, but the seed was already planted.

"Well let's say, for the sake of argument that she did love me. What do you suppose I do now? She's still getting married to that Prince of hers."

"Oh, quit complaining!" Jasper exclaimed frustratedly. "This is your fault because she still doesn't know you love her! Idiot! Fool! Oh of all the times…ugh…okay… maybe you're right, Maybe it is too late, but if you don't try, won't you regret it for the rest of your life? Won't it kill you as you grow older to know that you lost each other even though you were both in love? What is a life without someone you love, Edward? Is it really a life at all?"

And that's when I heard her. "_Please Edward…"_ her voice whispered softly in my head. It had been a while since I heard my mother. Though I had very few memories of her, this time I could hear her voice clearly. It took me back to the time I was kneeling at the side of her bed, praying that she'd get better. It was her dying wish._"...if I could ask of you, sometimes, you have to tell someone how you feel. Please, let someone inside of you_."

I looked at Jasper and knew he was right. I had to stop this damned wedding, whether she loved me or not.

For the first time since the proposal, I felt somewhat alive again. I glanced around me.

"Where are you taking me again?" I asked.

"Nowhere, really. I just needed to rub your stupidity in your face before the wedding."

"If that's the case, bring me back," I commanded.

"What exactly do you plan to do now? Have you been plotting while I was talking?" There was an amused hint to his voice now. I smiled back at him.

"I've got a wedding to stop."


	22. Forever

_**A.N. Alas, here it is. I AM SORRY IT'S BEEN nearly three months... Is it bad that I'm actually crying? Here is the last, that's right, the Final chapter of Servant Boy. Do most people get this sad when they finish their first story? Maybe I'm too attached. Well for the sake of it being the last time I will be able to say it for this story...**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT NOR WILL I EVER. Although I've always wanted an Edward of my own...**_

_**So now, please enjoy Chapter 22 of Servant Boy. Please do not forget to REVIEW! It makes me know I'm not a total failure as an author. )**_

* * *

Alice tried to distract me by helping slip on my gown, but it became a reminder of what I was doing. It sickened me knowing that I had betrayed Jacob once again. If only I could just love him the way he wanted me to. I had tried my hardest to forget my feelings from before, to force myself to love him, but to no avail. Whenever I was with him, all I could think about was comparing how different he was from Edward. His height, his voice, his laugh, and each time I saw Jacob, I would see how he lacked the green eyes I so desperately missed. All along, I was not giving him a chance. He was not Edward.

"Princess, I'm almost…finished," Alice murmured while fixing the veil on my head. She gave me an encouraging smile and dismissed herself to get the bouquet. Once she left, I decided to take a quick peek at myself in the mirror.

My wedding dress was a simple a-line dress that gathered around the waist. With a shallow v-neckline, a bodice made of crepe satin and French Chantilly lace, the hem of the gown was long enough that it would drag across the ground. The three quarter length sleeves had an intricate flower design woven on it, with twenty or so buttons on each sleeve fit the shape of my arms exactly. While the front of the dress looked rather plain and reserved, the back was extraordinary. The rear had intricate lace flowers delicately embroidered at the sides. The middle was a sheer panel made of translucent voile exposing my back, which ended above my waist. What seemed to be holding the dress together was a line of small, uniform buttons in the center. The chiffon veil was crowned with my tiara, and the light material fluttered behind me like butterfly's wings.

There was a rap on my door and Alice poked her head in. Her face was flushed and panicked. Hurriedly entering the room without my permission, she thrust the simple, hand-tied bouquet at me. I glanced down at the soft wave of scent that hit my lap. Packed with beautiful ivory flowers, it contained hyacinths, freesia, stocks and ranunculus. Slightly out of breath she announced,

"I have just received notice that the wedding will start earlier than planned. Something urgent has come up, and King Billy has to leave immediately after the ceremony. I'm sorry Princess, but it's time for you to go." I winced at her words. The wedding was starting too soon. I wasn't ready to do this. My mind was already racing, hands shaking crazily, and my breathing uneven. Alice gently placed her tiny hand on mine.

"Don't fret, Princess. Everything will turn out alright no matter what you decide."

Her words served to placate me slightly, and I steeled my nerves. She was right. I had already decided that I would marry Jacob. Jacob who has never hurt me, Jacob who has always watched over me, has asked me for one thing in return. I took a deep breath and walked out of my room without looking back.

Lady Jane was waiting for me at the front door, bowing reluctantly when she saw me. She signaled the guards to open the double doors and followed after me. Outside was a fairly large carriage, one that Father normally used to go to far away places. The outside had the grand Empire style body. Small pillars with engraved laurel leaves were then topped by golden eagles, the royal emblem. A crown was placed on the roof, showing the world of its standing. The coachman's seat was raised to the level of the roof, with two dangling lanterns on either side. Although the door was open, I could distinctly remember the coat of arms in black and gold with winged dragons protecting it. There was a folding step on the ground, and a servant was kneeling down, waiting for me to enter.

I timidly got up on the stool and entered the carriage. The interior was lined with white silk upholstered in capitonné. The scent of the inside made my head spin. I sat back in the delicate seat, prompting the footman to leave.

The carriage rolled across the bridge passing through the gateway to the palace-like church. Made of white bricks and supporting a large tower, the old cathedral was a sight to see with the decorations for the wedding.

After a long stretch of grass where the reception was to be, the carriage stopped. The faintness I felt before entering the carriage was making me dizzy, and my greatest fear was missing a step and ruining my dress. I clung to the seat as the footman lent me a hand getting off. Before I knew it, Father was at my side, and he shakily took my arm and wrapped it around his. He looked just as nervous as I felt. The blaring tune of Pachelbel's canon started to play and I could feel the lower beats make my heart pound faster. The sweet melody from the violins played slowly, beckoning me forward.

"I assume that's our queue, Bella," King Charlie said, and started walking into the church.  
"Please don't let me fall, Papa," I whispered shyly. Gripping his arm tightly, I began to follow the slow march of the song.

The inside the gothic styled cathedral was much more splendid than the outside. From the black and white marble that created a jagged pattern across the floor, to the magnificent tall ceiling sculpted to create floral patterns. The head of the church was unfolding before me, the rows and rows of oak benches at the sides filled with all sorts of nobility I had never met prior to this ceremony. This time though, I recognized more faces. All around the front of the cathedral were stained glass windows, each window telling a story in pictures. In the center of the church was the greatest window that brought in the most light, the colours emitting from it dancing in the candle scented air.

"You know, Bella, it's not too late," Father whispered to me. The organ seemed to drone out the sound of everything else but his voice. I clung on to him, afraid that I would fall if I didn't. I feared that prying my eyes away from the ground would only result in embarrassment, but I jerked my head back to face him. Demanding to know what he was saying; if he knew that I didn't love Jacob as much as I should.

"We can say you're not up to this and cancel this whole wedding idea for another day… cancel the engagement for a couple years, at least until you're ready to marry," he muttered. So this sudden plan to stop the wedding was because he didn't want me to go. I breathed a sigh of relief and resorted to watching the floor move under my feet. My secret was still safe.

"I don't want you to worry about me anymore, Father. I will be fine. This is what I want," I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

My heart thumped. That's right. I chose to be here. This is for Jacob. I am here for Jacob. I could not let my anxiousness get the better of me. Jacob is good for me. I will grow to love him, and everything will work out the way it's meant to be.

For some reason that thought gave me strength. I can do this. Jacob will be my chance at happiness, and I can give him his. The aisle was menacingly long, the march growing slower, and when I felt like we were close enough to the head of the church, I looked up.

There he was, standing at the front of the church, arms extended. I gazed at his reddish-bronze hair, his warm, green eyes and over at his triumphant, crooked smile…No, this isn't right! I shook my head anguish. Why was I seeing Edward when I was marrying Jacob? I cursed my eyes for deceiving me, for showing me that I could never be with the person I really loved. I choked back my angry tears. Fearing the only thing I could do was to dwell on my misery, the ache of wishing he was here, I closed my eyes and focused on breathing.

* * *

Jasper and I were going as fast as we could back to the Castle. I could feel the pulse of my heart beating according to the trot of Jeluby's hooves. Sadly, Jeluby was not meant for racing, and so by the time we reached the castle, there was almost no one there. One of the milk maids left behind had told us that we had just missed Bella by a few minutes. She explained how the wedding was moved up by an hour in order to work with King Billy's schedule.

I hopped back on Jeluby, as I waited for Jasper to find another horse to ride, and we raced the clock to get to the wedding before the vows. Worried that we wouldn't make it in time, I began to shake uncontrollably. The wind whipped past me, not helping the fear that was slowly burning inside. The adrenaline was pumped through me, the uncertainty of what will happen next putting me edge.

Although I knew what I was set out to do was considered treason, a crime that could put me to death, it would be worth doing if I could finally tell her. I could finally hear how she feels about me. Then there was the question of how I felt about her. Although I wasn't one to talk about my feelings, I knew this was the time to. I loved her, of course. She was the first person since mother that showed me any kindness and opened up my heart to care about somebody other than myself. Bella showed me acceptance and that not everyone is as selfish as the man my mother married. In my eyes there were two worlds, me and the rest of the world, but then Bella walked into my life and became the bridge that connected both.

I would have to declare my feelings, to a larger crowd than I intended to. I quickly felt the embarrassment stir at the thought of having all those eyes staring at me while I confessed my undying love to her. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't a clue what to tell her to change her mind. What was so good about me that would allow her to run off with me instead of Jacob? No matter how hard I thought about it, there is no reason for her to choose me over the Prince. There was no proof that I was a man of any better standing than he. In fact, he may have the upper hand considering he is a young and handsome prince. He is better for her than I would ever be, and took care of her when I couldn't. All in all, the Prince was not a bad person, and I was sure that he deeply cared for her as well. Maybe in another life we could have been friends; had he not been trying to steal the only reason for my existence.

The self hate that developed in the past few minutes devoured me. There was nothing that could set me apart from Jacob. I had been a servant boy to her since we were children, nothing more than that. She has never tried to see me as a man, and could never love someone like me; someone so worthless. How could I ever compare to a Prince? How could I even begin to put us on the same battlefield?

And then I heard my mother again. "_You have to tell someone how you feel. Please, let someone inside of you._"

"_Mother, I have done just that_," I thought. "_I have let her in and she has changed me. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I love Bella with everything, and I don't plan to let her go. This will be my first step to that happily ever after. I might die, but I will die knowing if we ever shared the same thought."_

The suddenness of my revelation left me disorientated. My reason; I love her more than anyone else on this planet, including him. We were almost to the church, crossing over a stone bridge before getting to the gates, when I dug my heels into Jeluby which caused him sprint faster than I knew he could.

* * *

'_Inhale_' I sucked in a deep breath. _'now, exhale_…' I found myself having to chant instructions to keep calm. Father and I were walking at a slow pace but before I knew it, we were already at the front of the church. A second later Father took my hand that was intertwined with his, and in the age-old rite shakily put it over top Jacob's. He took my head in his large hands and kissed me on the forehead. He murmured "Good luck, Bella," and left.

My mind was screaming at him to stay, not to leave me alone or make me go through with it. Instead I closed my eyes to force the tears back and empty my mind. I felt Jacob squeeze my shaky hand to make sure I was okay. This is for the best, I thought, and gathered up the courage to finish what I started.

"Dearly beloved," The priest said in a dull, monotone voice, "we are gathered here in the presence of nature, and before these friends and family, to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony, which is an honorable and beautiful estate, and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but instead with love, respect, friendship, and honor. Into this  
estate these two persons present come now to be joined."

"Jacob Black and Isabella Marie Swan have come to witness before us, telling of their love for each other. We remind them that they are performing an act of complete faith each in the other; that the heart of their marriage will be the relationship they create. In a world where faith often falls short of expectation, it is a tribute to these two who now join hands and hearts in perfect faith."

"Jacob," he continued, "will you give yourself to Isabella to be her husband: to love her, comfort her, honor and protect her; and forsaking all others, be faithful to her so long as you both shall live?"

Jacob looked at me with piercing eyes and without hesitation said, "I will."

"Isabella, will you give yourself to Jacob, to be his wife: to love him, comfort him, honor and protect him; and forsaking all others, to be faithful to him so long as you both shall live?"

"I-I will," I whispered.

I heard shifting feet and I turned to see my parents alongside Jacob's, looking proudly at us.

"Do you, parents of Isabella and Jacob, give your blessing to this marriage?"

"We do."

A little boy the age of seven suddenly appeared beside Jacob, holding a rather extravagant red pillow. He lifted the pillow so that it was high enough for Jacob to just reach for the ring.

"Isabella, I give you this ring as…" This is it. There is absolutely no turning back now. This ring, oh this small little token of marriage, has now tied the string of fate between Jacob and me. It is a string that cannot be severed, and can never be replaced. This is meant to happen.

"… and the Holy Spirit." Jacob finished. I realized it was my turn to speak, and I blushed because I did not realize it sooner. Jacob nodded at me to say my lines, but I could not find my voice. _'I can do this_,' I thought, and took another deep breath before picking up Jacob's ring and saying,

"Jacob…I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit" I put the ring on his finger, and looked at the Priest to continue.

"Do you, Jacob Black, take Isabella Marie Swan to be your wife? To promise before God and these friends to be her loving and faithful husband, to share with her in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and to join with her so that together you may serve God and others, as long as you both shall live?"

"Of course I do."

The Priest nodded before saying, "And, Isabella Marie Swan, do you take Jacob Black to be your husband? Do you promise before God and these friends to be his loving and faithful wife, to share with him in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and to join with him so that together we may serve God and others, as long as you both shall live?"

"I…" My eyes fell straight down to the floor and would not look up. Memories of Jacob and Edward mixed together and created a mess of me. Jacob was not Edward, but he was such a great person despite that. He loved me when no one else would. Without even knowing it, he was able to open me up again and let me be happy. He was kind and exceptionally caring. He washed away some parts of me that longed for and missed Edward. He was the only person who knew what I wanted without me having to say. I was certain that in another life I would have loved him with all I had. If I had never met Edward, the person I would be yearning to marry would be Jacob. But because ifs do not mean reality, I was standing in front of the altar, finding reasons not to marry Jacob.

Of course, there were none of that, because I knew that if I let him, he would let me sob quietly on his chest, or talk to me and make me forget. And although his words won't quite reach me, I know he would be trying his best to be the one for me. This is the part of him that I have grown to love, but I could not let him do that for me anymore. I could at least give him this. I did not want him to suffer on my behalf. I knew it was wrong for me to think like this, selfish to use him the way I wanted to, but those thoughts were canceled out when I thought of saying no and wind up being alone again. I did not want the pain of being by myself, or the agony I would have to undergo if he decided to leave me. It was a thought I could not stand. So I re-summoned the courage that I felt earlier, and with the biggest smile I could muster, I opened my mouth slowly and said, "I d-"

"I must speak to the Princess. Please just let me talk to her," a voice cried. A sweet, velvety voice that sounded all too familiar. The voice that I had been dying to hear for so long was here. Edward was here.

Without a second thought I instantly looked back at the entrance doors, where his voice came from, and panicked.

* * *

"You are not permitted to enter you foolish boy," one of the guards I recognized as Jared Cameron said quietly. "The wedding ceremony is in process."

"You do not understand, I need to see her," I said, trying to pushing past him. The other guard standing on the other side of the door stepped in and created a barricade.

"Please, gentlemen, let us through," Jasper reasoned, and he backed away to show that we meant no harm.

"Let me go in! Please, I must speak to the Princess. Please allow me to talk to her," I begged.

"Hush, Peasant," the other guard said, "you may not pass." Defeated and angry, my rage was starting to consume me. But Jasper held down my shoulder to calm me. He then gave me a nod and without notice, he punched the other guard in the eye. The guard let out an ugly scream before collapsing to the ground. I ran to the door and looked back to give thanks to Jasper for holding back Jared. Then I pushed through the door and without daring to look back.

The people gasped in unison as I entered the cathedral. I suppose I wasn't quite dressed for the occasion. There were horrified looks from everyone, but I could only see Bella's face as I walked toward her.

"Stop the wedding, I must speak with the Princess," I said. The people began whispering, but a female's voice yelled over top theirs.

"Who do you think you are, boy? Guards, capture him." Some men scrambled to their feet, but another person, Carlisle, stopped them.

"Please, hear him out," he said. "He must have something important to say." A hush fell over the room, and the guards stopped, none of them making their way to me. Looking around to confirm that no one else would harm me, I began to speak.

"Bella, I love you. I have loved you from the moment you saved me from dying so many years ago, and I always will. Being apart from you hasn't changed that. Every day I wasn't by your side was spent thinking of you, of your adorable smile, and your sweet laugh that still sparks life into me. Days passed, overlapping each other, but I kept working hard for the sole reason that to meet with you again was keeping me alive. I even learned to play the piano in if ever that day came and I could play for you."

"Memories of you haunted me daily. During the short time I had with you, you never ceased to amaze. When everyone else was so easy to understand, you had no ulterior motives. You were pure. I couldn't help but give in to your kindness. The thing is, Bella, although I have many faults and in no way am I as rich as Prince Jacob, I will love you more than he ever will."

There was total silence in the grand cathedral. The stares coming from nobility were nerve wracking.

"I realize that there is a chance you might not feel the same way about me, but being able to express how I feel is important because I need you to know that I would do anything to be with you. That if you should choose a life with me, I will never forsake you. This is why I am prepared for the consequences of the crime I am committing, because living this life without you, Bella, is not a life at all. I'd invite death to take me if it means I can no longer be by your side. With that said, if you still choose to be with Prince Jacob, I understand. If you love him, I promise you I will not get in the way any longer. If anything, I just want you to live a happy life; even if it does not include me. But I will always love you, and I will go on for the rest of my life, no matter how short it is, loving you. So please, Bella, if you ever felt even a morsel of love that I feel for you, please tell me now. I would be happy just to know that at one point, you thought of me."

My knees gave in and I fell, feeling the concrete floor underneath me. Not wanting to show her my face, I bowed, unable to look at her expression. The fear of rejection was creeping over me, and I wasn't sure if I was prepared to hear her answer anymore. But she stood there, without a reply, and I could only hear silence. I knew it. I was a fool to think that she felt anything for me. Shame coursed through my body. The difference between us was too big to overcome. But that didn't matter. I didn't really think that she would ever love me as much as I loved her, but I prepared myself to tell her today because it would be too late otherwise. Who knows, maybe I was already too late?

"Thank you for taking the time to listen to what I had to say your Majesties. Whatever fate you have for me, I am willing to accept," I said before standing up. The guards simultaneously rushed to me, roughly grabbing my wrists and above my elbows, but I did not resist. They turned me around and started to walk out of the church.

"Edward," Bella cried, fear and sadness evident in her voice. The guards stopped and turned around again. A spark of hope was lit in my heart. Hope that the reason she was crying was because she loved me, but it was merely crushed by the logic. I saw the look of terror in her eyes and noticed the tears that were flowing endlessly down her face. I cursed myself for making her cry again. I could never do anything right. The reason for her tears was because she did not want to see a servant of hers die. In the end, that's all I ever was to her; the lowly servant boy who did as she pleased. My feelings for her probably took her off guard.

Bella looked at me intently, capturing my gaze and forcing me not to look away.

"I-" she began to say, and then looked at Prince Jacob pleadingly. A new set of tears began to form in her eyes. A look of terror flitted on Jacob's face when he understood that he was the reason for these tears. Too paralyzed to move, Jacob looked at her with a mix of emotions. Then, without warning, he pulled her in to a forceful hug, wrapping his huge arms around her and holding her tightly. He focused his attention to me, and gave me a piercing look. He glared at me for a moment, and, as if sharing his thoughts, gave me a look that said, '_If you hurt her in any way, I will kill you_.'

I stared back at him in disbelief. But before I could even ask what he was trying to say, he slowly started to speak.

"If Bella ever feels like you are not treating her right, I will hear about it, and I will not think twice to destroy you. If you so much as lay a finger on her without her permission, I will be there to kill you. And if she one day decides that she would be better off with me, which she is, I will gladly take her back. I won't hesitate to take her away from you." He threw me dirty look before turning back to Bella.

In a gentler voice whispered, "Please be happy." He moved Bella so she was facing me, and then mustering all the courage and self control he had, he pushed her. She turned her head back to see what he was thinking.

"It was very kind of you to spare my feelings, Princess, but go," was all he said.

"But Prince Jacob!" a man yelled. Jacob raised a hand to silence him.

"Bella has already made her choice. Anyone who touches her or harms her in any way will have to answer to me. Father, I have made my decision. This is what I want," he ordered, and without another word, he walked away. It took a minute to watch him leave, walking away into another corridor of the church and disappearing in the shadows.

"Edward." The most dulcet sound slipped from Bella's lips. She looked at me as if trying to process what had happened; and then without giving it much thought, ran to me, smiling happily, and I caught her in my arms. I hugged her tightly, not sure whether I would ever be able to let go. She nuzzled her face into my chest, her tears damping my dirty servants clothing. She looked up at me, her face filled with emotion.

"I love you too," she said, her words warming up every part of my body. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you… I never thought I would be able to say that," she half giggled half cried. I laughed along with her, seeing the excitement and relief in her eyes. My gaze wondered down more and I noticed the redness in her cheeks, the fullness of her mouth. I lowered my head, shifting closer to her, watching her reaction carefully. She grinned.

"I believe I've been waiting for this since I first laid eyes on you…"

She pressed her lips softly on mine. At first I kissed her cautiously, lovingly, letting my mind give in to the pleasurable feeling of her touch. I was intoxicated with her sweet fragrance, a mix of freesia and wildflowers. Her skin was burning underneath mine, making my mind go blank. I felt her fingertips in my hair, entangling her with me, not daring to let go.

Bella was finally mine.

* * *

Life goes on whether we want to or not. It wasn't easy convincing Father to let Edward and I marry, but somehow we did, and somehow we are happy. What has happened to me in the past has changed me. It is a part of me and I cannot forget it. I do not want to forget it. No one is making me forget it. It made me the stronger person I am today. But I am not yet strong enough. The tests and trials of these years will stand by me, and make me someone capable of protecting the people she loves. And although there is no guarantee that the years to come will come easy, I am proud to say that I am certain about two things. I love Edward unconditionally, and he loves me.

So, on that dreadful day when we are both old and will be forced to part, and one of us will have to live while the other stays and waits their turn; we will be okay. I will live my life with the happy memories that Edward left with me. I would have lived knowing that, even for once in my life I was wanted, and that I was never, and never will be, alone.

* * *

_**A.N. Thank you guys for everything! Thank you for reading this story, for reviewing, and allowing me to grow as a writer. You are amazing! I dedicate this story to several people. First, to the boy who made me feel these emotions, to the friends I made over the years, and to the people who walked right in and straight out of my life. Also to my wonderful Beta Reader who I am very grateful to have, Purehearts, thanks for sticking around! Thanks to those who supported posting my first story on fanfiction, and of course to YOU! Finally, thank you for staying with me even though I was not the best at updating and took a whole two years to complete this story! I hope you don't mind me saying, but I LOVE YOU ALL. And I will finish this by saying THANK YOU! **_


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